Student Blog: Why Are We Afraid to be Cringe?

Working towards a BFA in Musical Theater, I have embarrassed myself in every way possible. Abruptly falling out of a turn, rolling around on the floor for an acting exercise, watching self tapes back thinking, “Why do I look like that?” I cringe at myself all the time!

Isn’t the basis of what we do already cringe enough as is? If learning to look past the embarrassment and the uncomfortable helps us grow, how do we combat this worry of being cringe?

Make it camp! The pop-culture term “camp” refers to an aesthetic style defined by exaggeration, parody, and artifice. Popularized by Susan Sontag’s 1946 essay, “Notes on Camp,” and later revived by the 2019 Met Gala theme, the term sums up the spirit of embracing humor over conventional seriousness. The term made its way into the fashion world, so, of course, it has made its way into the theatrical world.

Personally, “camp” is out of my comfort zone. I love “campy” musicals such as Evil Dead, Shrek the Musical, Mean Girls, Bat Boy, and You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown. However, when I try to play any roles from these musicals, I find myself cringing. As a performer in this evolving world of theater, you have to cater towards this evolving style, even if it is out of your comfort zone.

I found myself facing this exact discomfort in my voice recital this fall semester. I performed “My Party Dress” from the musical Henry and Mudge by Kerrigan and Lowdermilk. The musical is based on an illustrated children’s book about the adventures of a boy, Henry and his dog, Mudge. Think Mo Willems’ Elephant and Piggie or Laura Numeroff’s If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.  The plots are simple and entertaining.“My Party Dress,” has a similar comical feel to these children’s books. My character, Annie, is a playful young girl who just wants to show off her pretty pink dress. She’s quirky and energetic.

Listening to the song for the first time, I thought, “Okay, this is so out of my comfort zone. What if it’s not funny? What if I look stupid pretending to be a little girl in front of all these people?” I needed to let go of that skeptical inner voice to truly immerse myself in the campiness of the performance.

How exactly did I address this self-consciousness? Research. I watched others doing what I was afraid to do. I looked for actors who tackled childlike songs without making them feel forced or over-played. I came across Kristin Chenoweth’s 1999 Tony Award winning performance of “My New Philosophy” from You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown, a musical also based on a children’s book. She found the sweet-spot between comedy and truth in her character. She inspired me to see the world from the character’s eyes, and watching her gave me confidence to explore choices in ways that I had previously avoided. Could I do a character voice? Could I yell like a little kid? Could I jump into a split onstage? I realized how much I had been previously restricting myself as a performer. There is a place and time to “park and bark” a song, but for this, I had to use my physicality and vocal flexibility to bring the story to life. Before I knew it, I learned how to command presence within a cartoonish song that was once out of my comfort zone. Now, “My Party Dress,” is one of my favorite songs to perform!