Student Blog: Fear of Failure

As any musical theatre program nears its end, several fears creep into the heads of young performers. One fear in particular lies among most students–especially those approaching their last year in school: the fear of failure. Breaking into the industry is challenging, and when you’ve known nothing but the structure of a protected school environment, it can be daunting to get into auditions, make your own training schedule, and balance survival jobs. And this doesn’t even begin to mention how difficult it can be to book a performing job when you’re starting out.

The concept of not “making it” is understandably terrifying for people who can’t imagine doing anything else but this career. These fears often spiral into comparing yourself with people who are quote-on-quote “successful”, and assuming you’re not talented enough to be like them. It is so easy to get trapped in the tortured artist’s narrative. Performing is subjective, it has no inherent structure, but the tortured artist makes you feel like there is a set of rules to art that you must not deviate from in order to be “as good” as the performers you admire. The antithesis of art is perfection, yet the tortured artist feels as though acting uses as much logic as rocket science. This isn’t to say that actors don’t have to be incredibly intelligent, in fact, I would argue the best actors I know are geniuses. I only say this because once a performer uses the analytical part of their brain over their intuition, it isn’t fun anymore. Art was never meant to be perfect. Yet actors fall into this ideology because their ego gets in the way, it becomes exhausting, and it sucks every bit of life out of their art. This is often why the phrase “If you want to do anything else in the world other than theatre, do it” goes around.

But if you can’t imagine doing anything else, acknowledge your fears. I’m not about to spew mantras about how you need to know your worth–I would be lying if I told you I didn’t still struggle with this. You can know that you are talented, but it doesn’t stop the little nagging anxieties in your head. The good news is- everyone is scared. It’s just a matter of how you deal with it. It’s a matter of how you fight to stay.

The first step is to keep going. Keep showing up and outwork the fear. Go to class, go to auditions, and submit self-tapes. Celebrate callbacks, even if you get cut, even if you don’t get the job. Focus on your progress and live in your joy and your power. This brings me to my next point. My acting teacher, Michael Minarik, always told us, “When you’re in an audition room, stay in the present and share your art.” Think about it this way: there are very few places you can sing in a room with a free accompanist. 

Auditions are the perfect place to ‘play’, and as soon as you start thinking like this, you give yourself power. These ideas are vital for performers, but the notion that you don’t have to be perfect all the time is significant in all aspects of life.

This fear of failure and the inner dialogue from the tortured artist is going to continue to show up every now and then, but you can’t give it a seat at the table. Challenging yourself to change the narrative and become a content artist is easier said than done, but the more you focus on growing, showing up for yourself, and finding the joy in your present life as a performer, the more transformative this idea is. At the end of the day, “success” in this industry means so much more than booking a job, it’s about the joy you find in the moments in between.

Photo Credit: Ian McQueen​​​/ianamphotos.com

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