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danecook on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/danecook
9/30 @ 6:59 PM
DaneCook - I'm home schooling myself.

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9/30 @ 6:50 PM
DaneCook - Unreliable people always respond in a timely fashion to any situation that involves them eating for free.

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9/30 @ 6:20 PM
DaneCook - When a guy tells a girl he's falling for her we call that dropping an "L" bomb.

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9/29 @ 9:59 PM
DaneCook - Monday Night Football with YOUR fantasy league. #MCM @paulhughescomic @brentmorin adamray33… http://t.co/L3Gnw4Qo0E

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9/29 @ 6:59 PM
DaneCook - Someones ready for fall. http://t.co/wo7LIpqgKx

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9/29 @ 5:19 PM
DaneCook - I just got certified to go dumpster diving.

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9/29 @ 3:39 PM
DaneCook - .@chancetherapper:"Dane Cook- too big too fast. You can't be universally loved.” See if this holds up Oct17th when #TroubleMaker airs son

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9/29 @ 3:38 AM
DaneCook - 12:00 on a Sunday night is not quality hour.

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9/28 @ 10:48 PM
DaneCook - At least pride has zero calories.

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9/28 @ 1:11 AM
DaneCook - Love means never having to say you're sorry you murdered someone.

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9/28 @ 1:10 AM
DaneCook - Love means never having to say you're sorry to you murdered someone.

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9/28 @ 12:53 AM
DaneCook - I just want to say THANK YOU to the homeless guy that spit at me today and called me a "shitless wonder." Taking a negative and flipping it.

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9/27 @ 11:47 PM
DaneCook - Seven Brides for One Brother #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:43 PM
DaneCook - Pokelahoma #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:41 PM
DaneCook - Beauty and the Vagina Destroyer #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:39 PM
DaneCook - Creamgirls #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:37 PM
DaneCook - Cumalot #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:36 PM
DaneCook - The Blowducers #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:34 PM
DaneCook - Mannie #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:33 PM
DaneCook - All That Jizz #PornMusicals

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9/27 @ 11:28 PM
DaneCook - It's a thing. Let's go. #PornMusicals West Side Gloryhole

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9/27 @ 11:12 PM
DaneCook - Two words: Porn musicals.

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9/27 @ 2:40 PM
DaneCook - You know who else is "on the run?" #NextNextNextLevel #RunyonIsHot #KeepYourHeadInTheGame http://t.co/ZCs6xBgHX5

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9/27 @ 4:13 AM
DaneCook - DC & MM after party. @mariamenounos http://t.co/zhBZiv7FCz

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9/27 @ 12:30 AM
DaneCook - How do I emoji my new special #Troublemaker on Oct17th on Showtime?

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9/26 @ 11:06 PM
DaneCook - “@x420xx: @DaneCook on HBO in 20 minutes. Let's go!" - enjoy it and get ready for my new special #Troublemaker

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9/26 @ 9:10 PM
DaneCook - Sometimes when a girl I'm with is having a really intense orgasm I hold her close and say, "flux capacitor... fluxing!"

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9/26 @ 4:03 PM
DaneCook - The show at the Laugh Factory tonight will be one of the best in history. Killer lineup. Hollywood show starts at 10.

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9/26 @ 4:02 PM
DaneCook - Whole new look including Mentions with q&a stuff like last night. Go LIKE it and get #Troublemaker ready. https://t.co/YKTjs7kSxB

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9/25 @ 11:24 PM
DaneCook - #tbt Insomniac Tour http://t.co/DdhiTj96Ry

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9/25 @ 10:19 PM
DaneCook - Dinner and my show. After that The Equalizer at midnight with some friends. Can't wait to watch Denzel some kick ass.

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9/25 @ 6:40 PM
DaneCook - #tbt to the time I wore the magic red jacket and had a picture taken with everything happening like… http://t.co/opwVW9yy1R

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9/25 @ 6:17 PM
DaneCook - #DaneCook #Troublemaker #Oct17th #Showtime http://t.co/kEu4HMZzXo

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9/24 @ 9:54 PM
DaneCook - Tomorrow is my day to shine. Tonight I'm gonna treat myself like shit.

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9/24 @ 7:14 PM
DaneCook - I love a slut with a game plan.

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9/24 @ 6:38 PM
DaneCook - I like threatening someone being an asshole with nonsense. "You pull that crap again I'm gonna Lenny Kravitz your birth certificate."

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9/23 @ 6:34 PM
DaneCook - My brain today. http://t.co/GQPRCnJNwr

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9/23 @ 3:14 PM
DaneCook - The world doesn't want me to learn the flute. If I do I will seduce nations.

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9/22 @ 9:37 PM
DaneCook - I'm grateful for the coming months. I've got amazing people supporting me on my journey. #Troublemaker… http://t.co/CLSChfPW23

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9/22 @ 3:30 PM
DaneCook - Send me your pic with #WhatsMyNickName and I'll give you one.

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