Choosing who to watch with

[moncruzz]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 12:48am

I am blessed enough to have a partner that appreciates theatre as much as I do, so most of my theatre experiences are pleasant.

However, last week I decided to take my best friend along with us to watch Billy Elliot in San Francisco. big mistake! I love this show so much that I wanted my best friend to see it. I should've known better. Half the time he wasn't paying attention and was checking the time. During electricity he wasnt watching at all, and was fixing his sleeve, which totally distracted me because his arm kept moving.

Do u guys prefer to watch with a specific person or do u enjoy bringing different friends to a show??

[littlegreen2]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 2:18am

I think it all depends on the show. I do have some friends who share the same passion for the arts but there are people who can't appreciate shows for what they are without focusing on what they could be.

I brought my sister to see Othello and to this day she talks about how much she hated it. I thought it was one of the most beautiful productions I've ever seen, so I guess it makes me sad that she couldn't appreciate it. I also took her to see Alice's last show in Next to Normal (a show that is very, very important to me) and she recently told me that she was bored, and not emotionally affected by it at all. She did love Spring Awakening though, and I thought it was pretty awful, so maybe we just like different things.

I really enjoy going to the theatre alone. That's how I prefer to see shows. It's great to share it with people, but there is something special about being alone and observing it all with introspection.

[hairspraydude1962]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 3:17am

I do like seeing plays/musicals with other theater lovers. Usually, they're the ones who will actually pay attention to the performance, instead of flipping through their Playbill or, God forbid, texting. I have discovered that I enjoy the shows a lot better this way. Also, it adds to the experience, when you can have an intelligent conversation, after the show, about the performance.

I have had some mixed experiences with going to see shows with people who don't appreciate theater, as much as I do. Neither of my parents are big fans. My father really isn't into it, at all. My mother enjoys going to the theater but doesn't fully appreciate it. I'm usually very distracted, when I see shows with either of them. For example, when I go to shows with my dad (which is rare), I'm constantly worried what he's thinking about the show, instead of watching it.


Updated On: 7/19/11 at 03:17 AM

[hairspraydude1962]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 3:17am

OOPS! Double post... Updated On: 7/19/11 at 03:17 AM

Posted: 7/19/11 at 3:27am

I admit that there are certain shows I would have a hard time bringing people to. A show I take really personally, like, say, Sunday in the Park with George that not everyone responds to, would be a good example. If I wasn't pretty sure that the person would love it, I'd probably spend too much time worrying and trying to gauge their reaction, than enjoying it. And if they did seem to not even be paying attention, it would seriously put our relationship in jeopardy. I admit, most of that is my own issue--but it is something I think long and hard about.

I admit, I have had to accept that some of my fave people simply won't respond to a lot of theatre I like (or in some cases, theatre at all) and get over it.

More annoying are friends who are theatre fans, but nit pick every single thing to death, and never seem pleased by what they see.

(To the original poster, what could possibly go wrong with someone's sleeve that would cause them to have to fix it while sitting in a dark theatre watching a show?)

[madbrian]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 8:11am

Between my wife and three daughters, I try to choose the one(s) best suited to the show I want to see. Mostly, that's been successful, with some notable exceptions. For example, I love Follies. For the Papermill productio, I took my mother instead of the wife/kids, because I thought she'd get a kick out of seeing Miller/Ballard/Bracken/etc, and she did. Then for the Roundabout revival, I took my wife, and in the words of Elaine Stritch, "and we all know what a bum decision THAT turned out to be". My wife is now averse to Follies, but I've gone ahead and bought tickets for my wife and me for the upcoming revival, hoping that she will come to love the show as I do.

Updated On: 7/19/11 at 08:11 AM

[JillianSch]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 8:43am

95% of the time I go to shows alone. I find when I go with someone, especially if I take them to a show I love, I worry wayyy to much what they are thinking/ if they are enjoying themselves. And if they don't enjoy the show, I take it personally--weird i know.

[quizking101]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 8:49am

Normally, my dilemma is between my mother and my father. I would take my mother to any theatre that had any level of emotional depth and/or gay content (NEXT TO NORMAL, LA CAGE, WOMEN ON THE VERGE), and I would take my father to see the shows that were mostly silliness and fun (HAIR, Lend Me A Tenor).

I prefer to go by myself more often now (probably as often as I take my mother) because I can focus on the show entirely without being distracted by my companion.

[Urban]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 9:21am

Thankfully I have a select small group of people (okay two or three!) I regularly see shows with. And even if one of us isn't a fan of a show we see we often have interesting and enjoyable conversations about it afterwards - so I guess with those to people even bad shows work! :)

As to everybody else - the phrase of YMMV is really the only thing I can think of. From friends who where so theatre ettiquette rude that I wanted to slap them to others where we had a fun night out, it often depends on the friend and more often then enough, the show.

These days to be honest, a little more grounded in my ways I would rather only take only those two or three people with me to the theatre then any brand new person - it is almost like those people are my theatre friends and they are the ones that i share this magic with and anybody else - while not a bother... just are two much worry and work for what is suppose to be an enjoyable night out.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 9:39am

Definitely different people. Just as there are things that I'm not interested in seeing, there are definitely things I'd be interested in checking out that some and not others of my friends would be interested in checking out as well. I have friends who have categorical dislikes - no musicals, nothing with ____ ________, nothing too "talky," nothing etc, etc, etc - and friends who are more open to a variety of forms and experiences.

In this it's not that different from choosing where to eat with different people, or what to serve them.

Then again, there are time when I unexpectedly can't wait for something to end and the same is true for the person I'm with. In spite of the fact that on paper we thought we'd at least be able to tolerate the show. And it shows that we can't by our moans, groans, watch watching, and rolled eyes. So, it's not an exact science.

[AC126748]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 9:41am

I prefer to go to the theatre and the cinema alone. I have one particular companion with whom I attend theatre with regularly, though. We probably see 3-4 performances together a month. We have the same sensibilities and enjoy discussing the productions we see, so it works out.

[Ajpuppypal]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 9:42am

i am very blessed to have a brother who shares the same passion for the theater as i do :). and if one of us doesn't like the show (which is very rare) we still often enjoy conversations afterwords.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 10:14am

I've found that it's just easier to go by myself, henceforth I can see whatever the hell I want when I want to see it.

But when I'm not being a control freak I'll take a friend, or occasionally my mother.

[moncruzz]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 4:30pm

I'm happy I'm not the only one who feels that bringing a friend can cause a lot of distractions: thinking if the friend likes it, if he understands what's going on, if he's even paying attention, etc.

To add to my frustrations when I watched with my best friend, he came in LATE and during a silent part of the show, proceeded to introduce his date to me in the middle of the show!!! UGH. lol sorry.

EricMontreal22: He was with a date, so I think he wanted to make sure he looked good, including his sleeve. -__-

Yup. If I didn't have my bf who enjoys theatre, I would most definitely go alone. even travel to NYC alone.

[fosca3]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 5:01pm

I go alone 99.9999% of the time -- happily

I have had a few good experiences taking friends. My best friend slept thru FAITH HEALER, while I was mesmerized. But she still talks about how much she enjoyed PRIVATE LIVES

I did immediately book tickets for me and my Mom to go see WAR HORSE, pretty much the second I got home. Now I'm wondering how much she'll REALLY like it. At the time, I thought she just *had* to see it

I am MUCH happier by myself at a play. And if the play blows me away, I don't feel at all like talking after -- I just want to find a quiet place to sit and slowly come out of it

[legally_popular]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 11:05pm

“I find when I go with someone, especially if I take them to a show I love, I worry wayyy to much what they are thinking/ if they are enjoying themselves.”

I am so guilty of this too. When the person I am with is clearly enjoying his/herself (smiling/reacting/cheering), it makes me SO happy. On the other hand, when the person seems bored out of his/her mind, I kinda feel disappointed and it hinders my experience.

I won tickets to Time Stands Still and I knew immediately that I had to take my friend who was a huge Christina Ricci fan (she also liked Laura Linney). Seeing her face light up when the two actresses came on stage and seeing how absorbed she become in the story made the whole experience worth it for me.

One of the more disappointing experiences was when my mom kept falling asleep during Pygmalion. She was also very bored during A Little Night Music. I could not enjoy either show at all because I kept looking over at her to make sure she stayed awake. Now I’ve learned to take her to shows that I know for sure she’d enjoy.

I mostly go to the theatre alone now. Sometimes when I see something amazing, I wish someone was there to share the experience with and discuss it with. I KNOW they’ll love it, it’s just hard getting my family and friends to come in the first place. :shrugs:

[TheatreFan4]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 11:15pm

I've taken a multitude of people. Friends, mother, grandma. Haven't had to slap any of them yet. But most of the time it's not their first show so they know how to behave. When makes me worry is when I egg someone to go and until intermission my mind is jumping back and forth "ARE THEY LIKING IT!? GOD I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! WHY AREN'T THEY SMILING!?"

[hermionejuliet]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 11:37pm

I like going to theatre by myself. I enjoy experiencing theatre on my own. And sometimes I meet someone new who shares my interest which is always nice.

That being said, I have a small group of friends who are also theatre people. I don't mind attending with them, and I'll definitely try to pick the right show for the right person.

I love going to theatre with my mother... she's the one who taught me appropriate audience behavior and we have the same likes/dislikes. Even my theatre friends have have different watching habits, so my mom is very favorite companion. :)

[bwayrose7]

Posted: 7/19/11 at 11:51pm

I pretty much always go with my mom. Although we do not always have the same taste or opinions, we enjoy the experience of the theater. I also never have to worry about my companion doing anything obnoxious! Plus it's just a special thing my mom and I do together.
On occasion I have gone to shows with one friend of mine (who is, incidentally, also a poster on BWW). He loves theater even more than I do, and we like to discuss every aspect of shows we see. We have also seen a few truly dreadful shows together, in which case we had a great time and did not have to hold back our real opinions!

[allyk]

Posted: 7/20/11 at 12:27am

My parents are safe bets. They usually really enjoy just about everything and I'm so glad they started taking me to shows when I was young and instilled that love for theater in me. My mom and I are going to see The Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown at Goodspeed in a few weeks and I think she'll really like it even though it's going to be completely new to her. And then my dad and I are seeing a regional production of Hairspray this weekend - he's never seen it so that will be fun!

I have certain friends I love going to shows with, because we can discuss the show afterwards and not offend each other with our comments, good or bad. Other friends, not so much (my friends were mad that I, for the most part, didn't care for La Cage after sitting through it with a migraine that came on right before the show...).

My friends from home are the best, though. A few of them came to visit me during college and so we would always go to a show and that made for some great times because they always enjoyed themselves. (Even my friend who was dead set on seeing Legally Blonde when she came to visit the first day of the stagehands strike and we ended up getting the last two rush tickets for Spelling Bee even though I had been in line at Legally Blonde for an hour... she still had a great time and it was probably one of the best weekends of that semester)

I also love going alone, too. I spent four years at school on Long Island and sometimes the best thing I could do for myself was go into the city and see a show. The day before graduation I was sort of in denial that I was, essentially, no longer a student and instead of packing my dorm room I went to the city and rushed a show.

I wish I had the opportunity to do that, now. I was lucky and got a full-time job in my field before graduation, but I'm at home four hours from the city and it's depressing because I don't have all the culture of New York right at my fingertips anymore. (I'm hoping to move back for grad school next year, though!)

[light_in_the_dark2]

Posted: 7/20/11 at 1:18am

I like going alone or with a friend that really enjoys theater without being nitpicky. The worst is going with my parents (strict conservative christians), we had to walk out of spring awakening and ever jersey boys was very uncomfortable. I hate feeling worried that the person I am with isn't enjoying the production and would just rather go alone and enjoy it myself :)

[Broadway Joe]

Posted: 7/20/11 at 2:09am

I also mainly go by myself but I would always much rather go with someone else if I have the chance. None of my friends are into theatre unless it's a well known actor that my friends like that's in it (like Christopher Walken in a Behanding in Spokane) so it makes it tough.

It sounds like a lot of us do the same thing though, maybe we should do a broadway world meetup so we all have new friends to go to shows with? lol

Updated On: 7/20/11 at 02:09 AM

[Dave13]

Posted: 7/20/11 at 10:11am

Interesting topic, but I can say I have the same feelings as most. Being outside of NY, I see the touring shows. I usually take a date, because it is the "social" thing to do, but I would rather go by myself.

Funny thing is I have friends I wouldn't mind taking, but will they think I want something more serious if I take them?

Either way, I do enjoy theater alone. I like to travel to NY once or twice a year, and oftentimes find myself coming alone. Also, as I learned on my last trip, I think I have more fun alone in NY then with someone else. I don't mind spending the entire trip bouncing from one theater to the next.

Although, it would be nice to find someone that enjoys theater as much as I do.