Student Blog: It's Just a Ride

I have no idea what the cast of Glee was up to, but going to college for theatre is not nearly as crazy as they made it out to be, and personally, I’m offended. 

All jokes aside, as someone who decided to devote my post-secondary pursuits to studying theatre, I was immediately surprised by the lack of actual performance that I was doing in college. There seemed to be a common sense of whiplash among the freshmen in my program (corroborated by friends from other schools as well), caused by the collective cooling of our heels upon entering a college theatre program. For most of us, we went from the “one-hundred” of getting lead roles and leading our theatre troupes to the “zero” of not being able to audition for shows for at least a semester. 

This transition was jarring and discouraging at times, as it often made me feel like I was being restricted from doing what I went to college to do. I wanted to quit, I wanted to drop out and “go audition” (like, girl, where?), and moreso my ego was bruised. What was actually a semester of not being in a production felt like an eternity with my FOMO being fueled to the max. However, in focusing on my negative emotions, I neglected to realize what was actually happening during this time period until after the fact.

During my first semester (while I wasn’t in a show), I was adjusting to living away from home, meeting new people and forming friendships, and settling into a routine on my own. The time that was spent out of rehearsal was being spent in emotional regulation, having fun with my new friends, and settling into my new school community. If I had been in rehearsals every day, I wouldn’t have had time to do any of that. At the time, I was bitter and felt lost, but now, I’m thankful for the time I had to adjust.

The shift in my mindset about my first semester at college has been a huge help in reframing how I look at the ups and downs of acting in general. As most performing artists have experienced, there’s a real “feast or famine” progression to our work; it’s either extremely busy or there’s nothing going on at all. While I used to fear the dry-spells and look at them as time periods where I wasn’t accomplishing anything, I’m trying to see them as opportunities for settlement in whatever stage of my journey I’m in. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, I’m making a real attempt to let go of the internal pressures that tell me that if I’m not working, I’m not growing, because that’s not true. This journey is a roller coaster ride that I’m meant to enjoy for its highs and lows, and more importantly, one I chose to be on. With that being said, settle into the lows knowing greater highs are to come and that you’ve already accomplished so much just by getting on the ride.