Student Blog: Advice for My 14-Year-Old Self

I sat down with my 14-year-old self for coffee and she was baffled by the person I’ve become. Mostly, in a positive way. She has just begun the decade and doesn’t realize how wild the next few years of her life are going to be. A few things that aren’t on her bingo card: a global pandemic interrupting her musical theater journey a mere few months after it began, building a career in the arts, becoming a playwright, becoming a poet, writing blogs about all of the absurd things she’s done and been through, being a leader, burning out from blessings she acquired through being incredibly courageous. I tell her all of these things will happen to her and more. I know because now it’s nearly 2026, we are almost 21, and this is only the start of a new era for us.

She’s staring at me intensely because we are Autistic, but she masks far more heavily than I do and doesn’t want to appear rude. I can feel her headache developing so I tell her she can look down or even rest her head on the cafe table if she wants to. Now she’s staring at the floor and asking me for advice. There’s a lot I could say, but neither of us has the social battery for an hours-long conversation. So, I tell her these three things: 

1. You want community without courage, and courage without community. You can not have one without the other, and so you will be blessed with both if you can start by allowing yourself to have a voice. Don’t lose your courage, speak up! Sing! Stand by what you believe in! Connect with others through conversations and challenging yourself. The people you meet will often challenge you in positive ways and encourage you in ways that will change you for the better.

2. If something scares you, you should probably go for it. You want to be a better performer? Stop holding back. Dedicate yourself to trying new things and building courage performing in front of others. You want to get to know someone? Do it. They might change your life. You want to say something nice to someone? Go for it, it will probably make their day. You want a job? Go for it. You might just get it and if you don’t, something better might come along (like your dream internship.) You want to write a play? Go for it. It might end up getting produced and then earning you a spot on a list of changemaker creatives. You want to try poetry? Go for it, you might find community while sharing your work. You might also have an emotional impact on others through your words just as you did with your first play. Most of the time, you will regret what you don't do more than what you did.

3. Appreciate what you have. Don’t worry about phases, endings, and the temporary nature of things. Nothing lasts forever. Enjoy moments before they become memories. Enjoy opportunities, relationships, emotions. Remember why things and people are important to you before they are gone. Tell stories and enjoy memories when things are over. Grief and gratitude can co-exist. 

Of course, I can never tell my younger self these things. But she will learn these lessons over time. That's how I got to where I am now and I am so grateful for the growth and experiences I've had. I can't wait to see what I'll learn in 2026!