Student Blog: Falling Into Change

As the chilly autumn wind blows into Boston, it’s inspired me to do a lot of reflecting, but a lot of looking forward, too. This past year has been full of new experiences, but each one has helped me grow and see things differently than before. I’m starting to realize that college isn’t really about having all the answers, but about learning and growing with each new season.

This semester, I have been reflecting on where I am this year and how I'm evolving and changing as a human and as an artist. Looking back at last fall, I was a freshman who was so nervous and scared about going to college so far away from home, in a completely new environment. But, I realized that almost everyone around me felt the same way I did, and that we were all navigating this shift together. As the weeks went on, little things began to shift and grow. I was able to uncover new routines, new faces, and new discoveries in classes that opened me up to a place where I felt free to explore within my art and myself. Navigating life on your own for the very first time isn’t easy, but finding things that keep you grounded and excited about what you do makes all the difference.

I thought sophomore year would feel completely different, but in ways, I'm finding familiarity in routine. Still, there are always new things to discover. Last year, I was focused on just getting through and surviving the changes, but this year, I’ve found that I’ve been paying more attention to the ways I grow from those changes. One of the more important things I’ve learned has been really listening to what I need, physically and mentally. Last year, I wanted to meet everyone and do everything, and I filled every moment, even on weekends. Eventually, I realized I was running on empty, especially on top of the conservatory program's demands. Now, I am learning that sometimes growth means saying yes to things, and other times it means slowing down and giving myself a break, which can be equally as valuable.

This semester has been about finding balance for me, which definitely isn’t easy. Some days, I'm in class from 9 in the morning until 7 at night, and it can start to feel like a lot. For me, it’s crucial to find the little things that help me relax and unwind after a long day, or even small moments to reset during the day. In a way, those little pauses remind me of the changing seasons. Just as fall slowly changes the air, I've learned that change doesn't always happen in big moments, but rather in small changes and quiet in-betweens when I can catch my breath and refill my well.

My goals and perspectives are constantly changing, especially given the evolving theatre industry, and I think it’s important to keep an open mind. Every time I'm in my acting or Musical Theatre class, I try to look at art in a new way. Whether it be a new monologue, scene, or song I'm looking at for the first time, I try to remind myself to try something new - to maybe make a big, bold choice that I’m not used to making. This is definitely easier said than done, and it takes a lot of work to get to. As an artist, I find myself constantly wanting perfection and for things to be polished and clean. The more I learn into the mess, the more discoveries I make, and the more I start to get comfortable in the unknown. I’ve also discovered that setting goals for myself in different class settings and in my life has really helped me to feel more successful. Oftentimes, I find myself setting unattainable goals for the present moment, which then makes me feel like I am falling behind when I don’t accomplish them. Instead, I started setting goals in my classes on a day-to-day basis. In acting, we talk a lot about our “artistic agendas”, which push us to focus on one main thing we want to accomplish in our work in class. With this, it becomes less about doing everything perfectly and more about taking one intentional step forward each day, helping me to see my work more as a process and less as a performance.

As the semester comes to an end and the season begins shifting, I'm learning to move with the change; welcoming what's familiar, trusting what's new, and staying curious about what's ahead. I’m learning that growth is not simply a moment, but a process, and I'm only just beginning.