Review: HELEN BAUER: BLESS HER, Soho Theatre

“God forbid at the age of 34, I have an original thought”

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” This RuPaul quote may seem like a lofty topic for an hour-long comedy show, but Helen Bauer is ready to tackle it. Even though the audience might only see one person on the stage, Helen Bauer: Bless Her is a two-woman show, as Bauer brings her eight-year-old self into the spotlight at the request of her therapist. 

Bauer’s style of comedy feels a bit like a panic attack - happening all at once, barely giving the audience time to breath before moving onto the next subject. Those unfamiliar may be a bit startled at the beginning, but must get used to it, as, to quote Bauer, “The whole thing is like this.” But there is also a beautiful sense of communion, with Bauer sometimes murmuring “Gather, gather, gather” to the audience and having them lean in before revealing a truth about herself or the world as a whole. 

The main focus of Bless Her is how Bauer is struggling with self-love, making her worry about how she will ever find somebody who loves her. This is a major issue for someone who is terrified of living alone and being unwitnessed, as Bauer believes that everything she does is a performance for others. Sometimes those others might not even be alive, with Bauer telling  childhood stories about her bedroom being haunted by the ghost of Queen Victoria. 

One of the main aspects of Bauer’s life that she focuses on in her show is the consequences of being a “big girl.” According to her, being a big girl has made her the best at socialising - who else is always sitting in the front of taxis after a night out? This leads to Bauer commiserating with fellow big girls in the audience about the struggles they face, including the infuriating moment of seeing a petite woman in an aeroplane seat with extra legroom. There is also a great bit with Bauer comparing big girls to short men, leading to a proposal for something called the Secret Best Friends Club. 

An unexpected highlight? Bauer’s dedication to history podcasts and the impact that they have had on her life. There is a mini rant about the role of short men in World War I, as well as a segment on the suffragette movement and Emily Wilding Davison, who can be described by Bauer as “a woman who didn’t have access to headphones.” A great moment comes from Bauer’s distaste for the word “herstory,” claiming that women shouldn’t have to be held responsible for the crimes committed by men over the past thousands of years. 

There may not be a straight narrative throughout the show, but everything comes together to an unexpectedly dark finale, with Bauer revealing more about herself, including a secret that she has been keeping since she was eight years old. Those who have gone through similar things to Bauer may find this part particularly difficult to listen to, but the payoff is thoroughly worth it - leading to a mix of tears and laughter by the end of the hour. Even through these darker moments, there are still things to laugh at, including Bauer’s defence of Augustus Gloop from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 

Helen Bauer: Bless Her is a rapidfire yet powerful hour of comedy, with Bauer managing to have the audience howling with laughter while still going into some pretty difficult topics. Those who have gone through similar struggles will find the show painfully and hilariously relatable, through both the joyful and darker aspects that Bauer delves into. This is one for the big girls, the ones in the front of the taxi, and joyfully so. 

Helen Bauer: Bless Her ran from 20 - 25 October at Soho Theatre, Dean Street.