AN ORIGINAL MINI-MUSICAL WITH BOOK BY @SOPHG6C

AN ORIGINAL MINI-MUSICAL

WITH BOOK BY @SOPHG6

 To vote for this musical to win a GIANT Broadway prize pack, cut paste & tweet:
Hey @BroadwayGirlNYC, I’m voting for @SOPHG6’s original musical to win #MyThreeShowtunes!!

My Three Showtunes:
Sorry-Grateful - Company
Day By Day - Godspell
I Am Here For You - Book of Mormon

Characters:
Bobby
Jesus
Nabalungi

SCENE 1 - BOBBY'S APARTMENT

Bobby
Another day of drinking like a goldfish with unhealthily codependent friends and being intense. Oh, what's the point...

[A bright flash of light. A man who looks suspiciously like Hunter Parrish appears.]

Jesus
I...am Jesus.

Bobby
Holy shit.

Jesus
So I've been told.

Bobby
You've got less beard than I would have expected.

[Jesus raises an eyebrow.]

Jesus
You're taking this pretty calmly, man.

Bobby
Well, I was smoking pot with two of my crazy married friends this morning an-

Jesus
Wait, why are you telling me they're crazy and married?

Bobby
I don't even know, I just like to mention it a lot.

Jesus
Fair dues.

Bobby
So, er, what are you doing here Jesus?

Jesus
Well, word upstairs is you're having some problems with the ladies.

Bobby
You guys know about stuff like that?

Jesus
The joys of being omnipotent.

Bobby
It's true. I'm dating this beautiful girl right now, Nabalungi, but I just can't bring myself to commit to her. She's still hung up on her ex boyfriend, Arnold. Absolute idiot. I mean, I may be neurotic, insecure and possibly in the closet but seriously, this guy...anyway, it makes it really hard for me to fall in love with her and then there's this lovely girl my friend Joanne introduced me to...

Jesus
Woah, there! Quit blaming your adorabe girlfriend for your unwillingness to grow up and general idiocy. There's nothing wrong with her. I'm sorry to be harsh but...it's all you.

SORRY-GRATEFUL

Bobby
You're right, Jesus. I've been an idiot. I've got to go see Nabalungi! I'm going to propose!

[exits stage left]

Jesus
[after a pause] Wow, desperate much.

[exits stage left]

SCENE 2 - NABALUNGI'S APARTMENT

[a very obviously religious living space]

DAY BY DAY

Nabalungi
Amen.

[Bobby enters stage right, running. Jesus follows, more calmly]

Nabalungi
Bobby, what are you doing?!

Bobby
Nabalungi, I can't wait another minute to tell you. I love you! Let's elope to London and get married and have little Ugandan-American children!

Nabalungi
Why London?

Bobby
I feel I'll be more artistically appreciated there.

Jesus
[aside, to the audience] Douche.

Nabalungi
This is all so sudden...what's brought this on?

Bobby
You're not going to believe this.

Nabalungi
Try me.

Bobby
Ok, so I was high. And then Jesus turned up in my living room. And we talked about you and he sang about how special you are and it made me realise that I don't want to lose you.

Nabalungi
Bobby, you're nuts. I can't deal with you any more. It's always something. I need a relationship where I feel safe. Something a little less complicated. And for you to joke about my religion...

Bobby
No, no, no, I'm not making fun of your religion. Tell her Jesus!

[he gestures at Jesus...who is unfortunately standing in front of a crucifix hanging on the wall]

Nabalungi
You're sick, Bobby! And insane. Get out!

Bobby
But can't you see Jesus is stan-

Nabalungi
GET OUT!

[Bobby exits pursued by Jesus]

SCENE 3 - Somewhere In New York

Jesus
Hey Bobby, wait up!

[Bobby doesn't slow down.]

Hey, I'm the Son of God I deserve a little respect!

[Bobby does slow down.]

Thank you.

Bobby
She broke my heart. I can never love again!

Jesus
You've never even loved anybody in the first place, you sociopath!

Bobby
You're mean.

Jesus
You're an idiot.

Bobby
You're not even that good-looking.

Jesus
Dude.

Bobby
Ok, that wasn't even close to the truth.

Jesus
Uh, no kidding.

Bobby
But Jesus, I'm all upset now. Can't you let me be angsty and sing a big ballad?

Jesus
You're 35, Bob. I think you're a little past the hormonal excuse. Look, today wasn't the best day. But tomorrow could be. You've gotta keep hopin' and wishin' and dreamin' Robert. And I'll be right here.

I AM HERE FOR YOU

[looks at his watch]

Oh, me, look at the time! I've gotta go...who knows what celebrity cameos I'll miss if I hang around here much longer.
 
[places his hand on Bobby's shoulder]

Stay strong, buddy.

[exits]

Bobby
So, you're not here for me after all that? Everyone abandons me in the end. Even Jesus. God, am I that unlikeable?

[pauses]

Oh, I need a drink.

[exits]

THE END