ASK A TRAINER: 'My Boyfriend Wants Me To Lose Weight'
Hello everyone. One might think that this particualr question would be better directed at Dr. Phil than at yours truly. But since, Dr. Phil has tried to enter the health and fitness arena with those horrible meal bars, I thought I'd take a stab at trying something that falls under his jurisdiction.
"When I first met my boyfriend I was in the best shape of my life. I was dancing in a Broadway show eight times a week and hitting the gym three to four times a week on top of that. The show closed and then I had to have surgery on my foot and I ended up gaining like 15 pounds. Now my foot has healed and I want to start exercising again. I can tell my boyfriend really wants me to lose the weight. He doesn't come right out and say it but he makes little jokes about it and I can tell that he means it at least on some level. He takes really good care of himself and I feel like I'm letting him down. I want to get back to where I was when we started dating. I don't want to sound conceited but I was pretty hot. What do you think I should tell him in the meantime?"- C., New York, NY
What should you tell him? Tell him he's being a jerk. Sorry. That was my visceral reaction when I first read this email. Unfortunately, this situation isn't exactly an anomoly. I have witnessed it firsthand. I have a male friend that was an athlete in high school and college. He married his college sweetheart, a lovely woman that loves him deeply and really does want what is best for him. My friend runs his own business and he and his wife have twins. His life is busy and as such he isn't in the kind of shape he was in when we were in college together.
His wife is constantly referencing his gut in front of me. She'll do it "playfully." She'll tap it, she'll compare his stomach to mine, ask him when he's going to start training with me. It's all done under the guise of kidding around but I know my friend's current physical state legitimately bothers her and she would like her teasing to result in my friend getting back into a workout program. But that isn't what happens when she starts teasing my buddy. It just becomes uncomfortable for anyone in the room, it makes her look bad, and as of yet it has not inspired my friend to get back to the gym. In fact, the more she prods the less likely he will be to ever set foot in a gym again. On some level, it's his own little act of rebellion against her "joking."