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DougBenson on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/DougBenson
5/27 @ 9:40 PM
DougBenson - Turn your tv to @ComedyCentral and leave it there until @Midnight. Thanks! https://t.co/VRkkJk80Hk

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5/27 @ 2:01 PM
DougBenson - I heard ratings weren't great for 500 QUESTIONS because the questions are too hard and so is the host.

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5/27 @ 12:29 PM
DougBenson - What would I be rolling off of? https://t.co/WApXhdgx6a

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5/27 @ 10:40 AM
DougBenson - Good morning! I wanna tell you guys about something I'm doing next week, but I can't. For now. But I will say this: I'M EXCITED!

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5/27 @ 1:58 AM
DougBenson - PROMOTIONAL TOOL, pre-order it, fool! (Sorry, you're not a fool.) https://t.co/x4RObMvVJZ

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5/26 @ 4:05 PM
DougBenson - Reasonable punishment! https://t.co/lavlzx2jqS

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5/26 @ 3:05 PM
DougBenson - Tiny art some girl gave me at #SasquatchFestival - thanks, some girl! http://t.co/JQA6L3hXdx

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5/26 @ 2:12 PM
DougBenson - Austin, TX! DOUG LOVES MOVIES returns to @CapCityComedy this Saturday at ten minutes after 4:20. Don't be late! https://t.co/ljTpjAYMpK

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5/26 @ 1:15 AM
DougBenson - Thanks to everyone who watched my set at @Sasquatch Festival. And for the post show sesh. #SquatchAndLearn

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5/25 @ 3:58 PM
DougBenson - I'm gonna get so high during "ME." https://t.co/bV8vJ1u7Ks

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5/25 @ 3:43 PM
DougBenson - I recorded a MINI yesterday but failed to post it until today. Check it out anyway! https://t.co/HwAgQdaVlj

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5/25 @ 2:05 PM
DougBenson - I guess Nicole Wallace's dress was censored because children are off from school today. http://t.co/PpCOJgJ0A7

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5/25 @ 1:49 PM
DougBenson - Nope, it's accurate. I've got something else I need to do at 4:20. https://t.co/THoO2LrRVZ

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5/25 @ 1:23 PM
DougBenson - My set today at #SasquatchFest is in the El Chupacabra tent at 5:05, but get there at 4:20 for @NickThune! #420Comedy #SquatchWhatHappens

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5/25 @ 11:58 AM
DougBenson - Only a promotional tool would ask you to pre-order a comedy album from iTunes on Memorial Day. So I won't. Happy Memorial Day everybody!

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5/25 @ 11:54 AM
DougBenson - NYC! DOUG LOVES MOVIES is at Irving Plaza on Tuesday June 9. Big room, big guests! #SchedulesPermitting http://t.co/GrqmTK48rx

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5/25 @ 9:13 AM
DougBenson - #102 ROCKET SCIENCE - Resolution: there's no stuttering in debate. #EightWordsOrLess #DLMChallenge #365Movies #365Days

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5/24 @ 8:52 PM
DougBenson - Yes! Instead, they've spent millions to convince us the whales are happy. Business is down and should stay there. https://t.co/qijsUevnzv

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5/24 @ 8:43 PM
DougBenson - It feels like #PointsMe is going to become the new LOL for people who need to point out they just made a joke. #PointsMe #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/24 @ 8:36 PM
DougBenson - Who wants to take this one? I'm not in an arguing mood. Ever. #ShutDownSeaWorld https://t.co/dFnLxkrQLM

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5/24 @ 3:16 PM
DougBenson - Ha. See you next Saturday, dude. @CapCityComedy https://t.co/ljTpjAYMpK https://t.co/t7SH4Mp2br

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5/24 @ 11:32 AM
DougBenson - MY WIFE! https://t.co/qOgejpY3kG

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5/24 @ 11:32 AM
DougBenson - Sasquatchers! My set at #SasquatchFest is tomorrow at 5pm in the tent they call El Chupacabra. Come by to get out of the sun and nap! #squat

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5/24 @ 11:25 AM
DougBenson - Good morning! Excited to see @jennylewis and @ronfunches today at @Sasquatch Music Festival in the gorgeous gorge in Quincy, WA. #Sasquatch

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5/23 @ 9:36 PM
DougBenson - Hey #SasquatchFest, I'm gonna have a backpack w/ copies of my last album to give away. Just approach me and say "Sweet Sasquatch backpack!"

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5/23 @ 7:58 PM
DougBenson - "Every woman has a rape fantasy. And that fantasy is...to not get raped." -@cameronesposito at #sasquatch2015

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5/23 @ 6:55 PM
DougBenson - Please dance like someone is watching. #MakeAnEffort #sasquatch2015

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5/23 @ 5:40 PM
DougBenson - Is there a better time than a three day weekend to pre-order my new cd PROMOTIONAL TOOL? Probably! https://t.co/x4RObMvVJZ #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 12:14 PM
DougBenson - Sorry for all the #ShutDownSeaWorld tweets this morning. I'll change it up now. Let's #ShutDownScientology as well! #ScientologyCanSuckIt

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5/23 @ 12:08 PM
DougBenson - #101 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD - He's more disgruntled than mad, in my opinion. #EightWordsOrLess #DLMChallenge #365Movies #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 11:52 AM
DougBenson - Saw BLACKFISH a few years ago, but saw rebuttal @SeaWorld ad on VH1 this morn. Shame on you #VH1. #ShutDownSeaWorld https://t.co/QOyI4NnV2X

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5/23 @ 11:31 AM
DougBenson - Too bad #SasquatchFest takes place in such an ugly setting! #ShutDownSeaWorld https://t.co/N2dGJujTTu

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5/23 @ 11:01 AM
DougBenson - Marriage for all in Ireland? The stage is set for a LEAP YEAR re-make! But this time she ends up with a woman. AMY ADAMS! #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 10:45 AM
DougBenson - Be sure to let me know if you don't think @SeaWorld should be run out of business, because then I can block your dumb ass. #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 10:25 AM
DougBenson - And you sound like you studied at the Asshole Academy. @SeaWorld "saves" sea animals so they can exploit them for $. https://t.co/LvzVwEbT5Z

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5/23 @ 10:07 AM
DougBenson - No whales were held against their will during the making of PROMOTIONAL TOOL. So pre-order it now! https://t.co/x4RObMvVJZ #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 9:58 AM
DougBenson - Happy birthday, @DrewFromTV! When blowing out the candles on your cake, be sure to make a wish to shut down @SeaWorld. #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 9:53 AM
DougBenson - Yeah, Nick, I hate when people do that. You know what else I hate? @SeaWorld #ShutDownSeaWorld https://t.co/BShyJlHd8w

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5/23 @ 9:43 AM
DougBenson - Oh wait, so whales you have now have been IN YOUR PRISON THEIR ENTIRE LIVES? You should change your name to Oz, @SeaWorld. #ShutDownSeaWorld

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5/23 @ 9:42 AM
DougBenson - .@SeaWorld says they haven't captured a whale in 35 years. Where are you getting them then, a pet store? Or were they grown on a whale farm?

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