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10/22 @ 10:10 PM
TheOnion - New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler http://t.co/kDiPwBZ8nx http://t.co/AFGZyAXFHe

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10/22 @ 9:10 PM
TheOnion - Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last http://t.co/NRcgFcweF9

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10/22 @ 8:10 PM
TheOnion - Cake Left Out In Break Room With No Instructions http://t.co/74VNGoYmOt http://t.co/L8hK0IFG7Y

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10/22 @ 7:10 PM
TheOnion - Midterm Candidates Distancing Selves From United States http://t.co/RAyQe3VwRT

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10/22 @ 6:12 PM
TheOnion - Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine http://t.co/yZ1i3Hqn1b http://t.co/LbN7TeQ3XS

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10/22 @ 5:38 PM
TheOnion - Here are some tips for finding the right doctor: http://t.co/fxKTa1gEhj http://t.co/rRB4Y6QdEO

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10/22 @ 5:02 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Toys ‘R’ Us Pulls ‘Breaking Bad’ Action Figures From Shelves http://t.co/oCw6SwvUnl #WhatDoYouThink?

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10/22 @ 4:21 PM
TheOnion - Pueblo Indians Can’t Keep Pace With Area Mom’s Appetite For Earthenware http://t.co/YffXD3LVjS http://t.co/H0TDx3p0aF

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10/22 @ 3:48 PM
TheOnion - Area Man Released After Being Wrongfully Employed For 9 Years http://t.co/M3zmweQ4dE http://t.co/sJyCUSoByq

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10/22 @ 3:03 PM
TheOnion - New Census Study Finds That 40% Of U.S. Population Is Filler http://t.co/UCtYOPqpPl http://t.co/hzh93LER5B

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10/22 @ 2:20 PM
TheOnion - If you never click this link to our sponsor’s content, you’ll never know if it’s shameful, embarrassing or both http://t.co/RqQmCT2A0w #SPON

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10/22 @ 1:53 PM
TheOnion - Second-Grader Likes To Save Purple Pills For Last http://t.co/zpFFbb6XAA http://t.co/0Es3NTKkiC

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10/22 @ 1:32 PM
TheOnion - Reports indicate that the cake definitely isn’t big enough for the entire office http://t.co/z2wfmA0P0F http://t.co/6nFE5HKXAg

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10/22 @ 1:23 PM
TheOnion - Cake Left Out In Break Room With No Instructions http://t.co/dmdSjZoH0s

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10/22 @ 12:51 PM
TheOnion - Midterm Candidates Distancing Selves From United States http://t.co/fsJ9ZRVRuM http://t.co/QnANIIckWi

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10/22 @ 12:24 PM
TheOnion - In Focus: Johnny Depp Now Completely Made Of Scarves And Bracelets http://t.co/dui3yxOwWa http://t.co/hwxXOFFjT5

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10/22 @ 12:04 PM
TheOnion - Man’s Whole Job Undoing Handiwork Of Self-Checkout Machine http://t.co/txcOECDA5g http://t.co/Vhf7LopBsc

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10/22 @ 11:37 AM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Facebook To Test Jet-Sized Wi-Fi Drones By 2015 http://t.co/sH3J6aR63M #WhatDoYouThink?

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10/22 @ 11:08 AM
TheOnion - First, ask yourself what your goals are when you see a doctor. Do you want to live, or die? http://t.co/kr7pAyVTqO http://t.co/jLboW83iIb

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10/22 @ 9:39 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Man Appalled At Date Who Lied Slightly More Than Him On Online Dating Profile http://t.co/8crAOl8o6t http://t.co/UPRDXXTChy

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10/21 @ 11:30 PM
TheOnion - Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky http://t.co/pqxMpEbL98 http://t.co/CUWQjz1CUE

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10/21 @ 10:30 PM
TheOnion - Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper http://t.co/1NpH8U2OrX http://t.co/Jhz6a5Lpa2

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10/21 @ 9:30 PM
TheOnion - Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO http://t.co/IOzAsnZXxQ http://t.co/HALOTWUBTy

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10/21 @ 8:30 PM
TheOnion - New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign http://t.co/B1vsHWkx0R http://t.co/DRpKjCGc11

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10/21 @ 7:50 PM
TheOnion - Bud Selig Awoken From Cryosleep In Time For World Series http://t.co/G5gQn0M7fJ http://t.co/g4dnpFSMh4

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10/21 @ 7:15 PM
TheOnion - "You wouldn’t scare Abbott and Costello with these ham-fisted ostentations." http://t.co/QddOW4Ka2p http://t.co/Amxgw3qKXr

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10/21 @ 6:46 PM
TheOnion - ONN Exclusive: One-On-One Interview With God http://t.co/r6A686c8EG http://t.co/eR2dTn2GrC

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10/21 @ 6:13 PM
TheOnion - On the latest #ToughSeason, the fantasy football matchup of the year is here: http://t.co/GbhXEfWsNd #SPON http://t.co/NU8rYPNgw4

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10/21 @ 6:07 PM
TheOnion - Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman http://t.co/xdga7ZMQTW http://t.co/f10IbQHtSk

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10/21 @ 4:51 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Led Zeppelin Accused Of Plagiarizing ‘Stairway To Heaven’ http://t.co/3ZXFIj7PFO #WhatDoYouThink?

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10/21 @ 3:57 PM
TheOnion - In Focus: "I'll be honest, I'm not 22 anymore. I got responsibilities." http://t.co/2OhTMTpzmw http://t.co/pQ8tij3lNU

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10/21 @ 3:46 PM
TheOnion - Behold the terrific beast: part original content, part corporate bile, part reader shame. See the monster here! http://t.co/S17MWPazuP #SPON

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10/21 @ 3:02 PM
TheOnion - Astronomers Celebrate 300th Anniversary Of Discovering Sky http://t.co/ftJExT3dcp http://t.co/x6ZpJtRXXi

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10/21 @ 2:36 PM
TheOnion - Flu Clinic Selling 2009 Version Of Vaccine For A Few Bucks Cheaper http://t.co/nARbhQWgSZ http://t.co/IwLfhp9XPc

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10/21 @ 2:13 PM
TheOnion - Moronic Mailroom Worker Worked Way Down From CEO http://t.co/jEJ5O3WdrU http://t.co/EG3FXBYZPA

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10/21 @ 1:47 PM
TheOnion - New Election Ruling Allows Candidates To Remain Completely Anonymous Throughout Campaign http://t.co/V0VJKrsbNi http://t.co/msHJ6Kj4C4

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10/21 @ 1:14 PM
TheOnion - "I am horrified, and not in a good way." http://t.co/vLqDcAttiv http://t.co/ffDoTcya54

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10/21 @ 12:51 PM
TheOnion - ONN Exclusive: A One-On-One Interview With God http://t.co/GIdBTLZJ9i http://t.co/xps3bLenH3

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10/21 @ 12:22 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Funeral Home Offering Drive-Thru Open Casket Lane http://t.co/oCfLHuUXXM #WhatDoYouThink?

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10/21 @ 12:10 PM
TheOnion - #Sponsored: Read The Onion's special coverage on breakfast, brought to you by Chobani: http://t.co/bY1cvDg3ky

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