Student Blog: Being My Own Doorman

When I started college, I wasn’t quite sure where I wanted things to go. I knew I wanted to be in New York, and that part of my plan had already been achieved, so what was next? I started out as a Creative Writing major after “studying” it for all four years of high school. However, I quickly learned that I was burnt out of creative writing. That isn’t to say I didn’t still love it, I just knew that if I continued to major in it, that love would fizzle out. So I changed my major to journalism, and added a minor in the music industry. This would allow many more career paths to open up for me, which made the idea of graduating far less daunting.

Still, as a freshly 18-year-old woman, I wasn’t ready to take advantage of all of the opportunities the city, and even my school, had to offer me. I found a minimum wage barista job, and decided that was perfectly enough. To be fair, at the time it was! I didn’t feel the need to expand my portfolio or find jobs in my career field just yet. I was still learning the outs and ins of being an adult and living (somewhat) on my own.

It wasn’t until sophomore year that I felt I should be doing more. People around me were starting to talk about internships and what they wanted to do when they graduated, and I still felt like I was adjusting to being thousands of miles from home. Even though I was less anxious at first, I still wasn’t 100% sure what I was doing in New York, or if I fully belonged yet. There was a fear that if I tried to make things happen for myself, they would never happen at all, or I’d be embarrassed for trying.

This year, something clicked. I don’t know if it was turning 20, or just feeling like I’ve snuck my way into the door of my school’s community, but I’ve pushed that fear aside, and realized that the only way you can get what you want is by putting yourself in positions that are out of your comfort zone. I’ve gone on a few field trips with one of my classes to places like Bloomberg and Rolling Stone, and both times, I’ve found a way to connect with someone there, in the hopes that I can find myself in those rooms someday.

The thing about young people, especially young women, is that we’re often underestimated. People don’t like to think that we can do anything of value unless that thing is handed to us on a platter. In reality, it’s much harder to find a career that makes you happy when you didn’t find it yourself. I want to be thought of as not just capable, but as someone you’d want in your corner indefinitely, so I intend to take every opportunity presented to me, and build any opportunity that I can find myself.