BWW Blog: Kathryn Mowat Murphy - Two Days to Go

So, how annoyed are you when you are on Facebook reading all the recurring, happy, sappy, posts about how great other people's lives are, and, unfortunately, you are not having the best day or week or year even. Really annoyed I bet. Don't worry-- I am sure there will be a time soon where you too will get the chance to annoy someone.

Today is my day!

We were having our last three rehearsals and putting everything together from the past weeks' fixes. I had yet to show the piece to my final person for comments and opinions, so my anxiety was still high. I was not sleeping and, when I did, could only manage a few hours I had crazy dreams of the boys and myself dancing the number with people leaving and talking. My boys were definitely getting to the, "oh God, Kat, not another rehearsal, stage," but they were good sports. Good natured, wise guy comments were flying, and I had to force myself to enjoy the cracks and not become paranoid and think they were mocking me. Lack of sleep and constant worry can blow many things out of proportion. Luckily, one of my good friends was a sounding board and assured me it was in my head-and then handed me a chardonnay.

My happy time would begin on the weekend. It was Saturday, and I had my usual KatMoJAM class in the morning, it was a full class, and we had a ball. Sweat was flying, everyone was happy, and I released a lot of stress by kicking everyone's butt. I then sprinted up to a dance studio to sub a class for a wonderful teacher who was away. It was a small fun bunch of people, and they filled me with energy.

I had a couple of hours to kill before rehearsal, so I took a walk around the upper west side to get some air and to try and stop myself from freaking out.

The time had come; everyone was punctual (I love my people!); we went into the studio and warmed up a bit. Then he came in. You have to understand something: the person who walked in the studio was someone whom I hold in high regard. Mikhail Baryshnikov could have walked in before him, and I would not have noticed.

He sat quietly and observed as we went over a couple of eights. I took a breath and walked over to introduce him to everyone, I was so happy he was here, touched he would share his time with me.

We began the piece and we danced. I was dying, as I don't think I took another breath until it was over. At the end, I turned to walk towards him, he smiled and nodded. I felt like 20 tons of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I almost cried, and I dropped to my knees--so dramatic but that's how it felt.

I gave the guys a five minute break, and I chatted with him about what could be improved, not choreographically, but in the way we were dancing it. We then went through the entire piece. His exquisite eye and experience ironed out and tweaked my work to where I knew it was ready.

That night I slept.

The following day was our run though for the technical staff. We were called to Alvin Ailey for a 7.45pm run. I arrived around 7pm. The studio where we would be dancing was on the corner and open to the public, I swallowed hard, this was it, we were exposed to onlookers. I was not ready for that! I walked in, and the carnival was gathering. What I love about the Dancers over 40 benefits is that there are so many people from so many years ago still putting it out there and still loving being in the business, or just being able to be a part of these shows. To me, it always looks a little like an Edward Hopper painting, different characters doing their thing. In one corner there are a bunch of tappers, then in another there is a mature dancer going over the entire piece with another older dancer who is not quite getting it, but putting her best foot forward, in this case her left one. We are all there warming up and I get a look from a gorgeous older women dancer who says, "Why are you here? You're too young'!

I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!

We are called in and I'm nervous, I have a few words about the piece with the lighting designer and we go for it. Half way through the first section, a crowd starts gathering outside the windows, then more people, by the end of the first section we have a pretty good audience. They applaud. I felt like I was performing in the X Factor, and they were giving us a gift of encouragement. It felt AWESOME and then there was another whisper to me from somewhere saying "it's ok keep going, it's not horrible." We finish and we hear from outside a round of applause!

Relief.

We were done, and I left with the thought that this was something people might want to watch. It was a welcomed feeling, and now I was really excited and looking forward to performing with my men.

That night I slept again.

Next week; The Show

Photo Credit: Bree Moon

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