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8/24 @ 11:15 PM
TheOnion - Man Who Stopped Dieting Already Seeing Results https://t.co/RhzUZjtPBH https://t.co/CTkq3PKfsm

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8/24 @ 9:45 PM
TheOnion - Woman Probably Just Made Up Rape Story In Order To Get Threatening Emails https://t.co/YzKCkwKzdl https://t.co/JOi2vLNoeo

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8/24 @ 6:25 PM
TheOnion - Perky Optimist Brings Joy Everywhere She Leaves https://t.co/MVhqMol32T https://t.co/GfbfCovWMS

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8/24 @ 5:28 PM
TheOnion - Forbes Names Jennifer Lawrence Highest Paid Actress https://t.co/2Pq4j3Gj1v #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/N4sW7RqpsC

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8/24 @ 4:45 PM
TheOnion - Grandmother Palms Grandson $10 Like She Fixing Boxing Match https://t.co/CW8SKuFNa5 https://t.co/sprx51q6w5

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8/24 @ 4:03 PM
TheOnion - Iconic Figures In '80s Culture https://t.co/OScMCLtAoN https://t.co/Q9WuOv3lgD

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8/24 @ 3:30 PM
TheOnion - Man Entirely Different Misogynist Online Than In Real Life https://t.co/j0U3zOJchU https://t.co/HzNg34fcvm

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8/24 @ 1:47 PM
TheOnion - Styrofoam Clamshell Hiding Exquisite Pearl Of Pulled Pork Sandwich https://t.co/fMerZA3kBh https://t.co/wsgvRbfbLl

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8/24 @ 12:41 PM
TheOnion - Mom Learns About New Vegetable https://t.co/WjwPYLzQC2 https://t.co/ov1sgrTSg5

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8/24 @ 11:19 AM
TheOnion - BREAKING: Hundreds Feared Dead In Coors Light Party Train Crash https://t.co/xz5FTDIWXi

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8/24 @ 11:01 AM
TheOnion - Visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed for the latest from the most influential media empire human civilization has ever seen https://t.co/f1PwHnqhWx

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8/24 @ 10:40 AM
TheOnion - Justice Department To End Use Of Private Prisons https://t.co/fzsADzG7Tk #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/q2GMizb25Q

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8/24 @ 10:01 AM
TheOnion - Area Dad Looking To Get Average Phone Call With Adult Son Down To 47.5 Seconds https://t.co/M32l6nJ4VQ https://t.co/2mjTXrFIJG

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8/24 @ 9:04 AM
TheOnion - How To Keep Your Possessions Safe While Traveling https://t.co/4McYTsnYVN https://t.co/94bA9D6lj9

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8/24 @ 8:01 AM
TheOnion - Area Man's Mother Sizes Up New Girlfriend's Pelvic Span https://t.co/52LilgMRWX

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8/24 @ 12:01 AM
TheOnion - Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones https://t.co/rwwWAPJjCx https://t.co/AtSxnthntq

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8/23 @ 11:15 PM
TheOnion - Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton? https://t.co/GPaq3S9KYP https://t.co/yUY0v5qc6c

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8/23 @ 10:44 PM
TheOnion - Bold Employee Just Watching Videos During Meeting With Sound On https://t.co/9KlsyNSQc7 https://t.co/TLqJzGRZ9r

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8/23 @ 6:45 PM
TheOnion - Elderly Woman Relieved To Know She’s Tackled Last Technological Advancement Of Lifetime https://t.co/9539o7WoxT https://t.co/OSKhjyyug3

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8/23 @ 6:20 PM
TheOnion - For more world-renowned reportage, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/gNsU886rPz

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8/23 @ 5:59 PM
TheOnion - Tips For A Successful Job Interview https://t.co/esqxtd7OdB

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8/23 @ 5:45 PM
TheOnion - NASA Locates Lost Spacecraft https://t.co/cgLLn04hw0 #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/DBieiuYjDr

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8/23 @ 4:27 PM
TheOnion - Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop https://t.co/3HPFVIJld9 https://t.co/04SG0CX3Bg

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8/23 @ 3:58 PM
TheOnion - Most Popular Conspiracy Theories https://t.co/gbazk4vih6 https://t.co/QTo0x2wUv2

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8/23 @ 3:21 PM
TheOnion - New Study Recommends Insects Spend At Least 30 Minutes Skittering Per Day https://t.co/ZWrpBRgYn3 https://t.co/m02n4BM4bD

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8/23 @ 3:18 PM
TheOnion - Tips For Investing Your Money https://t.co/tNTmbSrf2B

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8/23 @ 2:46 PM
TheOnion - "What could be better?" https://t.co/TD0Yl1Q2JU

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8/23 @ 2:45 PM
TheOnion - I Can’t Imagine My Wedding Day Without You Sitting There Uncomfortably At A Table Full Of People You Don’t Know https://t.co/boqwV2EOSf

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8/23 @ 1:28 PM
TheOnion - Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton? https://t.co/Wnoyjwvlat https://t.co/HCSZkz4Wqc

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8/23 @ 12:50 PM
TheOnion - Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones https://t.co/xOm2C3AfZQ https://t.co/xS8pCsCzfB

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8/23 @ 12:00 PM
TheOnion - Pope Francis Warns Catholics This Not Good Time To Bother God https://t.co/zw3i6cd513 https://t.co/Iwawqq84Hz

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8/23 @ 11:25 AM
TheOnion - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 23, 2016 https://t.co/xAmvoWIMhA https://t.co/snx8P7DhkU

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8/23 @ 10:51 AM
TheOnion - Satellite Images Could Predict Poverty https://t.co/9v1TSMPYML #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/XDUWkt318q

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8/23 @ 10:15 AM
TheOnion - Job Applicant Blows Away Interviewer With Intimate Knowledge Of Company’s ‘About Us’ Page https://t.co/N55297dbom https://t.co/faqiKiN7hS

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8/23 @ 9:34 AM
TheOnion - Stupid 16-Year-Old Completely Wasting Adderall Prescription On Mental Health https://t.co/vC6AYcYfQ1 https://t.co/RkbJNRRP4N

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8/23 @ 8:35 AM
TheOnion - Redford To Re-Digitize Ordinary People, Improve Space Battle https://t.co/ZqG15q1RFC

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8/22 @ 10:49 PM
TheOnion - The Pros And Cons Of Open-Plan Offices https://t.co/947Kb7NSWU https://t.co/iB2ohVtXma

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8/22 @ 8:01 PM
TheOnion - New Forced-Retirement Community Opens For Local 60-Year-Olds https://t.co/d54g3RFg5b https://t.co/k5pXiI1DBA

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8/22 @ 7:02 PM
TheOnion - Study Links Clinical Depression To Getting Dunked On https://t.co/VlfLOADaag https://t.co/NJTTnDnJOA

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8/22 @ 6:26 PM
TheOnion - How Colleges Are Keeping Their Campuses Safe https://t.co/k7e9ICpowd

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