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NIKKIGLASER on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/NIKKIGLASER
8/20 @ 5:32 PM
NikkiGlaser - The photo makes me uncomfortable for him. "Here, do something funny with this!" http://t.co/d9CQ6CmjLL

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8/20 @ 5:28 PM
NikkiGlaser - Connecticut, I will be at @ComixAtFoxwoods all weekend! I am out of clever ways to promote shows on here!

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8/19 @ 9:09 PM
NikkiGlaser - My therapist told me that no one is buying cereal anymore. I don't know what her point was, but it does make you think.

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8/18 @ 12:57 PM
NikkiGlaser - CT! I'm headlining @ComixAtFoxwoods this weekend. Thurs-sat! Come!

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8/18 @ 11:12 AM
NikkiGlaser - Lesson learned! Jesus. I'll never talk shit about tourists again.

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8/18 @ 11:01 AM
NikkiGlaser - Is there anything worse than a tourist?

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8/18 @ 8:07 AM
NikkiGlaser - I'm recording my podcast this afternoon. Call in and leave a message to get some dating/life advice. 347-467-1240. Thanks. #weknownothing

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8/18 @ 7:08 AM
NikkiGlaser - I will be on the @OandAshow in 20 mins. Sirius 206!

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8/17 @ 4:49 PM
NikkiGlaser - Life is a series of chargers.

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8/16 @ 11:15 PM
NikkiGlaser - Stop saying "pregame". You're 32.

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8/16 @ 4:00 PM
NikkiGlaser - I recently lost one of my best friends from high school due to her naming a pinterest board "Yummy Zerts!".

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8/16 @ 1:01 AM
NikkiGlaser - Getting second-hand drunk from my Instagram feed.

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8/15 @ 10:14 PM
NikkiGlaser - Does this make anyone else cringe like hearing nails on a chalk board?? http://t.co/6bavuupkrC

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8/15 @ 9:30 PM
NikkiGlaser - Just complimented a girl's tattoo and she seemed confused. Never assume someone has a tramp stamp.

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8/15 @ 7:14 PM
NikkiGlaser - So grateful Beyonce isn't funny.

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8/15 @ 4:25 PM
NikkiGlaser - NYC, I am at @TheStandNYC and @standupny all night if you're into that kind of thing.

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8/15 @ 3:45 PM
NikkiGlaser - I loathe this word. http://t.co/5MgDDrKUKR

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8/15 @ 1:03 PM
NikkiGlaser - A new ep of my podcast w/ @PhilMhanley and @anyamarina is up! https://t.co/ungUABU6pT

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8/15 @ 1:01 AM
NikkiGlaser - Taking an introvert quiz with @RachelFeinstein @amyschumer and @bridgeteverett!! ??????????

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8/14 @ 1:06 PM
NikkiGlaser - I lived w/ a bunch of millenials in North Hollywood for @ATT & @ComedyCentral. Here's proof. #CrashingCouches http://t.co/Xh6477NTSI

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8/11 @ 8:30 PM
NikkiGlaser - What an awful reminder that success isn't the key to happiness.

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8/11 @ 7:51 PM
NikkiGlaser - Depression is terrifying.

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8/11 @ 1:26 PM
NikkiGlaser - A man will never love you as much as he loves Norm Macdonald.

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8/10 @ 8:52 PM
NikkiGlaser - Trivago guy #TrueDetectiveSeason2

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8/10 @ 10:00 AM
NikkiGlaser - I just had the worst dream that you were telling me about your dream!

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8/10 @ 10:00 AM
NikkiGlaser - I just had the worst dream that you were telling me about you dream!

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8/10 @ 4:24 AM
NikkiGlaser - "I think you meant 'overshadowed'." http://t.co/tc5HMHHbqa

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8/9 @ 3:27 PM
NikkiGlaser - #yesallwomen http://t.co/uZT3SR2yMf

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8/9 @ 2:48 PM
NikkiGlaser - Tried to capture this guy wearing a "I have the dick, I make the rules" shirt but got scared bc I don't have a dick! http://t.co/lNcrGySUsJ

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8/9 @ 1:43 PM
NikkiGlaser - Chicago! Last two shows tonight at @zaniesrosemont! 8 & 10:30. Okay? Ok.

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8/9 @ 12:12 AM
NikkiGlaser - "I've come a long way." - a squirter

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8/8 @ 11:50 PM
NikkiGlaser - Chicago! Tomorrow night is our last night together at @zaniesrosemont! Come! 9 & 10:30!

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8/8 @ 5:51 PM
NikkiGlaser - Is a good reason to have a baby so that you can buy those cute lil tiny sneakers?

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8/8 @ 12:42 PM
NikkiGlaser - Hey Chicago, lookin good. http://t.co/nNcDl4ObbI

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8/8 @ 10:04 AM
NikkiGlaser - Dad, please stop liking a my Instagram pics at 2am.

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8/7 @ 8:49 PM
NikkiGlaser - One day you're 30 and you realize the song "Genie in a Bottle" is about getting fingered.

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8/7 @ 4:42 PM
NikkiGlaser - A modern technique to identify witches is if they have a straw sticking out of their hot Starbucks cup.

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8/7 @ 3:13 PM
NikkiGlaser - How do you empathy?

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8/7 @ 3:02 PM
NikkiGlaser - Chicago! I have a show tonight at 9:30 at Zanies Downtown. And then Rosemont the rest of the weekend. Please come!

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8/6 @ 1:33 PM
NikkiGlaser - Happy birthday to my dear friend @joederosacomedy. #sincerity

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