Broadway Moms Part 1: The Balancing Act Featuring Marissa Jaret Winokur

Broadway Moms, Part I: A Balancing Act

Any working mom will agree: it's a balancing act. Giving 100% of yourself to your job and 100% of yourself to your family means being twice the person and that's just not possible. So how do successful Broadway parents do it? How do they fit in a full night's sleep and full day of parenting while simultaneously performing at night and auditioning or rehearsing by day? It's something I've struggled with since becoming a mom seven years ago. When I'm not working, I miss being on stage and being a working person. When I am working, I'm constantly feeling guilty, overwhelmed and exhausted. Lots of other performing parents seem to do it all with ease, so I decided to talk to two of my favorite Broadway Moms: Original Hairspray Stars Marissa Jaret Winokur and Kerri Butler, to find out just how they perform the balancing act.

Marissa Jaret Winokur shot to Broadway Star status in 2003 by winning the Tony for Best Leading Actress in a Musical (and the Drama Desk, and the Outer Critics) for her performance as Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray. She quickly parleyed that into a successful television career that included being a regular cast member on Pamela Anderson's Stacked, competing in the popular Dancing With the Stars and her current gig, co-hosting the CBS daytime talk show The Talk.

In 2008, Marissa became a mother with the birth of her son Zev. From my seat over here in New York, she never seemed to take a break. If she had a maternity leave moment, I never knew it and neither did her fans. Balancing a successful career on stage and screen while mothering a 2 year old made Marissa a perfect candidate for my quest to figure out how a woman "does it all".

Boy was I in for a surprise.

"There's no real balance in my life", Marissa told me. "When I'm at work I'm like, ‘I should be home' and when I'm home I'm like, ‘I should be working. I'm conflicted wherever I am.

Just last month in fact, Marissa left her son Zev with a babysitter in order to attend an audition. While waiting for her appointment to begin, she began texting with the sitter. "What did he eat? How long did he nap?" she asked. "I was hating myself because I hadn't seen Zev that day and I was so busy texting with the sitter that I MISSED THE AUDITION! I literally paid a sitter to watch my son so I could audition, and missed the audition because I was so busy texting her."

It's one of the reasons she's been leaning towards film and TV in recent years. "What if I'm on stage and something happens at home....You're on stage! You can't go...you're not checking your cell phone. When I'm taping, I'm a textaholic."

She also acknowledges the difference in family-friendly work schedules. Her taping schedule at The Talk is ideal. "Zev is up at 7:30, I'm in the makeup chair at 8. I'm finished by 1 or 2....he's napping, and I have the rest of my day with him." Sometimes she even brings him to work with her.

"I never in a million years could have done the whole Hairspray thing with a baby. I remember seeing Patty Lupone doing Gypsy when Zev was four months old...I asked her how anyone can do it with kids and she said, ‘You wrap ‘em up in a blanket like a baked potato and take ‘em wherever you go."

Marissa isn't sure that would work for her.

"I'm sure there are other women who can, but I'm not that....On Broadway you have to be so focused and on point and healthy...I can't imagine putting that energy into a show right now....when I was in Hairspray, I lived, slept, breathed that job 24/7. I didn't have room for anything else."

It's amazing to hear this from someone who is literally on my TV set every single day. From my point of view, she seems to be extending a mammoth amount of energy lighting up the screen and going from job to job at record pace.

"Broadway is 3 billion times harder than doing a TV show. If I twist my ankle, I'm out. If I don't sleep, I'm up with the baby, I lose my voice....I can't sing. The parents who do shows...I applaud them and I don't know how they do it."

But does she miss it? Or is it possible that being a Mommy and being on TV is enough for a genuine Broadway star?

"I absolutely struggle with it. I care....but in my mind I think it will be in a few years...This is the first time in 35 years that my career is not the most important thing to me. At the end of the day, Zev won't care what I did for a living. He's going to care if I was there for his fifth birthday. Being a mom is everything."

But will Marissa care?

"Being in a Broadway show is spiritual...out of body...when I'm rehearsing and singing for a benefit or something in LA, I remember ‘I like this! I'm good at this!‘ But then like five minutes later I start to think, ‘I have a playdate at 3! Or, ‘What is Zev eating?' It's really hard. And people do it. I know I'll be able to [go back to Broadway] eventually but right now, when I wake up with Zev in the middle of the night.....I can't imagine having all the energy you need to be a Broadway star."

I pointed out that this may come as disappointing news to all her fans here in New York. But she put my mind at ease.

"I genuinely cannot wait to come back to Broadway. My favorite experience has been closing night in Hairspray and Zev was literally on stage with me for the final curtain call. It made up for all the exhaustion...having your children be part of it...it's a community. It's different than TV and film. I really do miss that. So I have to figure out how to do both because I so desperately want to come back to New York and do a new show and be a part of that and for parents who are doing that, my hat goes off to them. It's hard without kids and then you add family into the mix...it's crazy."

Please check back next week to hear from Kerry Butler, star of the upcoming Catch Me If You Can and do-it-all Mom.

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