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12/2 @ 11:30 PM
TheOnion - Pit Of Komodo Dragons Shocked To Discover Billionaire Who Owns Them Is Just 26 https://t.co/cfh8novwo2 https://t.co/dFNcWmZKG7

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12/2 @ 9:46 PM
TheOnion - Dancing 7-Year-Old Looks To Expand Fan Base From Parents To Parents’ Friends https://t.co/ecCAOeWxy5 https://t.co/O4h6jztHQy

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12/2 @ 9:15 PM
TheOnion - Empty ‘About Us’ Page Leaves Chinese Buffet’s Origins Shrouded In Mystery https://t.co/Epy8pf6jD9 https://t.co/rel2WKoZIi

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12/2 @ 8:29 PM
TheOnion - Dog Not Sure It Ready To Tackle Whatever Happened To Man At Work Today https://t.co/1F5bivdZPP https://t.co/d0mPYkzeG4

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12/2 @ 8:06 PM
TheOnion - "You’d have to be an idiot not to use them,” said defensive coordinator Brent Pry. https://t.co/mpnlB9BPnj https://t.co/MoU10s7Qt6

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12/2 @ 7:45 PM
TheOnion - ‘Rocky’ Turns 40 https://t.co/Ojvqz5yZsh #WhatDoyouThink? https://t.co/Xp7wln9Ijt

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12/2 @ 7:10 PM
TheOnion - In today's news: Ruth Bader Ginsburg, song lyrics, and Christmas lights https://t.co/6oiCktgCeV

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12/2 @ 6:54 PM
TheOnion - For more world-renowned reportage, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/augTuGcbYP

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12/2 @ 6:01 PM
TheOnion - Real Estate Terms To Know https://t.co/o3opaZKjBi https://t.co/KUW6MgT0rS

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12/2 @ 5:41 PM
TheOnion - Broken Ornament Relegated To Lonely Existence On Side Of Tree Facing Wall https://t.co/UHlwWWWEco https://t.co/UWSeSK3dNC

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12/2 @ 3:41 PM
TheOnion - Reason Man Turning To Religion Later In Life Must Be Horrifying https://t.co/0m9SsEhniY https://t.co/N8er4yFk3x

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12/2 @ 3:02 PM
TheOnion - Channel all of your deep-seated resentment toward corporate America into repeatedly clicking this link.… https://t.co/uKu8sLb1Kd

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12/2 @ 2:37 PM
TheOnion - 5 Things To Know About James Mattis https://t.co/JFtY6nymHR

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12/2 @ 2:12 PM
TheOnion - Man Who Baked Banana Bread Spends Entire Party Anxiously Watching It Go Uneaten https://t.co/FGS8NP6fbC https://t.co/LjlnqzHGrb

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12/2 @ 1:00 PM
TheOnion - What Smoking A Cigarette Does To The Body https://t.co/L62aXet0RY

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12/2 @ 12:21 PM
TheOnion - Ruth Bader Ginsburg Debating Whether To Cancel Winter Vacation Climbing K2 https://t.co/hm6Q9iYN3X https://t.co/1oD4hsQlCe

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12/2 @ 11:41 AM
TheOnion - How To Stay Politically Active After The Election https://t.co/p10tLX93ru https://t.co/KxBVkMkOdu

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12/2 @ 11:05 AM
TheOnion - Reddit Cracks Down On ‘Toxic’ Users https://t.co/o4KRGF7Hbg #WhatDoyouThink? https://t.co/1HQ1DZ1wss

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12/2 @ 10:36 AM
TheOnion - Halloween Decorations Blending In Nicely With Christmas Lights https://t.co/ez7H1g7oP2 https://t.co/GGLDeUzR3d

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12/2 @ 9:46 AM
TheOnion - Man Confidently Hits ‘Send’ On Worst Job Application Company Has Ever Seen https://t.co/CvzHw9hyl0 https://t.co/wjuTZkQkvg

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12/2 @ 9:03 AM
TheOnion - Dunbar Family Forced To Discontinue Print Edition Of Christmas Newsletter https://t.co/YDC89EX665 https://t.co/6hZ5ykL10h

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12/2 @ 8:04 AM
TheOnion - New Report Shows Many U.S. Businesses Actually Just Fronts For Moneymaking Operations https://t.co/qZkvycCPH7 https://t.co/l8A1S6J3O9

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12/1 @ 11:06 PM
TheOnion - Algebra Notebook Forced To Bear The Brunt Of Teen’s Song Lyrics https://t.co/Yet0uhOFuE https://t.co/TKXHPtoZ1Q

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12/1 @ 9:34 PM
TheOnion - Man Doesn’t Know How Parents Ever Going To Pay Off Massive Student Loan Debt https://t.co/A1u67Lfmhw https://t.co/6xAer735bF

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12/1 @ 8:04 PM
TheOnion - NYPD Lets Suspicious Man Go After Only Finding ‘Catcher In The Rye’ In Backpack https://t.co/IGIwR9yHFA https://t.co/1vm2jQN9Z2

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12/1 @ 6:45 PM
TheOnion - In today's news: Cancer research, Christmas gifts, and a career change https://t.co/Zve7MxENEl

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12/1 @ 5:49 PM
TheOnion - National News Highlights: https://t.co/ZZL9A3ZW7Q

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12/1 @ 5:09 PM
TheOnion - PTSD Treated With Ecstasy https://t.co/QbiVb5WEtQ #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/xU1JOH5DCr

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12/1 @ 4:20 PM
TheOnion - 5 Things To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline https://t.co/CPkXm0EFfx

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12/1 @ 3:49 PM
TheOnion - Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises? https://t.co/OMMq5k6Xvf https://t.co/Shd8tZBdz1

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12/1 @ 2:19 PM
TheOnion - Mom Wants One Of Those Things Your Sister Has For Christmas https://t.co/gqAV9rwL9g https://t.co/hEQlHLgc61

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12/1 @ 1:54 PM
TheOnion - Visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed to see more from the standard bearer of global journalism. https://t.co/eDqmy8XYEJ

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12/1 @ 12:49 PM
TheOnion - Facebook User Verifies Truth Of Article By Carefully Checking It Against Own Preconceived Opinions… https://t.co/f2vKqKVirB

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12/1 @ 12:04 PM
TheOnion - Tips For Reducing Your Screen Time https://t.co/YdQwIB9ZGU

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12/1 @ 11:19 AM
TheOnion - Religion Triggers Brain’s Reward Centers https://t.co/drwa4cZ7fl #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/KtNbexQTtd

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12/1 @ 10:36 AM
TheOnion - Cancer Researchers: ‘Don’t Get Cancer’ https://t.co/FKiwMgljIn https://t.co/2afhWdekfx

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12/1 @ 9:51 AM
TheOnion - Michelle Obama Throws Out A Bunch Of Barack’s Old Number 44 Jerseys https://t.co/8OCoGjtxoM https://t.co/rK4t71PAJC

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12/1 @ 9:04 AM
TheOnion - Sad 38-Year-Old Googles 'Jobs Caring For Baby Animals' https://t.co/yvusosnekR https://t.co/v8u2Q1jy72

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12/1 @ 8:06 AM
TheOnion - Consumer Entering That Awkward Age Between Target Demographics https://t.co/N5Jgy2cCNj https://t.co/Elt6XJXy8i

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