Student Blog: The Show Must Go On

Staying motivated after a long break can be especially hard, and while the new year offers many possibilities, it also brings a sense of overwhelm as routines restart and expectations reset. I’m constantly on the go, and always looking for new things to add to my schedule, which can be exciting — but also exhausting. Somewhere in the mix of rehearsals, classes, and everything in between, I began to realize that motivation doesn’t always look the way I expect it to. Sometimes, it looks like simply getting through the day. To make sense of it all, I started thinking about motivation in the best way I know how — a story told in acts.

Act I: Burnout

The post-January slump is no joke, and getting back into the swing of things in this new semester has been tough. Between the freezing cold weather and classes being canceled because of snowstorms, my schedule has started to feel all over the place, and I’ve been totally knocked off the schedule I created for myself last semester. I already feel overwhelmed with things to do, and it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done. There is this feeling that everything starts happening at once, and then my workload and schedule feel totally unmanageable. Getting up super early in the morning and being in classes until 7 PM with only a few hours at night to cook, do homework, and practice self-care begins to feel impossible. This semester, I’m trying to find a happy medium where I can show up to everything I do with my full attention and energy without feeling like I am running on empty. The pressure of a BFA program can be difficult, but it’s something I am learning to manage day by day.

Act II: Doubt

This is the part where that overwhelm really starts to creep in, and sometimes I catch myself wondering if I’m really cut out for this. Audition nerves, comparing myself to others, and all those little moments of self-doubt start piling up. I find that often when I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed, I start to wonder if I am falling behind. This feeling also lingers when I’m not actively working on something, and I start to wonder whether not being involved in a project means I’m not doing enough. But the truth is, just because I’m not always busy doesn’t mean I’m not making progress. Sometimes showing up is enough. This can be hard to tell myself, especially when it seems like everyone else around me is involved in many different things at once. I'm beginning to remind myself that my journey will look different from everyone else's, and that is okay. My first priority is to make sure I’m doing things that make me happy, and that keep me connected to why I fell in love with theatre in the first place. I’m also trying to remind myself that it’s normal to experience imposter syndrome and feelings of being stuck or burnt out. Because I'm in a field that is constantly changing, where I may have something to do one day but not the next, I'm trying to be kinder to myself when I begin to wonder if I am good enough.

Act III: Rediscovery

I was being especially hard on myself at the beginning of this semester, feeling burnt out from being so busy, but also feeling like I wasn’t doing enough. I decided to audition for a new play workshop at my school because the script was something I really fell in love with and felt drawn to. I wasn’t sure if I was what they were looking for or if I would even be cast. I decided to audition for it, and I’m so glad I did, because I was cast in it! Getting this offer lit me up, and it was one of those little reminders to keep going. That first burst of excitement, and getting to share it during callbacks with the creative team, felt really special. I’ve noticed that I have this newfound energy, and getting to look forward to something like this has really put me in a positive mindset. These past couple of weeks have reminded me that progress comes from showing up, staying curious, and trusting the process, and I’m so excited to start working on something that I feel super passionate about!

Finale

In the end, I’ve done a lot of reflecting, and I’ve found that even in moments of doubt and burnout, the truth and progress lie in reliance. I realized that I'm going to miss 100% of the chances I don't take, and if I let doubt get the best of me, I’m never going to allow myself to do all the things I dream of doing. Being resilient and putting myself out there over and over again can be really difficult, especially when rejection is such a huge part of this industry. But, I'm reminding myself that it's always progress over perfection, and when something is meant for me, it won't pass me by. I’m sticking with my “the show must go on” mindset, pushing through the tough moments, and trusting that every step I take is part of the journey I’m meant to be on.