Nancy Opel is Fiddler's new Yente: 'It's a Privilege to Date'

Well, the big news on Broadway last night was that less than two days after the move was announced, Nancy Opel went on as Yente the matchmaker, replacing Barbara Barrie in Fiddler on the Roof. Although Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick did write a new song for Yente specifically for this production, I imagine a song written with Barbara Barrie in mind wouldn't show off the vocal range of Nancy Opel. So I humbly suggest this new song for Yente, using a melody from Ms. Opel's previous Broadway outing:

YOU'RE IN YENTE-TOWN:

It's a privilege to date.
Men are worth their weight in gold these days.
No more courtship like in olden days.
You come to me to find a mate
And it's a privilege to date.

Twenty years or maybe less,
And your attractiveness will all dry up.
You'll sit alone nights with your Kiddush cup
And never, ever procreate.
'Cause it's a privilege to date.

The rabbi told us this important news:
We all should marry Jews.
The rabbi said to go for butchers
Or maybe tailors.
You'll sure enjoy 'em,
But never goyem.

So send your children all to me.
I'll pair them up after you pay the sum.
Don't give me "digguh deedle daidle dum"
And how they want to love their mate
'Cause it's a privilege to date.

In Anatevka where the cossacks play
Our daughters must obey.
In Anatevka, we've traditions
We've had for ages.
No need to wreck 'em.
Shalom Aleichem.

You think you've got some kind of right?
You think that marriage equals happiness?
In Tsarist Russia we've no use for this.
Crossing Delancey's not your fate
'Cause it's a privilege to date

For Michael Dale's "mad adventures of a straight boy living in a gay world" visit dry2olives.com

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