Check Out Quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON 2/6 - 2/10

By: Feb. 15, 2017
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"The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon" made its broadcast debut from Studio 6B in Rockefeller Center. Emmy Award- and Grammy Award-winning comedian Jimmy Fallon brings a high-tempo energy to the storied NBC franchise with his welcoming interview style, love of audience participation, spot-on impersonations and innovative sketches.
An American television institution for almost 60 years, "The Tonight Show" continues to be a home to big-name celebrity guests and a stage for top musical and comedic talent.

Taking a cue from his unforgettable predecessors, including hosts Johnny Carson and Jay Leno, Fallon carrys on the tradition that audiences know and love - kicking off every show with the iconic "Tonight Show" monologue. Known for his huge online presence, Fallon will brings along with him many of the popular segments, celebrity sketches and musical parodies that fans have grown to love on "Late Night," including #Hashtags, Thank You Notes and Slow Jam the News.

Below, check out 'quotables' from the show:

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.6.17

From the Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, we have Bill Belichick and Julian Edelman on the show tonight! Julian is really excited to be here, and Bill is...also here. (BELICHICK) "We're just taking it one interview at a time."

Congratulations to the New England Patriots, who won their fifth Super Bowl last night. You can tell they've won a lot, because when the commissioner presented the trophy, they said, "Just throw it in the car."

One sports writer noticed that the Cavs won after being down 3-1 in the NBA Finals, the Cubs won after being down 3-1 in the World Series, and the Patriots won the Super Bowl by scoring 31 straight points. Then his Tinder date went to the restroom and never came back.

Last night was also the first Super Bowl to ever go into overtime. Millions of Americans were like, "Great! MORE awkward small talk with my brother-in-law." "So, what ELSE do you do for a living?"

That's right, it was the first Super Bowl to ever go into overtime. Which means, right when George H.W. Bush was getting in bed, they called and said, "We need you for another coin toss!"

This was kind of funny. During last night's game, a Patriots player and a Falcons player actually got their helmets stuck together. You know they're both thinking, "Why can't you be Tom Brady?"

Tom Brady won his fifth Super Bowl, and his fourth Super Bowl MVP award. Or as he put it, "Maybe I WILL go to my high school reunion this year."

Check this out. I saw that the world's most expensive Lego brick made out of 14-carat gold just sold online for 15,000 dollars. The new owner says he's pleased to add it to his collection aaaaand it just got vacuumed up by his mom.

And finally, I saw that "Fifty Shades Darker" just released a new immersive virtual-reality experience that claims to take you inside the movie. Or as wives everywhere put it, "Here's my credit card, why don't you and the kids go to the mall for a couple hours?"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.7.17

Today, the Senate officially confirmed Betsy DeVos as Education Secretary, with a vote of 51 to 50. Or as Trump calls that, (TRUMP) "A landslide!"

It was actually a 50/50 tie vote that was broken by the Vice President. Which makes the vote for Education Secretary the only place where a 51 is a passing grade.

And there were even reports this week that President Trump also likes to watch TV while sitting around in a bathrobe. But his press secretary Sean Spicer denies this, saying he doesn't think the president even owns a bathrobe. Meanwhile, everyone in America is like, "Stop making us picture Donald Trump in a bathrobe!" (TRUMP) "Sorry it keeps coming untied! Oops!"

And the New York Times reports that Trump is apparently obsessed with the decor in the White House. Though there was one awkward moment when he spent five minutes dusting a statue before he realized it was Mike Pence. (PENCE) "Didn't want to disturb you."

Let's get to some sports. Today, the Patriots celebrated their big Super Bowl win up in Boston! But I read that Tom Brady is still trying to track down his jersey that went missing after the game. Then O.J. said, "Whatever you do, just don't try to STEAL it back." (Didn't work out so great for me.)

And I read that since her Super Bowl Halftime Show, Lady Gaga's sales have increased by 1,000 percent. While sales of bedazzled shoulder-pad leotards have...remained exactly the same.

Some more celebrity news. I saw that Kylie Minogue won a legal battle against Kylie Jenner over the trademark of the name "Kylie." Yeah, the judge called the case, "Not why I went to law school."

Here's a local story. It was announced that Playboy is reopening its club in New York City after closing down three decades ago. And you can tell it's the Playboy club, cuz it's hidden underneath a mattress store.

And finally, I saw that Merriam-Webster dictionary added over 1,000 new words today, including the word "photobomb". They didn't WANT to add "photobomb," but it jumped in at the last second and kinda ruined the dictionary.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.8.17

A huge snowstorm is heading towards New York. So, the good news is - we have a great show, the better news is, you're all spending the night here.

Actually the snowstorm is hitting the entire Northeast. In fact, Boston Public Schools have already announced that they'll be closed tomorrow. Kids in Boston were like, "Are you kidding? We haven't been to school since the Patriots won the Super Bowl!"

Well, let's get to some news here. I saw that this morning, President Trump actually went on Twitter to criticize Nordstrom for dropping his daughter Ivanka's line and treating her unfairly. And while Trump's tweeting about a department store, a lot of people are wondering what the return policy is for presidents.

But it seems like every day, Trump's upset about something else. And I guess now, and this is real, he's complaining that the hand towels on Air Force One are not soft enough. Then the flight attendant said, "Sir, that's my skirt."

Of course another big story is Trump's travel ban. And earlier today, he defended the ban by saying quote, "even a bad high school student" would support it. Then Betsy DeVos said, "And thanks to me, we'll have PLENTY of those!

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.9.17

Today, the East Coast was hit with a major snow storm, and it forced New York City public schools to close. When she heard that, the new Education Secretary Betsy DeVos was like, "Hey, my plan is working already!"

But it was pretty crazy out there. In fact, today I saw that a woman was spotted cross country skiing on New York City's West Side Highway. Apparently, when her kids told her they had a snow day, she was like, "I GOTTA GET TO WORK!"

I saw that Nordstrom's stock went up after President Trump attacked them on Twitter for dropping Ivanka's clothing line. Then RadioShack said, "Would you mind attacking US??" (We ALSO refuse to sell her clothing!)

A lot of us can relate to this. Shaquille O'Neal says that he is trying to eat healthier, and has cut soda, bread, sandwiches, and fast food out of his diet. When asked what he's eating instead, he said, (SHAQ) "Mostly trees."

And this is pretty crazy. I read about a woman in Colorado who quit her job because she was feeling burned out, and then won over three million dollars from the lottery a few days later. And I think the big lesson from this story is: don't try and learn any lessons from this story.

Some news for travelers. I read that the Baltimore airport just got a gym where you can work out while you wait for a flight. Finally combining the two things Americans love most: waiting in airports and exercise.

That's right, there's a fitness center at the Baltimore airport. So now instead of just sitting around during long layovers, you can spend that time feeling guilty about not going to the gym.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 2.10.17

I saw that today at the White House, President Trump had lunch with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. And out of respect for the Prime Minister, Trump decided to eat his Doritos using chopsticks.

And President Trump actually greeted Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe with a hug. Trump said he would have bowed, but it wasn't like he was meeting Vladimir Putin or anything.

But the big story is that last night, three federal judges unanimously ruled against reinstating Trump's immigration ban. Even worse for Trump, all three judges were wearing robes from Nordstrom.

And get this. There are rumors that President Trump could appoint Sarah Palin as the U.S. ambassador to Canada. Palin said she's flattered, but she doesn't really want to move to Europe.

That's right, Trump could appoint Sarah Palin as the Ambassador to Canada. Which explains why now, CANADA'S building a wall.

Hey, I want to say congratulations to George and Amal Clooney who are expecting twins! George was really surprised - cuz he thought he was done with twins once he got married.

Let's get to some sports. I saw that Major League Baseball is considering a rule change that would put a runner on second base at the start of extra innings. Which explains their new slogan: "Major League Baseball: Even We Get Bored From Baseball."




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