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8/5 @ 7:45 AM
TheOnion - Actual Problem A Nice Change Of Pace For Anxious Man http://t.co/VxDuQVs6mq http://t.co/ZBQKVHu6ea

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8/4 @ 11:30 PM
TheOnion - Bernie Sanders Clearly In Pocket Of High-Rolling Teacher Who Donated $300 To His Campaign http://t.co/Ffaz1m4GD7 http://t.co/5XjhquudLk

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8/4 @ 9:45 PM
TheOnion - The plan increases wind by 80 million gusts http://t.co/KVhFzAdsib http://t.co/WZXMMX3PQw

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8/4 @ 8:30 PM
TheOnion - Tragic Accident Kills Aspiring Living Person http://t.co/jqReQTbNVg http://t.co/Nm8DuS6CMQ

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8/4 @ 7:30 PM
TheOnion - Alarming Study Finds 60% Of Americans Don’t Know Where Their Next Value Meal Going To Come From http://t.co/Nl5bXBmgwm

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8/4 @ 6:30 PM
TheOnion - Humanity Still Producing New Art As Though Megadeth’s ‘Rust In Peace’ Doesn’t Already Exist http://t.co/BFVNx91TS5 http://t.co/jlPiVWCmRD

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8/4 @ 5:35 PM
TheOnion - Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean http://t.co/IsxXnuQVAw http://t.co/7mBomQerUg

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8/4 @ 4:54 PM
TheOnion - Artist Always Carries Around Sketchbook In Case He Feels Like Making Someone Uncomfortable http://t.co/a7onwQre5c http://t.co/Vz43bYoZJD

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8/4 @ 4:24 PM
TheOnion - FDA Approves First 3D-Printed Drug http://t.co/KpRdTkIquc #WhatDoYouThink? http://t.co/0oEJ60UFEu

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8/4 @ 3:56 PM
TheOnion - From The Archives: Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition http://t.co/iqfYvo54dh http://t.co/WKEXeHgdS6

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8/4 @ 3:42 PM
TheOnion - Area 18-Year-Old Demands Right To Be Sexually Harassed In The Workplace http://t.co/PR0VAOpXfg http://t.co/h3TRQxoOFr

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8/4 @ 2:10 PM
TheOnion - To see more unmatched food and dining reporting, visit http://t.co/lEn2aOMc92 http://t.co/dvnKU5WFzY

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8/4 @ 1:45 PM
TheOnion - Best Man Has No Idea Why He Was Picked http://t.co/H5JLcUKjWk http://t.co/KrfAEySc3l

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8/4 @ 12:16 PM
TheOnion - FDA Report Finds Food Prevents Hunger 98% Of Time When Properly Used http://t.co/djAE520VFv http://t.co/zDYr0tDxvt

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8/4 @ 11:35 AM
TheOnion - "There is absolutely nothing in heaven or on earth that will stop me from trying to do so." http://t.co/DSxxN4dpKk http://t.co/AF2O3CpQn9

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8/4 @ 10:58 AM
TheOnion - Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 4, 2015 http://t.co/wZSNis265J http://t.co/eQYsa59btO

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8/4 @ 10:45 AM
TheOnion - Study: Home Rotisseries Only American Technological Field Still Advancing http://t.co/yBislPipJw http://t.co/hnLDD8eHHA

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8/4 @ 10:30 AM
TheOnion - Study Links Meat, Sugar Consumption To Early Death Among Those Who Choose To Be Happy In Life http://t.co/axD5ELKNFb http://t.co/pnf49rTarf

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8/4 @ 10:05 AM
TheOnion - For more exemplary journalism, visit http://t.co/csf5QUbhed http://t.co/ThzeSbikTJ

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8/4 @ 9:30 AM
TheOnion - Condo Board Maintains Purity Of Bloodline Through Generations Of Intermarriage http://t.co/gwXpDUQIoG http://t.co/91T91am7N3

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8/4 @ 8:45 AM
TheOnion - Buoyant Force On Area Object Equal To Weight Of Water Displaced http://t.co/1hFdiuedoM

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8/4 @ 7:45 AM
TheOnion - Hitchhiking Robot Destroyed On Cross-Country Trip http://t.co/kIV3x6Z4YX #WhatDoYouThink? http://t.co/mDwd4WfQwW

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8/3 @ 9:15 PM
TheOnion - Anti-MDMA Campaign Warns Teens About Dangers Of Feeling More Connected To Others http://t.co/Wc7kzkOsVf http://t.co/9gQe0YoLsW

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8/3 @ 8:00 PM
TheOnion - Street Musician's Mother Really On His Case About Practicing His Buckets http://t.co/2sPsnA3GAM http://t.co/Mpp53pZXTb

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8/3 @ 7:00 PM
TheOnion - How Apple Plans To Rebound From Apple Watch Flop http://t.co/BQZ1yvW6Hf http://t.co/djorumM2K3

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8/3 @ 4:20 PM
TheOnion - Hillary Clinton Runs First Presidential Campaign Ads http://t.co/ZvNB9ci1iV #WhatDoYouThink? http://t.co/XGedRDTMqD

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8/3 @ 3:02 PM
TheOnion - Here are some key details of @BarackObama's climate change plan: http://t.co/SKpIKJThVq http://t.co/EZ1e0yYrkS

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8/3 @ 2:42 PM
TheOnion - Throw yourself on the grenade of news in the first episode of @EDGEtv: http://t.co/433xdyDJ3e http://t.co/P9bVhr8Rdk

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8/3 @ 2:33 PM
TheOnion - Alarming Study Finds 60% Of Americans Don’t Know Where Their Next Value Meal Going To Come From http://t.co/lqMG558act

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8/3 @ 1:32 PM
TheOnion - Humanity Still Producing New Art As Though Megadeth’s ‘Rust In Peace’ Doesn’t Already Exist http://t.co/YvI0vRxbyQ http://t.co/qPMqCwvFyF

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8/3 @ 1:00 PM
TheOnion - On @EDGEtv: How The Israeli Occupation Has Made It Impossible For Palestinians To Score Drugs http://t.co/YP369GEn50 http://t.co/mTgD93AJn5

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8/3 @ 12:33 PM
TheOnion - For the latest from the world’s most unstoppable media juggernaut, visit http://t.co/csf5QUbhed http://t.co/kk0yinWWXu

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8/3 @ 12:04 PM
TheOnion - Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean http://t.co/2egmZHZeCZ http://t.co/ZY7bOBedfl

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8/3 @ 11:35 AM
TheOnion - Editorial Cartoon: 'Sun Burned' http://t.co/3ky3gtY12n http://t.co/lBa2eqf73X

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8/3 @ 11:07 AM
TheOnion - Google Street View Cars To Start Measuring Air Pollution http://t.co/2MCBKcjPYl #WhatDoYouThink? http://t.co/i9n1yTrKxv

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8/3 @ 10:35 AM
TheOnion - Job Became Completely Humiliating So Gradually Area Man Barely Noticed http://t.co/IFhW7DxT1f http://t.co/iRlgDLiJgB

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8/3 @ 10:05 AM
TheOnion - The Week In Pictures – Week Of August 3, 2015 http://t.co/zQv7kBW0Z7 http://t.co/giQr0LlDFK

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8/3 @ 9:30 AM
TheOnion - Working Man Proud Of Job He Hates http://t.co/3Dtuh7A0Lh http://t.co/77dNEliHfO

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8/3 @ 8:13 AM
TheOnion - Zagat Editor A 'Nice Guy' But 'Kind Of Boring’ http://t.co/8PVLY5UG2f

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8/3 @ 7:00 AM
TheOnion - Area Man, Woman Each Have Thorough List Of Why They Should Break Up On Standby http://t.co/1S3zk6jH5x http://t.co/jLfUPuTk5Z

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