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9/17 @ 11:25 AM
TheOnion - Ranked fourth, Boston currently has 78,000 open coxswain positions http://t.co/XbDkatQoJZ http://t.co/CMTpXpOMFK

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9/17 @ 11:09 AM
TheOnion - David Cameron To Scottish People: ‘I’ll Kill Myself If You Leave’ http://t.co/vE6YK8Gosx http://t.co/3LEdSJ0y5z

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9/17 @ 10:45 AM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Study: Fat Shaming Doesn’t Help Obese People Lose Weight http://t.co/cD79mMWf92 #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/17 @ 9:45 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Area Woman Has More Than 200 Products To Help Calm Her http://t.co/WUwAx5r0ss

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9/16 @ 10:30 PM
TheOnion - Office Shooting Could Not Have Come At Worse Time For Company http://t.co/vrF5xHB8Dc http://t.co/3GpQZz8981

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9/16 @ 7:30 PM
TheOnion - Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written Book In Over 2,000 Years http://t.co/tX2rz31sok http://t.co/KX6OiHIJIT

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9/16 @ 4:35 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Urban Outfitters Apologizes For Red-Stained Kent State Sweatshirt http://t.co/Xb63Wbez4g #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/16 @ 4:21 PM
TheOnion - Daily Spin Class Only Thing Keeping Mom From Driving Car Full Of Kids Into Ocean http://t.co/L8yFEQCNbn

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9/16 @ 3:51 PM
TheOnion - From The Archives: New Diet Surge Targets Overweight Snowboarders http://t.co/5vuXSphbcl http://t.co/irNf40UiNH

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9/16 @ 3:32 PM
TheOnion - Ranked first, New York crushes 1.4 million idealistic hopes and dreams per day http://t.co/rDqBOZQS8m http://t.co/o0r0kLQtdk

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9/16 @ 3:10 PM
TheOnion - Report: Laura’s Divorce Threatens Razor-Thin Democratic Majority In Family http://t.co/QiDmdNfACA http://t.co/9QX18MsbfT

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9/16 @ 2:37 PM
TheOnion - POLL: Should Parents Who Let Kids Play Outside Unsupervised Be Arrested? http://t.co/w4qWu4K9JJ http://t.co/ZwumAGFRhY

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9/16 @ 2:04 PM
TheOnion - In Face Of Adversity, Heroic NFL Fans Continue Watching Football http://t.co/Yvq8Sgve3W http://t.co/sIaoeGDQXo

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9/16 @ 1:45 PM
TheOnion - Ranked third, San Francisco's mild climate softens the blow of living on the streets http://t.co/eNf2dnAMYv http://t.co/fjtfRyhxyD

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9/16 @ 1:21 PM
TheOnion - Slash Forward Marketing says the company is rattled to its core by a poorly timed shooting http://t.co/M7Aoh6tw6b http://t.co/IgzWr0jjax

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9/16 @ 1:13 PM
TheOnion - The Onion's Best Cities For Millennials http://t.co/PzlFNf2HkP http://t.co/lvJOiz9G01

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9/16 @ 12:27 PM
TheOnion - Alleged shooter described as a "candy ass who obviously couldn't howl with the big dogs" http://t.co/oWo2VO357b http://t.co/le5kcuGdtI

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9/16 @ 12:10 PM
TheOnion - "One would think a writer of such knowledge and power would never lack for inspiration." http://t.co/sjy6R5mMBK http://t.co/vagl6UARbh

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9/16 @ 11:56 AM
TheOnion - Reclusive Deity Hasn’t Written A New Book In 2,000 Years http://t.co/gRXKxdlWhm http://t.co/QRpbeVZbTx

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9/16 @ 11:39 AM
TheOnion - Your Horoscopes — Week Of September 16, 2014 http://t.co/v21ypvdjJ2 http://t.co/qIAWUkfOJP

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9/16 @ 11:03 AM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Facebook Tests ‘Self-Destructing Posts’ Feature http://t.co/fmMyDXMGfv #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/16 @ 10:49 AM
TheOnion - "I’m just not me until I’m plagued by painful acid reflux and excruciating headaches." http://t.co/GUQSyL4VbO http://t.co/UfrMogV6pv

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9/16 @ 10:27 AM
TheOnion - Man Not Himself Until He Has So Much Coffee He Feels Like He’s Going To Die http://t.co/IDRZvKVxkU http://t.co/2zoDCjJA4m

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9/16 @ 9:35 AM
TheOnion - In Focus: Beaver Overthinking Dam http://t.co/iP4tESLvkX http://t.co/mB02bF5GzO

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9/15 @ 11:30 PM
TheOnion - "If I don’t have my spinning session, I will load the kids into the van and drive it straight off a dock." http://t.co/FksfJU1tHH

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9/15 @ 10:15 PM
TheOnion - "I’m starting to get really worried by how much Mom is opening up to me about her estrogen treatments." http://t.co/cjOYOQFOhq

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9/15 @ 8:30 PM
TheOnion - Elderly Rite Aid Patron Stretching Out Conversation About Toothpaste To Prolong Human Contact http://t.co/WzFzDHK6hF http://t.co/iJrttOiq6P

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9/15 @ 7:15 PM
TheOnion - Self-Centered Child Blames Divorce Entirely On Himself http://t.co/eD5ekRmhla http://t.co/XPIlziifqE

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9/15 @ 6:17 PM
TheOnion - Night Of Uninterrupted Deep Sleep Really Throws Man's Day Off http://t.co/NiV0vBplCo http://t.co/O7MDFYsaQb

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9/15 @ 4:37 PM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Majority Of Americans Back Obama’s ISIS Plan But Doubt It Will Work http://t.co/3U4NUMqhum #WhatDoYouThink?

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9/15 @ 3:44 PM
TheOnion - Daily Spin Class Only Thing Keeping Mom From Driving Car Full Of Kids Into Ocean http://t.co/Crlu8H8zCQ http://t.co/jrYN7wQXfz

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9/15 @ 3:17 PM
TheOnion - In Focus: Atlantic City Cocktail Waitress Crowned In Mistress USA Pageant http://t.co/yF6HK74IPs http://t.co/TraXl9vMvY

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9/15 @ 3:02 PM
TheOnion - Woman Nervous Mom Starting To Use Her As Confidant http://t.co/7I2kHC9BOW http://t.co/9JTxsSKnen

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9/15 @ 2:03 PM
TheOnion - Elderly Rite Aid Patron Stretching Out Conversation About Toothpaste To Prolong Human Contact http://t.co/1JDi56wl8c http://t.co/QSYttwzFIL

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9/15 @ 1:30 PM
TheOnion - Self-Centered Child Blames Divorce Entirely On Himself http://t.co/8PipMjGSFD http://t.co/0UEiHHMDa4

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9/15 @ 1:00 PM
TheOnion - Night Of Uninterrupted Deep Sleep Really Throws Man’s Day Off http://t.co/gFdBRancEN http://t.co/otRobcwYoW

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9/15 @ 12:32 PM
TheOnion - The Week In Pictures – Week Of September 15, 2014 http://t.co/CymX2SdcVd http://t.co/GVBKkeMRth

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9/15 @ 11:43 AM
TheOnion - Editorial Cartoon: 'Spreading The Good Nudes' http://t.co/5I1YYRCmWt http://t.co/8vs30hrzR4

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9/15 @ 11:07 AM
TheOnion - [American Voices] Report: Majority Of U.S. Adults Now Single http://t.co/bLdaOPQmtS #WhatDoYouThink? http://t.co/4pfOHcpFl5

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9/15 @ 10:35 AM
TheOnion - In Focus | "You might think I'm merely flattering you." http://t.co/XWnCPqfmde http://t.co/S59UwREWbL

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