Blocked By The Boys In The Band - Now Planning Peaceful Opening Night Protest

[Matthew C Paessler]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:12pm

Last week, when the new Broadway production of The Boys In The Band posted their first promotional video, I (as a biracial gay man living in Trump's America) was disappointed to see my heroes and men I admired claiming "inclusion" and "diversity," speaking out for the gay community in dangerous times when everyone is under attack. I immediately called it out on social media and was almost instantly blocked by the Boys in the Band social media account - I assume for want of avoiding negative press. 

I took the time to educate myself about the play. I've read the play and watched the movie a few times now. Despite the time period and despite the one plot point in the play where a specific race is required, I see absolutely no reason for an almost identical looking cast. In this day and age, I think it's a dangerous message to show young gay men that there is only way to look when you are gay.

I've continued to speak out on social media and have since been blocked from following Zachary Quinto, Andrew Rannels, and Jim Parsons on Instagram. I've decided to not give up and I'd like to share my story. Here's a little bit about me, my history and why I have a problem with this revival. 

Last year I did what I now lovingly refer to as a "Reverse Wizard of Oz." After 8 years of living in New York City, I decided to go back to my small hometown of Johnson City, TN to do some digging. I had lost my way in New York. I moved here to perform in 2009 and found my love of songwriting while touring but after a ****ty breakup and Trump, I found my drive to create completely gone.

Meanwhile back on the ranch in Tennessee, I took the much-needed time to go back home and review my childhood but this time, through an adult lens. I lived in the room I grew up in. I worked down the street from my high school. I reminded myself what it was like to be 16 in the conservative south but this time, in Trump’s America - grappling with my race and my sexuality. I realized just how hard it actually was and how strong I actually am.

I first knew I was gay when I opened a letter from my Grandma who had sent me her Playbill from The Lion King on Broadway. She had just taken a trip to New York City and since I'm adopted and the only person of color in my family, she was always looking for ways to show me successful people who looked like me. She loved the musical and couldn't believe how diverse the cast was and I couldn’t believe that I was holding a real life program from Broadway. I had begun acting in local theater when I was eight and quickly became enamored with life on the stage.

I excitedly flipped through the magazine and came to the page with the pictures of the ensemble cast and a certain gazelle or bird or something caught my eye. “Wow, he’s cute,” I thought. Followed quickly by, “Oh my gosh - what did I just think?” I was ten years old.

I came out to my parents four years later after getting a computer in my room for the first time. That night I was googling (or Asking Jeeves more likely) “How to tell your mom that you’re gay.” I quickly shut the screen when she walked in the room but she insisted I reopen the screen and show her what I had been looking at. Fearing, no doubt, that I had discovered car washing and boobs - what I assume my straight counterparts were asking the butler to deliver.

That night, we sat on my bedroom floor and reflected on all the red flags. The worn out Annie soundtrack, my lack of interest in a pop gun she had gotten me when I was two, my obsession with Baby Spice, singing show tunes in the driveway while twirling an umbrella - maybe it did actually all add up.

I felt validated and secure in myself for a few years then. I had a boyfriend at fourteen and my parents would drive us to the movies and we would make out in the seats and write each other notes in class. Everything was normal. I had conquered being gay. I didn’t understand older characters like Will Truman who struggled with their sexuality. I knew friends who were kicked out of their homes but I was safe. My parents loved me - they even loved my boyfriends!

It was Junior year when I realized that I hadn’t learned everything about being Different in America yet. I had just won my high school student government Vice Presidential race (third year in a row) and my opponent was not pleased. One afternoon on the computer in my room, I found a Xanga entry she had written online calling me a sissy faggot n*. I didn’t tell anyone. I kept it to myself and spent the summer thinking about what that meant. How was I supposed to suddenly be a **** faggot n* when all my life I thought I had just been Matthew? I drove my new car and smoked weed for the first time. I went to a college party and drank for the first time. I broke up and fell in love and had a crush on a douchey straight guy. I tried doing everything my peers were doing but suddenly I felt deeply alone in my experiences. I didn’t have any black friends. The black kids I knew said I wasn’t black enough and the white kids that didn’t like me thought I was too black. No matter what I did - I wasn’t pleasing anybody.

A week into my junior year I decided that I couldn’t take the stress and I asked my mom if I could homeschool for my last two years of high school and I let the bullies win. I got to go to four days of my junior year. I never went to prom. I didn't get to walk the stage at graduation. This spring, I probably won’t go to my ten year reunion. There’s Facebook now, so I’m sure I’ll be aware of it - but I remember at the time thinking, “I won’t graduate - they won’t have my contact information. I’ll never see my friends again.”

Moving to New York in 2009 was truly like stepping into a Technicolor world for the first time. I went to theatre school and cried about my exes in front of the class. I got drunk and lost downtown. I made out with an old cast member from Cats. I was living my wildest dreams. I watched the landscape of the gay community change. I watched shows like Noah’s Arc, Looking, Glee, and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt show a diverse group of gay men that weren’t defined by their sexuality, color, or body type.

I would venture to guess that the production working on the Broadway revival of The Boys in the Band will say that I’m missing the point. That my argument is the reason why they’re mounting the production and the reason for their casting decisions. To them, I would quote a line said to Michael, the protagonist of the play:

I am a sad, pathetic gay man. I am a homosexual and there’s nothing I can do about it.

When I was fourteen I begged my mother to let me go to conversion therapy. When I was sixteen I tried to bleach my hair to play Rolf in community theatre production of The Sound of Music and then was completely humiliated when I realized that my half whiteness had a limit. I spent so much of my life begging to be something I'm just not. I lived mostly in their world - but there was a point where the line had to be drawn. And like yeah, I get it, I probably wouldn’t cast me as a Nazi youth either - but The Boys in the Band has no race limitations. It has no size limitations. 

We have set the race limitations by continuing to have a narrow view. We have to get woke. I am a modern day Michael. I am the hostile fag. I’ve struggled with self acceptance. Just last year, I exiled myself to my hometown - calling myself a failure, a loser, a nobody. I had to finally click my heels together three times and realize that the answer was there along.

My name is Matthew. I am who I am. The gay community is diverse. I don't understand how this group of men could honestly stand around and congratulate themselves on a job well done when I feel as if this production is sending a very dangerous message to all the ten-year-old gay boys growing up in small towns that are brown or Asian or overweight or maybe not the perfect model image of a tall, athletic, white man. It just holds us back.

The play's history is undeniably historic and I am so inspired and in awe of the work that Marty Crowley was able to accomplish at the time. However, I think the play has not aged well and is almost a minstrel show of the gay community. A show that should be remembered for his legacy but treated cautiously when trying to execute. 

I normally am not a vocal person about things like this- but I have really taken this matter to heart and will be organizing a peaceful protest on opening night. Check this post for updates. 

Updated On: 1/30/18 at 06:12 PM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:21pm

How about we see the show first before we start protesting it.

Updated On: 1/30/18 at 06:21 PM

[Dollypop]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:26pm

I read this all the way through. I'm deeply touched by it but don't know how to respond.

[BroadwayConcierge]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:29pm

Matthew C Paessler said: "A show that should be remembered for his legacy but treated cautiously when trying to execute."

The production doesn't even start previews for another three months and you're already suggesting it will be dishonorable?

Also, if you're really concerned about the racial makeup of this cast, are Robin de Jesús and Michael Benjamin Washington invisible to you?

I genuinely empathize with your story in coming to terms with your identity.

But I genuinely do not believe protesting the opening night of this show is going lead to anything fruitful for you or anybody else.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:31pm

This reminds me of the people who protested THE SCOTTSBORO BOYS and nobody really understood why they were there.

[Matthew C Paessler]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:38pm

BroadwayConcierge said: "Matthew C Paessler said: "A show that should be remembered for his legacy but treated cautiously when trying to execute."

The production doesn't even start previews for another three months and you're already suggesting itwill be dishonorable?

Also, if you're really concerned about the racialmakeup of thiscast, are Robin de Jesús and Michael Benjamin Washington invisible to you?

I genuinely empathize with your story in coming to terms with your identity.

But I genuinelydo not believeprotesting the opening night of this show is going lead to anything fruitful for you or anybody else."

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that the play will dishonorable. I don't think a play can be honorable or dishonorable - I just feel since the marketing is based on speaking for the gay community, the production featured gay men of all shapes, sizes and colors. I understand the time period of the play, but I won't get into debates on the merits of colorblind casting here as I'm sure it's already been discussed at length. (This play does not revolve around race or feature real-life characters) 

I am thankful for the inclusion of both Robin deJesus and Michael Benjamim Washington. I would have also liked to see an Asian actor, an overweight actor, a tan actor - what I'm getting at is I'd like to see diversity represented in the gay community just as it's represented in the straight community. 

I'll be happy with the peaceful protest as long as one person walks away taking even a minute to think about what I've said. That's all I'm really looking for. 

 

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:41pm

So every race and body type must be included in something now in order for people to not protest it?

Good to know.

[TotallyEffed]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:45pm

What kind of Tumblr nonsense is this?

[binau]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:45pm

So is the issue race or not race? The cast is at least 20% non-white and the USA population is approx. 28% non-white. Should we really be too concerned about race here?

[dramamama611]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:53pm

But you cant expect someone else to cast the show way you want. You want to cast it so every skin and body type is represented, go for it.

So, what if none of the Asians who audition are the best the role? You cast him anyway?

Protesting this just sounds silly.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:57pm

This is just some stupid ass “Everybody Gets A Trophy” nonsense.

[smidge]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 6:59pm

I feel like your time, energy and passion would be better utilized elsewhere. There are bigger, more important battles out there.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:04pm

The fact that this little boy is wanting to protest a big budget production of a show staring only famous OUT actors is proof that he has no idea what real battles in gay history are. .

[Patti LuPone FANatic]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:05pm

I think this "protest" is over-blown.  This is not the place to display all of your worries, life story and gripes about society.  You are making it seem more about you than anything else.   I get the sense you want to gather attention to your opinions...or just attention.  You have issues and BWW is not the place to deal with them.

[Cat Guy]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:05pm

Matthew C Paessler said: "Check this post for updates."

 

Uh, no.  I can well understand why you have been blocked on social media.  

 

Updated On: 1/30/18 at 07:05 PM

[haterobics]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:05pm

Why isn't this gay minstrel show more diverse?! Err... 

I think this comes down to the age-old issue. They didn't specifically cast white people. They cast famous people.

[nealb1]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:06pm

So many want their 15 minutes.......

[Matt Rogers]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:12pm

Get a grip, Matthew. You are projecting a lot of personal baggage onto this play.

And shouldn't we be celebrating the fact that it has an all gay cast rather than bitching and whining about everything else? This is one particular story about one group of friends. This is how Mart Crowley wrote it. You can certainly write your own play and have it cast however you want.

But your attack on this production that hasn't even gone into rehearsals yet is absolutely absurd.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:15pm

Matthew seems like the kind of little boy who wouldn’t watch Casablanca because of its lack of trans representation and would boycott a screening of it.

[yesraccoons]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:33pm

I cannot fully understand your struggle but I can do my best to empathize. I currently do and will continue to try understand what I never fully will. 

 

However, and maybe I'm one of the few who believes this, unless a role has a very specific requirement (IE, being Latinx is a huge plot point, the age of the person is very important, etc) I think they should just cast the best actor/actress for the role? A whole separate debate could be if the men cast in Boys in The Band are the best actors for these characters sure, but bottom line it should be who works best for the role.

 

Of course there is casting famous people for audiences, etc. But overall just pick the person who is the best? 

 

I feel like there might be more controversy if they changed the casting because of some of the racial plot elements. Take the new Heathers movie trailer, people are pretty pissed over that.

 

If you truly believe this is the right thing to do, then go ahead and do it. But don't be surprised that other people disagree or may not like what you are doing. Especially the actors who most likely are excited and dedicated to this role. 

[Matthew C Paessler]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:54pm

yesraccoons said: "I cannot fully understand your struggle but I can do my best to empathize. I currently do and will continue to try understand what I never fully will.

However, and maybe I'm one of the few who believes this, unless a role has a very specificrequirement(IE, being Latinx is a huge plot point, the age of the person is very important, etc) I think they should just cast the best actor/actress for the role? A whole separate debate could be if the men cast in Boys in The Band are the best actors for these characters sure, but bottom line it should be who works best for the role.

Of course there is casting famous people for audiences, etc. But overall just pick the person who is the best?

I feel like there might be more controversy if they changed the casting because of some of the racial plot elements. Take the new Heathers movie trailer, people are pretty pissed over that.

If you truly believe this is the right thing to do, then go ahead and do it. But don't be surprised that other people disagree or may not like what you are doing. Especially the actors who most likely are excited and dedicated to this role."

Thanks for that. I agree and hope that the best person for the job always gets it - whether it's a role on Broadway or a more average position in the workplace. I guess my point is, that the actors and producer involved in the production said they were celebrating the gay community - and to me, I didn't see my community fully represented by how unique, diverse and beautiful as it really is (even in the 60s). I'm not saying this is wrong - I'm saying maybe it could have been different. 

I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to hear that I loved the Heathers trailer and was so impressed with the team for making such a bold statement. I think all of the men involved here are talented, intelligent and innovative - and I also understand the need to sell tickets on Broadway and these are popular actors so I hope and I'm sure the show is (will be) a success for everyone involved. 

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 7:56pm

“I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to hear that I loved the Heathers trailer and was so impressed with the team for making such a bold statement.”

‘Nuff said.

[Someone in a Tree2]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 8:04pm

I find it absolutely extraordinary that this company for THE BOYS IN THE BAND is entirely made up of out proud gay men. That is about as revolutionary for a gay play as I can imagine, after the endless parade of LA CAGE productions and revivals on Bway that always starred straight actors as the lead couple. (The original company did feature replacements for Georges and Zaza who may have been gay actors, but they were gay actors who remained very securely in the closet at the time. So not much progress there.)

I appreciate the OP's search to recognize folks like himself up on a Broadway stage-- haven't we all experienced that search? (Mine goes back to the OBC of A CHORUS LINE when Paul began his stunning monologue.) Matthew, you are valid in pursuing that search. I think your anger at BOYS IN THE BAND is  misplaced, but your pursuit is one that everyone here on BWW has gone through.

[BroadwayRox3588]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 8:05pm

While I really hate that blocking is now the standard response to a challenge and/or voicing of an opposing opinion, I agree that this protest is just silly. Know what you're fighting for.

[Impeach2017]

Posted: 1/30/18 at 10:21pm

While all of the progress that has been made is being attacked daily along with outright threats being made against the community daily, we have now the spectacle of self-appointed members of the LGBT community wishing to apply a purity standard to everyone in said community.  Please excuse me if I don't share your enthusiasm for circular firing squads at this particular time-- we've got much worse demons out there that are real and scary as hell!