BILL BURR

Before this Bio begins, I would like to say “What’s up!” to all the morning DJs glancing at this page as I sit across from you, pretending to be down to Earth. I am a stand up comedian. It’s very important to me. One of my goals in life is to be able to go to the movies whenever the f*ck I want to. I don’t want some douche telling me when I can go to lunch or even worse, when I have to be back. “I’ll be back when I’m done eating, you hypothetical cunt.” I enjoy annoying people who are doing things that I feel aren’t that important. I relate to dictators. I don’t agree with what they do. But I get it. I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy. I’ve done two hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This” and “Let It Go.” I plan on taping another special at the beginning of 2012. I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. This past year I was lucky enough to be in two episodes of Breaking Bad. I hope to get a chance to do more work like that in the future. That’s it. Go f*ck yourself.