Student Blog: Reframing Perfectionism

Introduction

As someone in the performance industry of all sorts, there is no doubt that a lot of pressure comes with the execution of your talent. You work so hard on a project, and you just want it to be perfect to show that hard work. You may hold yourself to an incredibly high standard for this, which can ultimately lead to feeling unworthy when something is not done as planned in a live performance, or repeatedly redoing a self tape because that one note keeps sounding “just a little flat”. So many studies and articles have shown how common the trait of Perfectionism is in performers, athletes, etc.

I recently had an experience that left me thinking about this. I participated in a “48-hour Theater Project” with my college, where I got to act in a 10-minute musical written in a little under 2 days. I spent the whole second day learning the song I had to sing along with the lines, and had such a fun experience putting everything together, but I ended up forgetting many of the lyrics and the last line I had after the song. Needless to say, I was devastated. I felt like all the work the writers put in with writing the show, and all the time I had spent going over the notes and lyrics, had gone to waste, and that I let down the other performers and creatives involved in my group. After having a good cry about it, I watched the video and realized it didn’t look as bad as it felt in the moment, but it still got me thinking about the standards I put on myself to do a “good job”.

I wanted to use this experience to write about my ways of coping with perfectionism and high standards as a musical theater performer, dancer, and musician, and what has helped me reframe this trait that so many of us have to deal with. I hope this helps someone reading this who has gone through a similar experience of putting so much pressure on themselves that the things they love can become stressful. You're definitely not alone!!

Changing The Mindset Around Perfectionism: My Mantra

“How wonderful is it to love something so much that you want to show it as well as possible?”

I just came up with this mantra after my recent performance mentioned earlier, which didn’t quite reach my standards as I'd hoped. In cases like these, it's easy to forget to have gratitude for the fact that you found something you love and that it truly shows in your work, even if you feel like your work wasn't done right. The fact that you care about it alone says enough.

Here's my experience on this: If you’ve read my most recent article, “Finally Listening to the Voice: My Path to a Career in Musical Theater”, you’ll know that I’ve been spending the last few months transitioning into a career path more focused on Musical Theater after previously studying Flute Performance, because long story short, I have always felt more passionate and connected to theater and dance. Before I made this decision, I had a few performances on the flute in the absolute peak of my burnout phase for recording sessions, orchestral concerts and solo composition exhibitions. Whenever I did those performances, if I didn’t feel like I did a “good” job, it was easy for me to brush it off because I was “just happy to be done”. Reflecting back on that, I realize that what felt like setting a lower standard for myself was really just the lack of passion shining through. With Musical Theater performances, I notice myself getting more letdown and worried when a performance or rehearsal doesn’t go as hoped, and I’ve learned that it’s because I care. 

Caring is a wonderful trait. It means you’re committing yourself to something you love and you want to give it so much justice that you may not feel capable of giving it. That’s not a bad thing. You have so much love to give to it, and isn’t that so wonderful?

So on that note, just remember that being a perfectionist isn’t bad. It just means that you really care.

Reflection: Defining "Success"

I know. We get told this SO much. I’ve had the well-known “2% of actors are successful” talk a few times. But it really is unclear what “success” is, because it varies from person to person.

I recommend pulling out a journal and writing down some things that you may see as “success”. You may want to write things like “becoming rich and famous” or “Remembering every single line for my upcoming show”. But I want you to dial back when you do this and avoid setting concrete goals. I want you to think more about what YOU want to accomplish as a performer, and what your core values as a human are. What motivated you?

Some examples that I thought of are: “doing what I love”, “getting the chance to tell stories”, “finding or creating a community”, and “being present in the thrill of it”.

Maybe you didn’t get the role you wanted, but maybe you made a new friend at the audition. That’s success if one of your core values is community. Or maybe you got the role you wanted and didn’t perform it as well as you hoped, but someone in the audience was touched and inspired by your interpretation. That’s success if one of your core values is sharing your passion.

It’s not all about how well it’s done. It’s about the intention.

Celebrating Your Wins

That was a great transition into my third piece of advice, which is to remember the wins. Along with defining success, it’s easy to spiral right after a bad performance or audition. It can be easy to forget that one messed-up line or song lyric didn’t ruin your entire performance. I catch myself often coming offstage saying, “That was terrible, everything about that was awful”, and then watching the video later and realizing that I was being dramatic. At times like this, you need to remember to take a few deep breaths and really reflect on the things that you’re proud of yourself for.

For instance, if the high note was squeaky in your 11 o’clock song, but you sang it with the most emotion and passion you’ve ever seen yourself do, it’s important to recognize that. Or maybe you truly do feel like everything you did in your self-tape was terrible. At least recognize that you’re actively putting yourself out there to open yourself up to opportunities. Many people are too intimidated to even do that. You are talented and skilled at what you do, but you need to recognize it to truly feel it.

Last Remarks

At the end of the day, make sure you’re staying true to yourself throughout the process. Perfectionism can be so draining, so in times where it feels heavy, just take a few deep breaths, remember how wonderful it is to care about something so much that you want it to be done right, and celebrate the little wins in your journey. Not every performance is going to be perfect, and that doesn’t make you any less talented or capable of those opportunities. 

In case no one has told you today, you are amazing, and I’m rooting for you. Keep going!!!