Hugging Actors At Stage Door

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#26
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:03pm

"Maybe, it's possible that the actor initiates it. But I think the first one is more likely. I haven't seen many actors do this, except maybe Christy Altomare? "

I looked at the picture I have of my wife and two daughters with her and she has her hand placed on the shoulder of one of my daughters but I would not call that a hug. She was probably just trying to get everyone closer so they fit into the picture.

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#27
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:07pm

You have to wonder about some people. These actors are nice enough to sign your Playbill and sometimes take a picture with you, they are not your friends and trying to hug them is so out of bounds IMO.

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#28
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:11pm

haterobics said: "SweetLips22 said: "If I know someone in the cast I NEVER go back stage. I do what normal friends do, chat on the phone and meet wherever suits but never at their place of work."

Hmm, usually people I know have said to be sure to come backstage after the show?!
"

I have gone back stage twice to see a friend[invited],but never again. It is frantic, others getting off[?] makeup and rushing to get home, the chatter is false and the stage disguise is being wiped away in front of you. No thanks. I ring next day.

amandap213
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#29
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:33pm

i've had several occasions where an actor has initiated a hug! christy altomare has initiated millions of hugs. and even some actors at mean girls have initiated hugs with me! i think it depends on the actor. and asking for one beforehand definitely helps, but going in for a hug WITHOUT asking is highkey gross.

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PatrickDC
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#30
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:41pm

This thread reminds me of Christmas Eve 20 years ago. I was a practicing Catholic at the time, and was volunteering after Mass to clean up the pews. Chita was touring in KISS... at the time. After Mass she and a couple women were milling around the nearly empty dimly lit church looking at the stained glass and statues. We met in an aisle and I chatted briefly with her, about how much I enjoyed KISS... a few nights earlier, and the tour of CAN-CAN with the Rockettes a few years earlier. She seemed tickled that we chatted and not sure why but I hugged her and wished her Merry Christmas. Her response, not crushing but definitely a close, long embrace seemed to say it was ok I initiated it. Fun memory all these years later. 

PhantomOfFleetStreet
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#31
Posted: 6/3/19 at 10:58pm
Yeah I feel awkward asking for selfies at the stage door (especially when it's crowded, then I usually won't even bother), let alone asking for a hug. It's always a pleasant surprise when an actor initiates a hug though. I've gotten hugs from Christy Altomare, Karen Olivo, Andrew Rannells, Hugh Dancy, Anthony Boyle, and Damon Daunno. My favorite was Damon who is probably the friendliest actor I've met at a stage door. He greeted every fan like a bff he hasn't seen in a while (it helped that there were only 8 of us that night but still).
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#32
Posted: 6/3/19 at 11:52pm

PhantomOfFleetStreet said: "It's always a pleasant surprise when an actor initiates a hug though."

This is so true. When I saw Dear Evan Hansen Off-Broadway, I was talking to Laura Dreyfuss about how much the show meant to me (which is a LOT), and next thing I know, she pulls me in for a big bear hug (not like a side hug or anything). It can be a wonderful moment to share with an actor...as long as they initiate it.

JuneJune
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#33
Posted: 6/4/19 at 2:50am
Never been hugged by an actor. Closest I've had to a hug was an actor or actress putting their arm around me when I ask for a photo, which is always a pleasant surprise.

But speaking of putting your arm around someone, I think that that's inappropriate too (a fan towards an actor).

The thought only occurred to me recently because I saw a picture of a fan with his arm around Sophia Anne Caruso kinda pulling her in, but regardless of an actor's age, I think a good rule of thumb is just to not touch at all. Call me reserved, but that's just my thoughts.
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#34
Posted: 6/4/19 at 5:02am

magictodo123 said: "I think it is only okay under two circumstances:

You ask before it happens.

Maybe, it's possible that the actor initiates it. But I think the first one is more likely. I haven't seen many actors do this, except maybe Christy Altomare?

ALWAYS, ALWAYS ask permission first. If they say no, that's it.
"

Donna Murphy also initiates hugs with her fans sometimes, usually at the end of a conversation at stage door (and she is very much a talker/listener there). But a fan initiating just seems like a major violation of personal space and boundaries, even if it's a young person/kid.

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#35
Posted: 6/4/19 at 5:48am

Tom5 said: "As I mentioned before I wonder how many tickets must be sold on a daily basis to pay for the cars and limos the producers must provide for the actors to get them away from the theater unharassed."

 

Except there are very few actors this is done for. 

If we're not having fun, then why are we doing it? These are DISCUSSION boards, not mutual admiration boards. Discussion only occurs when we are willing to hear what others are thinking, regardless of whether it is alignment to our own thoughts.
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kdogg36
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#36
Posted: 6/4/19 at 8:35am

amandap213 said: "i've had several occasions where an actor has initiated a hug! christy altomare has initiated millions of hugs. and even some actors at mean girls have initiated hugs with me! i think it depends on the actor. and asking for one beforehand definitely helps, but going in for a hug WITHOUT asking is highkey gross."

I'm honestly puzzled that several people on this thread have expressed some combination of "hugging strangers without asking is bad" and "it's okay if the actor initiates it," apparently unaware of the contradiction here. I think the rule should be don't hug strangers without asking, and the situation is entirely symmetrical between actor and fan. (And great discretion must be exercised in even deciding to ask.)

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#37
Posted: 6/4/19 at 8:44am

"I'm honestly puzzled that several people on this thread have expressed some combination of "hugging strangers without asking is bad" and "it's okay if the actor initiates it," apparently unaware of the contradiction here. I think the rule should be don't hug strangers without asking, and the situation is entirely symmetrical between actor and fan. (And great discretion must be exercised in even deciding to ask.)"

Good point. If I was an actor, I could not imagine hugging a fan. I am being more than nice by signing program, taking a picture and pleasantly exchanging a few words.

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clearastheday
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#38
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:04am
The only time I’ve hugged an actor (or in this situation, was the one being hugged by the actor) was at the stagedoor for the Wicked 2NT last summer. No barricades were set up, and it was late at night, so I was the only audience member waiting there. Mary Kate Morrissey was the one to initiate the hug after I rambled about her great performance and how much I can relate to Elphaba. I can’t remember if she asked if I wanted a hug or not, but I was definitely okay with it. It wasn’t awkward at all, since she was more than willing to take a few photos with me and continue our conversation about the show for a few more minutes.

That one moment was obviously “an exception to the rule”, IMO. I’d feel very uncomfortable hugging an actor in a crowded environment/at a stagedoor with barricades even if I had permission from them. If I didn’t have permission, then I think it’s definitely an overstepping of bounderies and a violation of personal space.
ArtMan
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#39
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:08am

Kind of on subject.  When I would go to tapings of The View when Meredith Viera (a really sweet, nice lady) was still on the show, when leaving, saying goodbye to the audience, she would kiss the fans on the lips.  She initiated it.  I cringed every time I saw it, thinking that was really personal on her part.  Also, back on the real subject, many times at the stage door, I had actors and actresses insist I should be in the picture with them when asking for a photo request.  I didn't like this, because I didn't trust others  working my camera, and didn't want a picture with my head cut off.  Almost always, they would put their arm around me, first, initiating the action.  Some were bigger stars like Michelle Williams.

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#40
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:14am

"Kind of on subject.  When I would go to tapings of The View when Meredith Viera (a really sweet, nice lady) was still on the show, when leaving, saying goodbye to the audience, she would kiss the fans on the lips.  She initiated it.  I cringed every time I saw it, thinking that was really personal on her part."

Wow, I agree with you totally. I don't believe you should go around kissing fans and if for some reason you did it the kiss should be on the cheek.

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#41
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:16am

I think it's all about communication. Each stage door experience will be different but I think it best if security sets the boundaries and informs the fans on what to expect (no selfies, no touching, no hugging) then there wouldn't be a need for a fan to ask if it's possible to hug or if it's ok to do a selfie.

 

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#42
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:19am

"Also, back on the real subject, many times at the stage door, I had actors and actresses insist I should be in the picture with them when asking for a photo request.  "

I am not sure but my guess the reason they want you in the picture is because they think you might do something with that picture they may not approve of and the chance of that happening is less if you are in the picture. I could be wrong but it is the only thing that makes sense to me about them insisting you are in picture.

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#43
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:26am
I’m friendly with Christy Altomare. At the final performance of Anastasia I was one of the first people she said hi to at the stage door, and we immediately went in for a hug at the same time. I felt so awkward because then I thought she was going to pull away but the hug latest longer than I thought it would! Just a memory.
Brian07663NJ
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#44
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:28am

And people get annoyed and question why actors don't want to stage door? Behavior at the stage door has entirely gotten out of hand. Shaking my head. I read this post a few days ago and still when I see this subject (hugging actors) pop up it annoys me. Just because we form an emotional bond with them from our seat after watching a performance does NOT mean one has been mutually formed from them to us. This is entirely creepy and validates why actors might want to avoid the stage door.

yankeefan7
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#45
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:29am

"I’m friendly with Christy Altomare. At the final performance of Anastasia I was one of the first people she said hi to at the stage door, and we immediately went in for a hug at the same time. I felt so awkward because then I thought she was going to pull away but the hug latest longer than I thought it would! Just a memory."

You obviously have some type of relationship with her so that is totally different. Like you said, you both went in for the hug so the feeling was mutual.

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#46
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:45am

yankeefan7 said: ""Also, back on the real subject, many times at the stage door, I had actors and actresses insist I should be in the picture with them when asking for a photo request. "

I am not sure but my guess the reason they want you in the picture is because they think you might do something with that picture they may not approve of and the chance of that happening is less if you are in the picture. I could be wrong but it is the only thing that makes sense to me about them insisting you are in picture.
"

I agree.  I always thought that would be the reason.  

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#47
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:48am

dramamama611 said: "Tom5 said: "As I mentioned before I wonder how many tickets must be sold on a daily basis to pay for the cars and limos the producers must provide for the actors to get them away from the theater unharassed."



Except there are very few actors this is done for.
"

And it is part of their "compensation" package.   

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#48
Posted: 6/4/19 at 9:53am

Which one of the four actors in Meteor Shower had to hail their own cab? Maybe Laura?

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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#49
Posted: 6/4/19 at 10:33am
Unless they hug you first ....
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Hugging Actors At Stage Door#50
Posted: 6/4/19 at 10:52am
Oof, it’s cringey that hugging someone at the stage door isn’t an immediate, obvious no-no. I don’t even take pictures with people because I feel it’s a bit weird. They’re people, not famous landmarks to get a photo with. Granted, asking for autographs is also an odd thing we’ve all grown accustomed to and I’m guilty of doing that so go figure.

The only thing I’ve done at the stage door that was outside of a conversation or an autograph was asking if I could shake someone’s hand as a gesture of respect and admiration.