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NIKKIGLASER on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/NIKKIGLASER
3/1 @ 4:42 PM
NikkiGlaser - 2nd Swift embarrassment of the day: made eye contact w/my cab driver just as I was mouthing, "I can make the bad guys good for a weekend" ????

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3/1 @ 4:02 PM
NikkiGlaser - I've never felt less cool than when I just sincerely liked one of Taylor Swift's Instagram pics.

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3/1 @ 3:18 AM
NikkiGlaser - Did a bit about moms tonight. A lady screamed, "I'M A MOTHER!", got thrown out, bit the bouncer, and got arrested. ???? http://t.co/5oNznkRJBt

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3/1 @ 3:16 AM
NikkiGlaser - Did a but about moms tonight. A lady screamed, "I'M A MOTHER!" She got thrown out, bit the bouncer, & got arrested. ???? http://t.co/wo6fq5Bz48

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2/28 @ 2:02 AM
NikkiGlaser - Let's never stop talking about how Bill Cosby is a serial rapist. I'm serious.

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2/27 @ 6:27 PM
NikkiGlaser - #SanFrancisco 2 more nights of shows left at the @punchlinesf! Your presence makes shows better, unless you're a sloppy drunk or just mean.

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2/27 @ 4:59 PM
NikkiGlaser - Idea: The Interview 2, but with an all-female cast and Bill Cosby.

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2/27 @ 12:37 PM
NikkiGlaser - #RIPLeonardNimoy http://t.co/OifdWw4f8U

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2/26 @ 11:36 PM
NikkiGlaser - Bought a party tray at Safeway. People probs thought I was going to a cool hang. Then I ate it all backstage alone. http://t.co/qgbnAjuPe9

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2/26 @ 6:37 PM
NikkiGlaser - #SanFrancisco tonight, tomorrow, and the next day. Come! @punchlinesf

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2/26 @ 2:06 AM
NikkiGlaser - My friend @GregWarren had a fantastic set on The Late Late Show. If you don't know Greg's comedy, you should. http://t.co/ALEq3Wbxto

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2/25 @ 2:34 PM
NikkiGlaser - San Francisco tonight through Saturday with my pal @tomabrady! @punchlinesf

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2/25 @ 12:50 AM
NikkiGlaser - "will u dvr bachelor thnx" @midnight #RoommatesIn5Words

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2/25 @ 12:42 AM
NikkiGlaser - "Have you seen my headphones*?" #RoommatesIn5Words @midnight *"Did you steal my headphones?"

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2/24 @ 1:19 PM
NikkiGlaser - San Francisco! Tomorrow until Saturday! @punchlinesf

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2/23 @ 12:22 PM
NikkiGlaser - San Francisco! This weekend! @punchlinesf with my dear pal @tomabrady.

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2/22 @ 8:05 PM
NikkiGlaser - whO(S)CARes?

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2/22 @ 5:42 PM
NikkiGlaser - When's the Puppy Oscars?

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2/21 @ 10:41 AM
NikkiGlaser - Tonight! On @ComedyCentral! 11pm! You have to watch @1keithrobinson's special. I was at the taping. It was so fucking funny. Don't miss it.

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2/20 @ 5:27 PM
NikkiGlaser - Just saw a girl jogging outside in a denim vest. Nobody walks in LA, but they do shit like this.

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2/20 @ 4:50 PM
NikkiGlaser - Kanye, I'm concerned that you only took 30 showers in the TWO years between dating Amber Rose and Kim.

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2/20 @ 4:14 PM
NikkiGlaser - This old sketch of Harris' was always my favorite. He is young, sweet, hilarious, and silly. I love it. I'm so sad. https://t.co/Xj8vEWlXVY

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2/20 @ 2:59 AM
NikkiGlaser - Harris, we'll miss you.

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2/19 @ 1:47 AM
NikkiGlaser - labtop

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2/18 @ 8:29 PM
NikkiGlaser - And here's Whitney: http://t.co/u5Jl6UoonX #TheBachelor

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2/18 @ 8:29 PM
NikkiGlaser - If you're watching the Bachelor, here's my impression of Britt: http://t.co/IHQTZS3qqk

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2/18 @ 12:17 PM
NikkiGlaser - I can't believe these teens are murdering their friends for Adrien Brody. http://t.co/PF68akInCP

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2/16 @ 7:10 PM
NikkiGlaser - I spent all day in the Kanye singing position. #SNL40

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2/16 @ 2:43 PM
NikkiGlaser - Bravo @LastWeekTonight, for this piece on Phillip Moris International. Please watch and share! https://t.co/HLY5xlxvPS #JeffWeCan

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2/15 @ 6:14 PM
NikkiGlaser - Flight attndnt asked if 2 kids near me were mine. I said no but then the rest of the flight I stared at the mom like "bitch u stole my kids"

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2/15 @ 11:27 AM
NikkiGlaser - North West and I feel the same about fashion.

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2/13 @ 11:51 PM
NikkiGlaser - I watched some GREAT comedy tonight from @kurtbraunohler, @RealBenBailey, @JuddApatow & @geofftate96 (who fell in the snow). #WinterComedy

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2/13 @ 2:29 PM
NikkiGlaser - I hate when Fro yo places don't trust you to make your own samples. But since I even care, maybe I shouldn't be trusted.

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2/13 @ 9:29 AM
NikkiGlaser - Ahahhaha http://t.co/nJHwdBT5ir

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2/12 @ 6:42 PM
NikkiGlaser - Bob Simon's cab was parked in my neighborhood today. My cabbie & I pulled over, walked up to it, stared, then drove in silence across town.

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2/11 @ 4:27 PM
NikkiGlaser - Just got the first ultrasound pics of my IUD!!!

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2/11 @ 10:57 AM
NikkiGlaser - Michigan, San Fran, Denver, Phoenix, Calgary. I'm performing in these cities over the next month. Get it. http://t.co/j1BZuwJv53

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2/10 @ 10:43 PM
NikkiGlaser - I'm performing in Michigan this weekend with the best gd group o' comics. Fuck! http://t.co/y9QnmoEvXr

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2/9 @ 10:00 AM
NikkiGlaser - Hey Missouri, Alabama is cooler than you now. You're an embarrassment.

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2/8 @ 3:59 PM
NikkiGlaser - "Mall Sea Lions" should be a shitty band name, not an actual thing. Sign & RT this petition, please. It's so easy. https://t.co/fTA0DggaZl

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