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danecook on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/danecook
2/26 @ 4:10 PM
DaneCook - I've dated some fantastic women that've taught me how to live a better more exemplary life. I've also gone out with girls that just stink.

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2/26 @ 4:04 PM
DaneCook - #tbt #blinkandyoumissedmeedition 1997 I had my first speaking role in a film. I played Fair Cop. I… https://t.co/FENO8U1rDZ

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2/26 @ 3:53 PM
DaneCook - Kate Moss basically took 41 years old and told it to fuck off and it did. https://t.co/NeEzjv3uXt

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2/26 @ 3:15 PM
DaneCook - First full body transplant is two years away: http://t.co/AD5fWuLGgQ

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2/26 @ 3:13 PM
DaneCook - I'm only insecure around people.

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2/26 @ 2:43 PM
DaneCook - If I've loved you in the past and you screw me in the present I will fuck your future.

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2/26 @ 1:34 PM
DaneCook - Make a fist & try to stick it up your own ass. It hurts. It doesn't make sense. Now get up & go after your dreams.. it's a lot easier.

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2/25 @ 8:24 PM
DaneCook - You. Can't. Not. Watch. This. Don't. Try. To. Escape. Me. #UnDaned #MissionZ #ModelLife #CNN https://t.co/midhfmgh3v

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2/25 @ 6:59 PM
DaneCook - Treat a woman like a pile of shit and she's gonna fuck you up and you deserve it so stop acting like some alpha fuckface and be human.

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2/25 @ 4:59 PM
DaneCook - #TruthPatrol https://t.co/DlajzPWIeQ

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2/25 @ 4:41 PM
DaneCook - You're not crazy. Sometimes life is totally out to get you.

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2/25 @ 2:25 PM
DaneCook - "Eat my asshole with a side of I don't give a fuck." - Overheard

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2/25 @ 2:20 PM
DaneCook - I have thank my friends at Dolce & Gabbana for making a Boston scrub appear shiny & new so I wouldn't… https://t.co/toCiJflSSP

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2/24 @ 9:20 PM
DaneCook - Adults don't know shit.

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2/24 @ 7:33 PM
DaneCook - I don't pull out. I go deeper.

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2/24 @ 7:30 PM
DaneCook - I want to spread love not hate. But sometimes I do get the urge to hate dance on top of a hardware store until management forces me down.

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2/24 @ 7:27 PM
DaneCook - I was texting while playing GTA V. I rear ended a gang members new car. He got out & shot me many times. Don't text & drive.

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2/24 @ 5:27 PM
DaneCook - In a room filled with everyone you could ever wanna meet I got the privilege to chat with Paul… https://t.co/miN8sXRz3M

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2/24 @ 5:02 PM
DaneCook - I'm someones b-day invite. #ListOfThingsIveNeverSeenBefore https://t.co/vrPT3fwWnR

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2/24 @ 4:33 PM
DaneCook - I can't wait until time travel is invented so I can go back and delete this.

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2/24 @ 2:01 PM
DaneCook - “@IFC: Check out all the ways that Tarantino movies CLEARLY share a universe. http://t.co/55q1jFkb8j ” - this is wild

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2/23 @ 9:19 PM
DaneCook - This might make you have some faith in me. #DMonday https://t.co/YXhHqYaAhZ

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2/23 @ 8:13 PM
DaneCook - "???? ??? ?? ??????." - George R.R. Martin

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2/23 @ 7:20 PM
DaneCook - Well, this isn't terrifying. https://t.co/hOywelMPO7

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2/23 @ 7:17 PM
DaneCook - "So don't touch me, cause I'm electric, and if you touch me you'll get shocked. Shocked. Shocked." - Beastie Boys, Professor Booty

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2/23 @ 6:57 PM
DaneCook - Thank you to the talented Gyyp this is exactly how I feel today. https://t.co/7wweCDowJm

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2/23 @ 5:15 PM
DaneCook - John Travolta's creepy Oscars kiss gets even creepier with memes http://t.co/AShoU4eSEJ via @mashable

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2/23 @ 5:02 PM
DaneCook - I can't wait to tell you what I'm doing next.

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2/23 @ 1:49 PM
DaneCook - This room was filled with extremely talented, warm, hard working, ballsy people and I was also there… http://t.co/wnpUg7oM3R

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2/23 @ 1:12 PM
DaneCook - Should we host the show together next year? #Oscars2016 http://t.co/ULNkoskIRc

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2/23 @ 12:59 PM
DaneCook - I'm selling this couch on EBay. #vanityfair #oscars #framingthisone #MartinHartOswaltCook http://t.co/P920pJnSD7

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2/23 @ 5:47 AM
DaneCook - I don't know what it is about a tux with no jacket but you automatically feel like you should be in… http://t.co/0kJyejT7h8

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2/23 @ 12:11 AM
DaneCook - "Look... it's just great to be here, who am I kidding?" - Michael Keaton Best quote ever. Love that guy.

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2/22 @ 9:33 PM
DaneCook - I think the "you're over your time" music at the #Oscars should be the Jason music from Friday the 13th. #Oscars2015

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2/22 @ 7:27 PM
DaneCook - My dad & I in our suits. http://t.co/yn8K3a0wql

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2/22 @ 6:11 PM
DaneCook - Last night my date & I last decided to do a photoshoot in the middle of Sunset Blvd. after the #Oscars… http://t.co/6qjz1E2QYV

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2/22 @ 4:58 PM
DaneCook - Captain America, The Thing & The Waffler together in one picture. We turned the #Oscars party into a… http://t.co/Rq5AtMkjg8

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2/22 @ 2:07 PM
DaneCook - Last night at the #Oscars #NightBeforeParty @KevinHart4Real & I, due to some mysterious cosmic magic… http://t.co/3O4QposlUT

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2/21 @ 9:23 PM
DaneCook - Last night at the Laugh Factory with the new cast of "Saved By the Bell the Later Years." http://t.co/rcbr9w6eQW

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2/20 @ 8:41 PM
DaneCook - Worst walk home from school ever. #WalkThisWay http://t.co/qwnZOgu5ZJ

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