Student Blog: Free Falling Out of My Comfort Zone

A comfort zone is a funny thing. I feel like as actors, we’re never able to truly understand what our comfort zone is exactly. Sometimes, we push ourselves in the name of the craft, but really, we’re just being placed in the uncomfortable, and learning to find solace there. I think that’s why actors are often bullshit experts. We understand what it means to pretend, to put yourself in a place where you don’t belong, to take a creative or personal risk and just go with it. 

This month, we’re talking all about comfort zones. I love to be out of my comfort zone, personally. Nothing is more thrilling to me than feeling pushed by my peers or my teachers, being asked to do something completely new. I’ve never been a rollercoaster person, unless it's an emotional one. 

Recently, I stepped out of my comfort zone when I began writing. I’ve always loved to write, often finding a great sense of escape within text whether it be book, play, score, or teen magazine. When I was a kid, I would write little plays and force my friends and cousins to play the roles I’d written, while I directed, often making a cameo or two. My love for writing stuck with me through middle school, taking me to high school where I really found my love for physical copies of plays and screenplays in the Interlochen Center for the Arts library. First of all, that was the best summer of my entire life, and I miss it every single day. Second of all, it cemented my fascination with the page. The small notes in the margins, the marked up copies of scripts from students past. Every week, I would spend time in the library, diving headfirst into a pool of dialogue. Some of my best memories from my life surround a single copy of Dance Nation and baby blue uniform-clad teenagers in the pine scented woods of Michigan. Back at home, I would spend class time writing little screenplays, episodes of TV shows, or sketches, while simultaneously indulging in any script I could get my hands on. 

Thus, when I picked writing back up again in college, it felt like putting on an old Laduca boot. The curves of the keys under my fingers as I typed felt, and still feel, like a waltz. I began writing again just for myself. Then, I discovered Her Campus Magazine’s UCLA chapter. While I was abroad in London, I sent in an application to be a Feature Writer, and was chosen! Yipee! I quickly started penning articles about my various interests: theater, fashion, music, media, and my life experiences. When it came time to post my first article publicly, I was incredibly nervous. I didn’t want to fall flat on my face, or have people make fun of me for indulging so deeply in something I really had no formal training in. When the first article went live, I was met with an overwhelming amount of positive feedback, but I was also met with much confusion. People had no idea that I liked to write, even though I thought it was such a major part of myself. 

Though nervous, and feeling incredibly out of place, I forced myself to keep writing, to keep finding my narrative voice. One day, I saw an Instagram post about the Broadway World Student Blogger program. My undying love for theater, meshed with my passion for writing, told me that I absolutely had to apply. Writing for an entertainment publication, let alone Broadway World (!) was such a dream of mine. I worked tirelessly to perfect my application, just hoping for the chance that I would even be considered. When I got the email that I had been selected, I was overjoyed. Truly, I could not contain my excitement. I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe that I am able to say that I have articles published on Broadway World! If I told high school Bella about this position, I truly think she’d explode. 

I still get nervous, and I cannot tell you with absolute certainty that I know what I’m doing. I get butterflies every time I post an article. In fact, I often withhold the post announcement from my friends on social media because I get self-conscious, but that’s part of taking the leap out of my comfort zone. 

I love to write, and I hope you’ve at least enjoyed reading what I publish. I’m going to keep writing, keep learning, and keep getting better because my comfort zone will never be my final resting place.