ITV & Andrew Lloyd Webber's Search For A SUPERSTAR: Recap, Episode 5

The boys began the night performing Queen's One Vision - and then immediately afterwards we learned that Dirk and Afnan would be singing off to stay in the competition.

Andrew Lloyd Webber advised Dirk to make their sing-off song, 'Memory', his own, and advised Afnan to keep in tune, which was at least practical advice. Afterwards, Lloyd Webber declared himself "wrong-footed" due to the beauty of the performances, but eventually decided to save Dirk.

So Afnan was first out - and rather than any elaborate departure routine, Amanda Holden urged him to "walk into the light", at which point the entire internet exploded with laughter and musings on how they might have managed a colour-coded crucifixion for each eliminated contestant.

Then we had another 70 minutes packed with the final 10 performing another solo song, notable mostly for Lloyd Webber going off on an odd tangent midway through and wondering aloud if Jesus played golf. Here's a clue, Lord Lloyd Webber - no. No, he didn't. And as for your advice that babies with beards should be taken to the doctor...words fail me.

So after that hour and a half - we'll be back tomorrow for another elimination and another series of performances. Have you changed your mind about who you're backing?