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danecook on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/danecook
12/21 @ 8:02 PM
DaneCook - Kicking back by the fire watching this amazing sunset. I can't wait to eat and have sex later. http://t.co/hTTKlqbTyK

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12/21 @ 6:23 PM
DaneCook - I put on this suit to formally wish you all a very happy holiday time. See that glimmer in my eyes?… http://t.co/dl42p8qwSK

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12/21 @ 4:50 PM
DaneCook - Holiday nails! http://t.co/icr4Erplux

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12/21 @ 3:59 PM
DaneCook - People often ask me what it's like being inside my brain. Here's a glimpse. http://t.co/u6MGcKaYSW

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12/21 @ 3:15 PM
DaneCook - #Brady #Patriots

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12/20 @ 11:23 PM
DaneCook - 4 years ago today spiders ruined xmas. #XmasGrief http://t.co/LnNIcMkEKM

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12/20 @ 9:08 PM
DaneCook - MERRYT XMAS! @DaneCook "SNL Sketch - Wool Sweater" http://t.co/K6pKWR5O25

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12/20 @ 8:26 PM
DaneCook - THIS IS MY OVEN, THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE. MY OVEN IS MY BEST FRIEND. IT IS MY… http://t.co/84JbddcR9t

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12/20 @ 4:49 PM
DaneCook - I'm at the Laugh Factory Hollywood tonight at 10. It's gonna be a holiday extraordinaire.

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12/20 @ 3:18 PM
DaneCook - 2014 brought me back to where it all started. The Comedy Cellar in NYC. The best. http://t.co/OWyRaUyof5

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12/20 @ 1:38 AM
DaneCook - Any blood splatter analysis experts out there know if this looks like a totally guilty scene or more… http://t.co/dKFwdKPzJA

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12/20 @ 12:56 AM
DaneCook - This guy photobombed me last night. I didn't like the picture of me but I though he looked great and… http://t.co/rcbsEiKhtA

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12/19 @ 10:15 PM
DaneCook - Thx @barbi you've made my Xmas wish come true. http://t.co/CyZduLFyHB

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12/19 @ 10:04 PM
DaneCook - The best holiday advice I can give you. http://t.co/NRHCrm2fm9

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12/19 @ 9:52 PM
DaneCook - The fucking tinsel is wrapped around the xmas tree & his neck. #TimberFail http://t.co/q928xRrJyf

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12/19 @ 9:28 PM
DaneCook - Take my advice. http://t.co/rSNP3tVZoe

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12/19 @ 9:01 PM
DaneCook - NOOOOOOOOOO! #NotSoMerryXmas http://t.co/hwO3dnyJ5i

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12/19 @ 8:33 PM
DaneCook - I wish I was in this pic dressed as Rudolph. http://t.co/HCC5P6TuGW

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12/19 @ 8:16 PM
DaneCook - I love the smell of nothing cooking at all.

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12/19 @ 8:08 PM
DaneCook - #tbf w/ @WhitneyCummings but we are getting pbombed by @gwenstefani & @gerardbutler http://t.co/PVoFglPZCf

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12/19 @ 6:56 PM
DaneCook - We wish you a #PandaXmas http://t.co/G4U2mnp22m

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12/19 @ 6:06 PM
DaneCook - I am suspending any future plans to travel into North Koreatown for karaoke.

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12/19 @ 4:34 PM
DaneCook - I'm always looking ahead for hindsight.

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12/18 @ 9:24 PM
DaneCook - #tbt #VegasShowAtMandelayBay15000PeopleEdition #CaptionThisPic http://t.co/QLy1dcecoV

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12/18 @ 8:09 PM
DaneCook - #tbt to the night I performed 7 straight hours of comedy at the Laugh Factory. It ended at 7am and I… http://t.co/fQ8P5R1NRX

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12/18 @ 7:59 PM
DaneCook - #tbt w/ @JessicsAlba & I talking to Extra about where I am always putting my foot. http://t.co/LAmjBJ2fLw

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12/18 @ 7:26 PM
DaneCook - Santa dun fucked up. #XmassholesRoughedUpSanta #Jolly&Hostile #SantaWasNaughty #TheElvesSetHimUp… http://t.co/nD23eUVAHG

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12/18 @ 3:46 PM
DaneCook - I live in Hackerwood.

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12/18 @ 3:24 PM
DaneCook - N. Korea has 2,000 "cyberwarriors." Such a slap in the face to Genghis Khan, Yue Fei, Attila - the real warriors that toured on the road.

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12/18 @ 2:06 PM
DaneCook - #tbt with Special J and some great people we spent some time with while filming EofM. This was a great… http://t.co/76sC4KiD26

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12/18 @ 2:06 PM
DaneCook - I miss Boston. http://t.co/U3zEiUTFn1

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12/18 @ 12:08 AM
DaneCook - #tbt #CaptionThisEdition http://t.co/Pyz8p8On8R

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12/17 @ 9:40 PM
DaneCook - who likes cake?

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12/17 @ 9:35 PM
DaneCook - If you're white and say, "the struggle is real" you should be immediately punched in the face by a person of color.

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12/17 @ 8:40 PM
DaneCook - I hacked into my exs FB today. I'm really hoping she cancels her xmas plans now.

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12/17 @ 8:12 PM
DaneCook - N. Korea hackers not quite adopting the mockery/flattery thing. If they had a premiere & laughed at themselves = goodwill pts.

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12/17 @ 6:47 PM
DaneCook - Merry Christmas everyone! I'm NOT dead. http://t.co/ZaZifXvghX

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12/17 @ 6:08 PM
DaneCook - I get a ton of DMs on here. Lots of strange & interesting pix. For example here is the #SaddestSelfie… http://t.co/lEdNTmmsJV

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12/17 @ 5:39 PM
DaneCook - There's no better feeling in the world than wanting to see someone that maybe never wants to ever see you again.

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12/17 @ 3:42 PM
DaneCook - I just spoke to 80s Bon Jovi and he asked me to relay this to all of you. http://t.co/2xFxBYZ5z5

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