Review: TWIHARD! A TWILIGHT MUSICAL PARODY at Apollo Theater

TWIHARD! A TWILIGHT MUSICAL PARODY should be veritable millennial theater nerd catnip. I read the first of Stephenie Meyer’s books about mere mortal Bella Swan and her glittery vampire love Edward Cullen in eighth grade, and I continued to devour the rest of the series throughout high school (plus the films notoriously starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson). In retrospect, the cringeworthy elements of Meyer’s book series practically parody themselves — which makes them ripe for a parody stage adaptation from director/book writer and lyricist Tiffany Keane Schaefer and composer Brian Rasmussen. 

This could have easily been a 90-minute, in-and-out show, but it goes on for 2 hours and twenty minutes. It’s a fantastic concept, but there’s simply too much material. This means the show also sadly has a good bit of not that funny material and redundant songs. 

When TWIHARD works, it really works. I admired most the wild swings that Schaefer took with the parody. Much of the material adheres almost too closely and earnestly to the original book and film — namely, a lot of Bella’s material (here deemed Bella Goose to avoid copyright infringement) feels straightforward and without an ounce of irony. On the other hand, conceiving of Edward’s father Carlisle as a flamboyant gay man with the hots for Bella’s father Charlie is an absolute riot. It all plays out in one of the show’s funniest numbers, aptly called “The Daddy Off.” Nicholas Ian is a total hoot as Carlisle — he eats and leaves no crumbs with his larger-than-life performance. Cosmo Coniglio is a game scene partner for Ian, precisely capturing Charlie Goose’s morose energy. 

As the famous sparkly vampire, Peter Stielstra gives a dazzling performance. He nails Edward’s creepy, unbreaking stare and general broodiness. His physicality is terrific — he makes swell work of Edward’s penchant for jumping around. Stielstra also has the best song of the show — “Skin of A Killer” is both a well-executed musical theater song and an astute parody. 

Rachel Arianna has a clear and pleasant singing voice as Bella. She also delightfully captures Kristen Stewart’s signature slouch and notorious hair grab precisely. Her line deliveries often felt flat, though, and I wanted her to make Bella’s generally teenage moodiness more outsized and really exaggerate the mopiness. 

Schaefer throws a plethora of narrative devices, TWILIGHT universe Easter eggs, and songs at this show. Aro, the leader of the evil Volturi vampire coven, becomes the show’s de facto narrator. While Aliyah Necaise is an enjoyable performer, the show didn’t need to include Aro’s extended introduction or conclusion to the show. It’s a TWILIGHT parody musical! The material can rather speak for itself. 

I appreciated how deep the show went in terms of exploring the various “ships” (fan-desired couplings) coming out of the books. And the musical’s explicit representation at queerness is also a funny nod to original author Meyer’s staunchly Mormon and pro-abstinence roots that pervade the TWILIGHT novels. 

I admire Schaefer’s vision, but ultimately TWIHARD needed to try harder at bringing a legitimately humorous parody to the stage. 

TWIHARD! A TWILIGHT MUSICAL PARODY plays through August 31, 2025 at the Apollo Theater, 2550 North Lincoln Avenue.

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