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NikkiGlaser on Twitter

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http://www.twitter.com/NikkiGlaser
10/23 @ 3:38 PM
NikkiGlaser - I've never been fingered by a guy in a scream mask. just sayin.

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10/22 @ 10:36 PM
NikkiGlaser - #Upskirt http://t.co/1rFzp6CUmx

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10/22 @ 3:37 PM
NikkiGlaser - Just when I thought I couldn't like her more! RT @usweekly Watch 13-year-old Kim Kardashian ranting that she's "the dopest" and "so popular"

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10/22 @ 1:13 PM
NikkiGlaser - Old angry man at bank: "it's like George W Bush said, 'fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me!" He misquoted him CORRECTLY.

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10/21 @ 9:11 PM
NikkiGlaser - wonder what that chick with the fake third tit is up to lately

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10/21 @ 5:53 PM
NikkiGlaser - Many female rappers use a vocal technique called "speed-talking to a cute wittle bunny wunny".

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10/20 @ 9:08 PM
NikkiGlaser - #WipeIt @midnight @nerdist http://t.co/4sUKSD9rlw

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10/20 @ 3:15 PM
NikkiGlaser - What is everyone cosplaying as for All Hallow's Comic Con?

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10/20 @ 2:56 AM
NikkiGlaser - Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett should just fuck already.

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10/20 @ 1:32 AM
NikkiGlaser - Poor SARS...

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10/19 @ 9:34 PM
NikkiGlaser - ???????????? @AndyRichter http://t.co/78FAlovJg6

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10/19 @ 9:11 PM
NikkiGlaser - Sorry, cat people. The results are in... http://t.co/atencHAmXm

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10/19 @ 2:45 PM
NikkiGlaser - As someone who once declared, "I love running!", trust me when I say we're all lying.

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10/19 @ 12:36 AM
NikkiGlaser - I relate to Taylor Swift's song "Fifteen" more than her song "22". And I'm 30, so neither should really do anything for me...

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10/18 @ 8:20 PM
NikkiGlaser - Just licked fro yo off my phone, yo.

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10/18 @ 7:49 PM
NikkiGlaser - .@wyattcenac congrats on Ashton and Mila naming their baby after you!

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10/18 @ 3:27 PM
NikkiGlaser - New podcast, y'all! #WeKnowNothing http://t.co/IFsmtiiZBH w/ @anyamarina & @PhilMhanley

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10/18 @ 2:33 AM
NikkiGlaser - BIRDMAN Review: Sat next to a girl whose stomach growled non-stop for two hours.

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10/17 @ 2:07 PM
NikkiGlaser - I finally watched the doc, Women Aren't Funny. It was so damn good. Bravo @bonniemcfarlane and @RichVos. See it.

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10/17 @ 8:49 AM
NikkiGlaser - Current Fact: Every baby is named Aiden, Lily, Ava, or Ella.

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10/17 @ 8:44 AM
NikkiGlaser - "Aiden is so flexible. His teachers tell me all the time" - same girl

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10/17 @ 8:41 AM
NikkiGlaser - "Soccer? That won't last him past high school. But dance? He'll use those skills at weddings forever." - Girl at my gate on her son's future

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10/17 @ 8:04 AM
NikkiGlaser - I highly recommend listening to this show I did w/ @moshekasher @nickkroll & @ChrisRyanPhD. You'll laugh n' learn. http://t.co/JDmgJODsTZ

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10/15 @ 11:08 AM
NikkiGlaser - I am performing at Seneca Falls Casino tomorrow night. Do u know someone who lives near there? Tell them about it! http://t.co/rwdtzQwF4K

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10/13 @ 3:47 PM
NikkiGlaser - Please follow my bff @tomabrady. He's driving 15 hours today & the excitement of some new followers will keep him alert. He's also so funny.

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10/13 @ 1:22 PM
NikkiGlaser - DC. Free show tonight at The Kennedy Center. http://t.co/RJlBVTX7IB

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10/13 @ 1:45 AM
NikkiGlaser - Guy friends, thanks for never telling me when my eyeliner is all fucked up.

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10/12 @ 11:26 PM
NikkiGlaser - DC! Tomorrow night. Kennedy Center. 6pm. http://t.co/RJlBVTX7IB

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10/11 @ 2:44 PM
NikkiGlaser - LONG ISLAND. Two shows tonight 7 & 9:30. @McGuiresComedy http://t.co/Hpq4PBq3ds

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10/11 @ 1:37 AM
NikkiGlaser - I don't know what to believe about Amanda Bynes in a post-Gone Girl world.

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10/10 @ 2:10 PM
NikkiGlaser - Long Island tonight and tomorrow with my brother, @tomabrady. Come to a show. Your presence will make this more fun. @McGuiresComedy

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10/9 @ 10:28 PM
NikkiGlaser - I just liked one of @taylorswift13's Instagram pics and smiled warmly to myself like we're close friends.

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10/9 @ 6:02 PM
NikkiGlaser - I love you, @kristenschaaled. http://t.co/ov10qc9fRI

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10/9 @ 11:34 AM
NikkiGlaser - Long Island! I will be performing at @McGuiresComedy this weekend! Come! http://t.co/lW2XmSvbmO

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10/9 @ 12:22 AM
NikkiGlaser - "Shake It Off" is very empowering for women, especially while stuck in a stall without toilet paper.

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10/8 @ 10:59 AM
NikkiGlaser - My mom didn't let me watch Dawson's Creek when I was young, but encouraged me to watch 7th Heaven. What a perv!!

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10/8 @ 8:25 AM
NikkiGlaser - I will be on VH1 live in a half hour with @NickLachey and @MichelleButeau. I forgot to tell my parents. #VH1Buzz

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10/8 @ 1:22 AM
NikkiGlaser - My therapist just texted me a blank bubble out of nowhere, and I'm like "I see what she means".

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10/7 @ 9:17 PM
NikkiGlaser - God, you took the wrong cast member... http://t.co/E78owFkNw6

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10/7 @ 11:04 AM
NikkiGlaser - I love @CONAN. http://t.co/PEDqADs3CN

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