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12/19 @ 6:13 PM
TheDailyShow - #DailyShowPodcast with @MrChadCarter and @iamsambee - http://t.co/3Wu8uFJZlu http://t.co/1dXWMdu8Qa

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12/19 @ 1:38 PM
TheDailyShow - Jon thanks @StephenAtHome for his final report. #ColbertFinale http://t.co/xxTQLqS6dh http://t.co/RedK4Wck3p

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12/19 @ 9:52 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews EU rules obesity a disability. The United States rules it "greatest pastime."

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12/18 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! America and Cuba finally bury the hatchet. It's been so long, they can barely remember why they were fighting! #OhWait #ColdWar

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12/18 @ 8:51 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Pope gives sleeping bags to homeless. Was going to wash their feet, but he gave them that last year #HardToShopFor

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12/18 @ 6:55 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Death penalty at 20 year low. Oh wait, we forgot that Texas never seceded. #Recalculating

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12/18 @ 9:32 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Price of ground beef hits record high. Hamburger Helper sells one of his fingers to make ends meet.

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12/17 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Fox Nation declares war on the Roc Nation.

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12/17 @ 8:32 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews NY moves closer to fracking ban. Will have to rely on state's multiple nuclear plants for any disasters

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12/17 @ 6:50 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Johns Hopkins mistakenly admits hundreds of rejected students. Solves problem by handing out hundreds of fake degrees.

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12/17 @ 8:54 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Teens switching to e-cigarettes. Now we can finally tell the difference between the cool teen smokers and the nerdy ones!

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12/16 @ 10:53 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Congratulations, Congress, you're the proud parents of a baby spending bill!

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12/16 @ 8:54 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Mom calls C-Span to scold arguing pundit sons. Reminds us all that people on C-Span are humans. #EasyToForget

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12/16 @ 7:00 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Americans approve torture by 2-to-1. So it's official, even torture is more popular than Congress.

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12/16 @ 4:36 PM
TheDailyShow - .@msjwilly shares her vision of what a smart gossip site would look like. http://t.co/58fyhMmw0o

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12/16 @ 8:51 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Studies show owning a pet could improve your health, especially if you own a Cancercuringopotamus.

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12/15 @ 10:50 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Tune in to watch Dick Cheney talk about torture! Or stick to your original plan, watching "Saw." #LessGraphic

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12/15 @ 8:50 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Merriam-Webster names 'Culture' the word of 2014. Culture puts on tiara, plans how to spend "word of the year" millions.

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12/15 @ 6:55 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews France to ban Uber. Taxis will go back to being hailed in traditional French manner of "disdainful cigarette-flick."

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12/15 @ 10:38 AM
TheDailyShow - New #DailyShowPodcast: The story behind @iamsambee's report on federally funded penis pumps: http://t.co/NvcM5BNshS http://t.co/2eEVkkMGJh

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12/14 @ 6:56 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Bachmann wants an attack on Iran for Christmas. Marcus trudges back to the mall sadly to return tennis bracelet.

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12/13 @ 6:55 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Germany finds no proof that US tapped Merkel's phone. Merkel's top Candy Crush scores remain safely in German hands.

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12/12 @ 8:55 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Pope proclaims animals are welcome in heaven. But plants can still suck Satan's dick.

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12/12 @ 5:00 PM
TheDailyShow - The Best F#king News Team Ever at the Best F#king Holiday Party Ever. @photoboothpopup #popsocial http://t.co/gPBfn6d18y

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12/12 @ 9:19 AM
TheDailyShow - It's the final day to win an interview with Jon on The Daily Show. Enter by tonight: http://t.co/3sdNJMirns http://t.co/4Gyh1NL7kR

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12/12 @ 9:18 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Native Americans allowed to grow pot on land. So we're even now, right?

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12/11 @ 10:55 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Young Americans joining ISIS, not finding it as "totes fun" as advertised.

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12/11 @ 8:18 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Facebook plans 'drunk filter' to stop embarrassing posts. Racist posts from people you knew in high school still okay.

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12/11 @ 6:30 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Mumps outbreak hits NHL. League is just happy to be getting some press.

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12/11 @ 9:32 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Delta introduces 5-tier flight class system. Although fifth tier is not so much "on" the flight as pushing it from behind.

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12/10 @ 10:50 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! We rank the holiday season's best candy canes! Just kidding. We talk about torture again.

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12/10 @ 8:30 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Ebola fighters named Time Mag's "Person of The Year." Also named New York Mag's "Least Hugged Person Of The Year."

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12/10 @ 6:40 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Instagram is now bigger than Twitter. A desperate Twitter now allowing 141 characters. 142! What's it gonna take, baby?

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12/10 @ 12:33 PM
TheDailyShow - "What's going to happen if you're a hypocrite atheist? You're going to go to not-Hell?" - @jordanklepper http://t.co/9fWkyDhAaX

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12/10 @ 11:49 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Google says shift to cloud is 'accelerating'. Or put another way, 'the opposite of what Google glass sales are doing.'

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12/9 @ 10:47 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight! Finally the CIA's interrogation report is out, and the torture of waiting is over! #BadWordChoice

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12/9 @ 9:00 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Left-handed people earn less than right-handed ones. Turns out paychecks offered to the right hand. #TheyKeepDroppingThem

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12/9 @ 7:50 PM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Pres. Of Zimbabwe fires VP after murder plot claim, yet still can't pinpoint source of trust issues in therapy session.

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12/9 @ 1:05 PM
TheDailyShow - Tonight: Jon welcomes Kathryn Bigelow and Juan Zarate. Their new PSA is #LastDays. 11/10c. http://t.co/1vW09H2yDI

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12/9 @ 8:06 AM
TheDailyShow - #TDSBreakingNews Poll: 75% of Americans more informed b/c of web news sites. 60% "can't even" after seeing video of a kitten scared of fly.

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