Student Blog: The Life of a Showgirl

It’s exhausting to be a busy performer (a showgirl, if you will - thanks Taylor Swift). When so much of your days are dedicated to rehearsals on top of classes on top of meetings and by the time you’re able to start homework it’s been dark outside for hours, it feels like the grind never pauses enough for a full breath.

You have to choose if you want to submit a comprehensive sophisticated assignment or get eight hours of sleep. If you choose the assignment, you wake up with a fatigued voice and an exhausted brain and you’re sacrificing the quality of performance you know you are capable of. If you choose sleep, suddenly you’re behind in class, your grades are slipping, and (worst of all) your teachers are disappointed. 

To be honest, neither path is really an option. You somehow have to find the superpower that allows you to submit quality schoolwork while also maintaining a "perfect" voice. Especially during finals season, we have massive papers and assignments due on top of multiple major performances. Other students get to pull all-nighters, cramming a project. I don’t because, if I do, I won't have a voice and then can’t perform in my final. And at some point I just want to stay up late gossiping and partying with my friends. Is that too much to ask?

Maybe performing is making me healthier, forcing me to sleep and fuel my voice/body, but my academic teachers’ demands and social pressures don’t jive well with this health journey. Then I remember I actually have to practice my repertoire, an ensemble and understudy track for the musical...  oh, and I'm singing in church on Sunday. The circle continues: practicing eats at studying time which eats into sleep time and so on and so forth. 

But this post isn't just me complaining about my lack of time or how hard I have it. Chances are, if you're reading this post, something about it (or everything about it) resonates with you. Maybe you have a massive paper due during tech week; maybe you feel alienated amongst your friends who consistently choose socializing over sleep; maybe you're just tired. This post is me telling you you're not alone. We've all been there. We're all always there a little bit.

As performers, we must be loose but strong, locked in but calm, focused but nonchalant. It's a hard gig. I wouldn't trade it for any other journey, but it doesn't mean it's easy. They somtimes feel like juxtapositions, but performing and life are not mutually exclusive. Performing enhances my life, and my life enhances my performances.

I don't have the solution to the eternal struggle for more time (or perhaps more efficient use of my time), but I am constantly searching for it. A little better each day, I keep telling myself.

I no longer sleep with my phone by my bed; that's helped a lot. I've started doing more yoga; that's helped too. Each morning is a new chance to improve my life and improve my performing. The grind doesn't stop, but that doesn't mean there's no room to breathe. It's a constant negotiation. The life of a showgirl is hard, but it's a life!! We can make it beautiful and fulfilling. One step, breath, and note at a time.

Photo: Dallas Agnew