Student Blog: Am I Doing Enough?

Do you ever feel like you aren’t doing enough, aren’t involved in enough, aren’t working on enough shows, aren’t preparing enough for your future, etc, etc, etc, even though your gcal is full to the brim and you're making plans weeks in advance? Cuz same. All the time.

I’ve been thinking a lot about burnout and joy, especially after watching Alyssa Liu’s inspirational Olympics journey. I often find myself in the trap of adding more and more things to my plate because I think it’s what I’m supposed to do. We live in a world that nearly glorifies burnout. If you aren’t working on multiple shows at once, barely getting six hours of sleep at night, and running in three minutes late to every meeting, what are you even doing? Why do we champion these unhealthy lifestyles? Why aren’t we celebrating the people getting eight hours of sleep, eating three meals and multiple snacks, and pouring their all into one project at a time? I find myself resorting to comments like “lucky you” and “I wish,” dishing these out as quasi-insults to people not living their busiest possible life. 

Last spring, I was working on three different shows at once. April was composed of three back to back tech weeks. I was exhausted, but I felt accomplished. I never got eight hours of sleep, but that felt like a reasonable trade off for three new lines on my resume. To further complicate matters, I genuinely loved all three of the shows I was working on. I wasn’t just doing it to do it. I wanted to be in the rehearsal room, behind the light board, and collaborating with my friends.

This spring, I’m only working on one show. Period. And I’m performing in it, which I haven’t done in awhile. I feel weird, and slightly behind, to be focusing on only one big project, which has nothing to do with my future (this will likely be my final time on stage in this way). But I’m happy. And I’m really proud of the work I’m doing on this show. Not being tied to multiple other productions, I have time to memorize my lines, music, and dances, and I am even able to get to the gym consistently to train for the show. The other day, I spontaneously laid out on the grass with a friend for an hour. We didn’t do any homework; we weren’t productive; but we were enjoying the time together and soaking up the sun. 

In case you haven't heard this recently: You can have a day to do nothing. You can sit outside for an hour without your laptop. You can get eight hours of sleep every night. You can say no to something that will overwhelm you. You don’t have to do it all to be successful. Read that again. I say all of this to myself as much as to you. This is a constant uphill battle that I'm fighting each and every day alongside you. We need to resist the pressure to hurry through an overconcentrated life. 

Slow down a bit. You’ll be ok. Don’t stop, but don’t go so fast that you miss the journey. A free hour in the middle of your day doesn’t mean you’re unsuccessful; it’s an opportunity to prioritize yourself. Take that walk, read that book, slowly sip a mug of coffee. You aren’t supposed to do everything; you’re supposed to live and love and have fun doing it!