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9/3 @ 12:00 AM
TheOnion - Mayor Hits On Crazy Idea Of Developing City’s Waterfront, Green Spaces http://t.co/VSOcD4gTse

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9/2 @ 10:30 PM
TheOnion - Report: This Just The 30th Wake-Up Call Woman Needed http://t.co/wo3l2DGASb

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9/2 @ 9:00 PM
TheOnion - The Classroom Of The Future http://t.co/jdXlMx4rsF http://t.co/l9SeHQGzv2

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9/2 @ 7:00 PM
TheOnion - New Study Finds Link Between Breastfeeding, Always Knowing What’s Right For Everyone http://t.co/gooLk8jZxC http://t.co/4ecFLpbYJi

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9/2 @ 5:26 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Study: Married Couples Who Smoke Marijuana Have Fewer Fights http://t.co/daOcHuSiPh #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/2 @ 4:31 PM
TheOnion - Towels Across Water Park Lounge Chairs Mark Family’s Ironclad Claim http://t.co/FwMSGGezVC http://t.co/5R8ZqBG5uF

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9/2 @ 3:53 PM
TheOnion - Mayor Hits On Crazy Idea Of Developing City’s Waterfront, Green Spaces http://t.co/J76CWoo7VI http://t.co/8yPXT3pnhj

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9/2 @ 3:09 PM
TheOnion - There is a stone where our soul once was. Enjoy this #sponsored content http://t.co/qmmVEbg9kJ

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9/2 @ 2:24 PM
TheOnion - Report: This Just The 30th Wake-Up Call Woman Needed http://t.co/bHopGkJUag http://t.co/J92sKQZokD

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9/2 @ 1:20 PM
TheOnion - Here is a glimpse at what the classroom of the future will look like: http://t.co/xkctz7F7UP http://t.co/HhFmMaWtgI

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9/2 @ 1:01 PM
TheOnion - In The News: http://t.co/pum5kJuDuN http://t.co/SWOp0ah3FC

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9/2 @ 12:44 PM
TheOnion - New Study Finds Link Between Breastfeeding, Always Knowing What’s Right For Everyone http://t.co/TlZIrFVQx4 http://t.co/ktRbwYHlS3

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9/2 @ 11:34 AM
TheOnion - Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 2, 2014 http://t.co/AYFhxKtkeE http://t.co/oMlDrAj1LD

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9/2 @ 10:43 AM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Dogs Get Separation Anxiety When Kids Leave For School http://t.co/LoHTV4r7ju #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/2 @ 10:08 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Coworkers Nationwide Embrace Tearfully After Painful 3-Day Separation http://t.co/eJdY90VFzx http://t.co/85NZSQUIGj

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9/2 @ 9:35 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Waitstaff Tired Of Sleeping With Each Other http://t.co/Idl2LurV6p

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9/1 @ 8:00 PM
TheOnion - Secretary Of Interior Says Knocking Down Mountain Range Could Really Open Nation Up http://t.co/y73q3E46qx http://t.co/v4ypbbOvZk

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9/1 @ 5:45 PM
TheOnion - Students who won’t bother saying goodbye to their stepdad before leaving: 37% http://t.co/2jX8M7Rtht http://t.co/ETZBDnUTAZ

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9/1 @ 4:15 PM
TheOnion - Koch Brothers Encouraging Youth To Make Voices Heard By Registering Super PAC http://t.co/Zma8F6jBzS

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9/1 @ 3:15 PM
TheOnion - There is a stone where our soul once was. Enjoy this #sponsored content http://t.co/6oyDkvA9qD

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9/1 @ 2:45 PM
TheOnion - In Focus: Senate Allocates $460 Billion For Big Labor Day Sales http://t.co/FuEyCiugW4

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9/1 @ 2:15 PM
TheOnion - In Politics: Eclipse Comes Just In Time To Save John Kerry From Tribe Of Island Cannibals http://t.co/FAWUo0tHzK

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9/1 @ 1:01 PM
TheOnion - Study Finds All-Consuming Self-Pity Best Way To Win Back Ex-Partner http://t.co/T11CiWI2WH

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9/1 @ 12:15 PM
TheOnion - In Focus | True A.R. Bruthas Don't Take No Layba Day Off http://t.co/vJM0RbCmi3

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9/1 @ 11:45 AM
TheOnion - #SPONSORED: Are you an impressionable, simpleminded consumer easily swayed by shameless advertising? Good! http://t.co/PFcGI4yJ9i

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9/1 @ 11:30 AM
TheOnion - Housefly Drops Everything To Go Stand On Watermelon Slice http://t.co/VqF4HQDa9o http://t.co/PY6ll4Qa1k

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9/1 @ 11:15 AM
TheOnion - Editorial Cartoon: 'Enhanced Solicitation Techniques' http://t.co/k33A45pVpU http://t.co/91djOu3QgE

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9/1 @ 10:45 AM
TheOnion - The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 1, 2014 http://t.co/LNGdQ6EPNw http://t.co/weq258mAA1

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9/1 @ 9:45 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Americans Take Day Off From Looking For Work http://t.co/pukfwiDhVo http://t.co/g0bMU5tpjF

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8/31 @ 7:30 PM
TheOnion - Top Story: FBI Raids Kennedy Fundamentalist Compound http://t.co/rQYtyLGsfD http://t.co/SJtsvfE6Z2

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8/31 @ 5:30 PM
TheOnion - Top Story: Michael Brown Audiotapes Conclusively Reveal Exactly What You Want Them To http://t.co/AhufFUTcTP

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8/31 @ 4:15 PM
TheOnion - In Politics: Elderly Lobbyist Always Droning On About How Little Legislation Cost In His Day http://t.co/kcV8WX4LqZ http://t.co/8ALJTl6NNq

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8/31 @ 3:00 PM
TheOnion - In Local News: Middle-Aged Man Having Best Snacks Of His Life http://t.co/QV7Ofc36N8 http://t.co/j7YeoAc9Kx

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8/31 @ 1:45 PM
TheOnion - In Commentary This Week: http://t.co/SaNdfWQgGQ http://t.co/iBpTcSfOLV

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8/31 @ 12:30 PM
TheOnion - TIP: Train your child for the classroom by crating them seven hours a day http://t.co/0kUUkjrQ3x http://t.co/dA7YnXI5ap

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8/31 @ 11:15 AM
TheOnion - This Week Last Year: 9 Things Introverts Do All The Time http://t.co/iiN5rDvWZI http://t.co/7lXdbdYFz3

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8/31 @ 10:00 AM
TheOnion - Editorial Cartoon: 'Daddy Issues' http://t.co/epYCa50EeD http://t.co/ngBzg8V79v

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8/30 @ 7:15 PM
TheOnion - 'Active Shooter At Large,' Reports Endless Background Hum Of Modern American Life http://t.co/muYPWUwuZ1

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8/30 @ 6:00 PM
TheOnion - In Local News: Source Of Jealousy Not Even That Successful http://t.co/4vDosWZDbr http://t.co/gXH7AWFBw6

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8/30 @ 4:30 PM
TheOnion - Top Story: L'Oréal Releases Line Of Makeup Specifically For Men To Wear When Wives Not Home http://t.co/RTQI9p4Xqc http://t.co/JUMuk5Ij1Q

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