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3/21 @ 11:02 PM
TheOnion - Pathetic Excuse For Man Paid Same Wage As Female Counterpart https://t.co/81ObGWvRXY https://t.co/XfCsaqJUJ6

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3/21 @ 10:45 PM
TheOnion - Visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed for the latest from the most influential media empire human civilization has ever seen https://t.co/lEaWq8rUuo

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3/21 @ 9:56 PM
TheOnion - Man Who Stopped Dieting Already Seeing Results https://t.co/PGXDxJ2WmO https://t.co/R0gxHGNxsS

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3/21 @ 8:41 PM
TheOnion - Pope Francis Trains For Easter Mass By Dragging Pew Loaded With Rocks Across Snow https://t.co/xwXTS7TZZR https://t.co/LZ3jSjw8zm

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3/21 @ 8:00 PM
TheOnion - Study: 89 Percent Of Networking Nonconsensual https://t.co/7TIW513i6C https://t.co/j5vg6VuXup

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3/21 @ 5:29 PM
TheOnion - God Shoots Himself While Cleaning Gun https://t.co/OX6GetrNpI https://t.co/azU9KVh7Ur

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3/21 @ 5:21 PM
TheOnion - How To Care For Your Car https://t.co/yOJSrYF4LW

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3/21 @ 4:40 PM
TheOnion - Wave Of Dread Makes Rare Daytime Appearance https://t.co/GsDcQZ7MJb https://t.co/vgerRiMh63

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3/21 @ 4:00 PM
TheOnion - A Timeline Of U.S.–Cuba Relations https://t.co/rBdhtfEaGX https://t.co/CDrGnL4YaI

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3/21 @ 3:34 PM
TheOnion - China Recovering From Deforestation https://t.co/dJgMViQZbu #WhatDoYouThink?

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3/21 @ 2:59 PM
TheOnion - Our relations with our partners remain more beautiful than anything you'll ever experience. https://t.co/WhB9zNDFjX https://t.co/DsHbxHrJUn

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3/21 @ 2:00 PM
TheOnion - Mom Sits Down For Dinner 3 Months After Rest Of Family Finishes Meal https://t.co/iUsx1sVV9T https://t.co/UU766SEo0S

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3/21 @ 1:00 PM
TheOnion - How To Cope With Getting Fired https://t.co/N85yGgcKzA https://t.co/5jmLH45CQK

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3/21 @ 12:30 PM
TheOnion - Editorial Cartoon: 'Havana Good Time?' https://t.co/ZbMXIjWt7e https://t.co/MRSOvYBZ8u

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3/21 @ 11:58 AM
TheOnion - Man Basks In Triumphant Glory After Purchases Line Up To Exact Value Of Gift Card https://t.co/hc3p4UvftV https://t.co/WUW4OQuKME

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3/21 @ 11:18 AM
TheOnion - Nate Silver Defends Torture Methods Used To Make Election Projections https://t.co/q7Gy3xBKBn https://t.co/4N9CbZFNuK

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3/21 @ 10:48 AM
TheOnion - Salmon Fillets Contaminated With Cocaine https://t.co/BIhnrkA1Ka #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/kFrWXaXcaW

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3/21 @ 10:20 AM
TheOnion - The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 21, 2016 https://t.co/NQPlEQZpOA https://t.co/uItx9EKYCZ

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3/21 @ 9:45 AM
TheOnion - Coworker Running NCAA Tournament Pool Really Relishing His One Week Of Significance https://t.co/O6tXjUYEN4 https://t.co/r92Xv2YiLz

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3/21 @ 9:02 AM
TheOnion - Strange New Culture Forming On Other End Of Office https://t.co/YhUfAs91j4 https://t.co/dRF0k1IehS

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3/21 @ 8:11 AM
TheOnion - Man Pinned Under Blankets For Three Days https://t.co/AR6QIuT4xS

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3/19 @ 7:03 PM
TheOnion - City Opens New Art Jailhttp://onion.com/1Ucjn7j https://t.co/RN7dT3Oomk

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3/19 @ 5:01 PM
TheOnion - Sanders Impresses Florida Voters By Jumping From Hotel Balcony Into Pool https://t.co/kW8z7CvoMv https://t.co/6BkXgLnVQm

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3/19 @ 3:24 PM
TheOnion - Poll: Ted Cruz Currently Leads Among Voters Disputing Boundaries Of Neighbor’s Yard https://t.co/o5eBUxa9qI https://t.co/eIq7ZqWdQX

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3/19 @ 2:51 PM
TheOnion - New Report Reveals Kentucky Seniors Forced To Endure Brutal Hazing From Freshman Players https://t.co/d7qiqZ0EEr https://t.co/Zadqx0HHAs

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3/19 @ 2:26 PM
TheOnion - God Hurting After Eating 20-Piece Spicy Angel Wings https://t.co/srC11X6lCd https://t.co/XTmT7GqkHI

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3/19 @ 1:31 PM
TheOnion - Resourceful Man Able To Cobble Together Bad Mood From Handful Of Minor Annoyances https://t.co/KS7C1IA9V6 https://t.co/0PRdMEIXqx

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3/19 @ 12:26 PM
TheOnion - This Week Last Year: Biden Worries Legalized Weed In D.C. Will Cut Into His Business https://t.co/2h4vUd6DOK https://t.co/onQIF3qDz7

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3/19 @ 11:44 AM
TheOnion - "You will not be able to decide which is more arousing, the roses or my personal scent." https://t.co/XSyO7e5xCl https://t.co/6MxfvqEkD7

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3/19 @ 11:02 AM
TheOnion - Hillary Clinton Appears Before Rally Completely Nude In Bid For Authenticity https://t.co/FDuKL1Fwv3 https://t.co/0XAOcQLG4A

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3/19 @ 10:00 AM
TheOnion - New Evidence Suggests Early Humans First Used Fire To Impress Friends https://t.co/oHU7m96MUP https://t.co/lf98Az0xUl

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3/18 @ 11:29 PM
TheOnion - Obama Receives Classified Briefing On Likelihood Of ‘Krull’ Reboot https://t.co/lXlLeSioba https://t.co/oaK4KR1AKJ

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3/18 @ 10:25 PM
TheOnion - Teen Mortified After Winning Academic-Achievement Award https://t.co/epphj3PkMs https://t.co/ySbRs2gIRi

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3/18 @ 9:28 PM
TheOnion - Head Of IRS Has Personal Filing System To Keep Track Of Nation’s Tax Returns https://t.co/i51OKmvUF8 https://t.co/vl5Va5yp2o

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3/18 @ 8:29 PM
TheOnion - Shitty Zoo Promoting Hell Out Of New Fruit Bat https://t.co/dMso8ppNZX https://t.co/95e1x1CYaQ

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3/18 @ 6:29 PM
TheOnion - For more world-renowned reportage, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/eKfpoglJho

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3/18 @ 5:00 PM
TheOnion - Alabama Textbooks Call Evolution A ‘Controversial Theory’ https://t.co/GXiSAdL88r #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/bpawDkXDAz

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3/18 @ 4:30 PM
TheOnion - Area Man Makes It Through Day https://t.co/iVsj6Q1fHs https://t.co/UgjMryrDtG

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3/18 @ 3:34 PM
TheOnion - Exuberant Trump Rally Crowd Bats Syrian Refugee Child Around Arena Before Candidate Comes On Stage https://t.co/BbTx8jfLxm

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3/18 @ 2:51 PM
TheOnion - Hillary Clinton Pleasantly Surprised After Finding Old $20,000 Donation Check In Coat Pocket https://t.co/V6GmU0wxy9 https://t.co/kgHfHPgVuI

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