Student Blog: Finally Listening to the Voice: My Journey to a Career in Musical Theater

Hi, my name is Angelina, and for this article, I wanted to tell my story about what motivated me to recently switch my career focus to Musical Theater instead of my originally intended path of Flute Performance. I think this is the most vulnerable I’ve ever been on the internet but that’s the fun of doing something new! Thank you for being here and wanting to hear my story :)

Introduction

Every year of my childhood, on the first day of school, I always found myself lying awake at 4AM, unable to fall back asleep. I never knew why- maybe it was the adrenaline and excitement of what felt like a “fresh start”. The excitement of looking forward to the future.

Around my junior year of high school, the 4am staring contest with the ceiling on the first day of school finally stopped. They didn’t happen for the rest of high school, and for the start of college. I was happy to get a full night of sleep before the first day of school now, but I did still wonder… why did they stop? 

My Childhood

When I was little, I wanted to be a ballerina. That was my first dream. When I was 3, I was signed up for dance classes, and I immediately fell in love with it. I was the little kid on stage, taking bows to the applause as the others ran off the stage. And I never fell out of love with it- I started dancing competitively at 7, and performed at various events, recitals, and about 16 years of “The Nutcracker” throughout my childhood, where I probably have played (almost) every role (still petty I didn’t play Clara).

I also always loved to sing. I took a few voice lessons when I was younger, and was in my middle school choir. I’ll never forget getting to sing my first full solo song at my 7th grade concert (yes, it was “Bright” by Echosmith). I got involved in Musical Theater through a summer camp in Florida, where I played the starring role of “Annie” (for one scene). 

Near the end of middle school, I started growing deeply insecure about my singing voice. I always said I simply didn’t like the sound of it, and I stopped singing for a while. Deep down, I always loved it, but I couldn’t bear singing, especially in front of people, throughout the first couple years of High School. 

I also picked up the Flute when I was in elementary and middle school. When I felt insecure about my singing, I thought of the flute as my voice, which is ultimately what encouraged me to apply to college for Flute Performance. Because that felt like the most comfortable way for me to tell my story. Since I knew I loved Musical Theater, I decided that I would still minor in it, just in case I ever found the confidence to try it out.

Going to College: Introduction to "The Voice"

Before I knew it, I was in my freshman year at Berklee College of Music. And everything was going great! I was taking my first private lesson on the flute, learning about new styles of music, and meeting so many passionate people. I was a flautist, and I was on my way to being a great one. 

Berklee has a LOT of singers. And they’re all incredibly talented. I think I always had an envy for them and the fact that they felt enough courage in their voice to pursue it as their main instrument. I would tell people that “I don’t sing” or “I sing a little bit”. But it was okay because that’s why I was a flautist. Because I didn’t sing.

One day in November, I was practicing the flute, and all of a sudden there was a small voice in my head. I remember it asking me: “If you put this much effort into singing, could you be a good singer too?”. It was easy to disregard at first, because I was happy playing the flute. I didn’t sing. That was in my past.

On November 27th, I got an advertisement on my phone about prescreen deadlines for BFA programs, and that was my first career spiral. I was feeling drained in the practice room, so I texted my mom. I’ve attached the text message I sent to my mom that day. She was able to easily convince me that I was just tired and overthinking, which was fair since it was my first semester in college.

The voice never really disappeared after that, though. I took Musical Theater classes starting in my second semester, as well as continuing voice lessons with a teacher over Skype that I took in high school. I think all of this forced me to step out of my comfort zone, and essentially discover my singing voice. I also started getting involved with the theater clubs around campus, and performed in musicals and other theater events. For the first time in my life, I started feeling comfortable singing with people.

Finally Following the Voice

During my junior year of college, as I started to think about what my goals would be after graduating from college, I noticed the voice starting to get louder. For some reason, when I was told to envision what my life would be like after college, I would tell people that being in a symphony orchestra or playing as a session musician was what I saw myself doing. But I also caught myself deeply envying many of the influencers trying to make ends meet as an actor in New York. I started envisioning myself in their position, and that vision seemed to start overpowering the words I felt I had to say about my assumed post-graduate visions.

I also started to get heavily burnt out by the flute. It felt like whenever I practiced, I was on autopilot. And when I was told to “find my why” for inspiration, I would go blank. It took me some time to realize, I didn’t know. Did I lose it? Did I never have it to begin with?

So I went to a couple of appointments with my school’s provided counseling. And there was one appointment specifically that made me stop in my tracks. The counselor asked me, “What do you like about playing the flute?” And I thought for a second, before I said: “I like the community that comes with making music, and the thrill of performing”. Then he asked me again: “No, what do you like about playing the flute?”. And right then, I realized that when I no longer had an answer, something was different. The flute was my voice for my entire life, and that’s why I used to enjoy it. But why didn’t it feel like my voice anymore?

I did a performance for an original piece on the flute near the middle of the semester, and was sent into a spiral when I realized that the thrill of performing that I mentioned during counseling was gone. Then I performed for the two musical theater shows I was in. (this is important!)

Every time I would go to the career center at my school to evaluate my next steps, I was always told that since I played the Flute and liked Musical Theater, I should play in a pit orchestra. I’ve been told that more times than I can count on my fingers. Of course, I always joked that I would be too envious of the actors.

In November 2025, I performed in the cast for my first TYA production, which is where I realized I still had the thrill of performing. 

And in December 2025, I was in a production of “The Addams Family”. And this is a moment I’ll never forget. The stage was laid out with the Pit Orchestra behind the stage, meaning the cast would pass them to get to the other side of the stage. I was in the middle of tech week, standing backstage waiting for us to start, and I was looking at the pit orchestra warming up and practicing their parts. Suddenly, the voice, louder than ever, said something I’ll never forget: “Shouldn’t you want to be there?”. But I didn’t. I truly didn’t.

I was brought back to my childhood in that moment. I realized that all along, I had opportunities to be in the pit orchestra in my high school theater productions, or to join the jazz band or youth orchestra instead of committing so much to dancing. But I ALWAYS chose to be in the cast. Right there was when I decided to choose myself again.

On that note, I spent my Winter Break changing my major from Flute Performance to Professional Music, and changing my schedule to emphasize musical theater and dance classes in my schedule. I’ve been submitting auditions for professional opportunities and continuing to get involved in the theater community at my school.  And I’m finally singing again.

What's Next?

I still love the flute deeply. I still appreciate how much time and energy I put into it, and hope to continue playing in addition to my Musical Theater career. Maybe I’ll freelance on the side with performances and sessions, or join a community orchestra if I have any free time. But I have found myself enjoying it so much more when I play it as another musical outlet, and not as the main contributor to my career.

When thinking about my next steps, I’m still not too sure. Maybe I’ll go for a Master’s, or maybe I’ll move to New York and try to work first. But for now, I’m going to breathe it all in and take the first step to making the life I know I’ve dreamed of. To just start.

With all of this, I should mention that I’ve never been more terrified. Growing into my voice is a journey I’m still in the middle of, and I think I will be for a while. I have never been so unsure of what comes next in my life, or why I was given this voice and this dream. But I’ve never felt more like myself through it all, and I’ve never been more excited to take this journey.

Last Remarks

If you have that same voice in your head, that voice is there for a reason. Definitely don't ignore it. I’ll be honest, I’m still not quite sure what the reason is for me, but I’m excited to find out. You got this, and I’m rooting for you.

And, in case you were wondering why I mentioned the 4am story at the top of this article, after deciding to change my major and switch my career, this month, for my sixth semester of college, I found myself, once again, staring at the ceiling at 4:00 in the morning, unable to fall back asleep. For the first time since junior year of high school. It must have been the adrenaline and excitement of a “fresh start”. The excitement of finally feeling aligned with myself again, and looking forward to the future.