Review: ALL MY EX LOVERS ARE DEAD at the Masambe Theatre Reflects on Identity-Shaping Experiences of Past, Almost and Unrequited Loves

ALL MY EX LOVERS ARE DEAD is part confessional, part intimate chat with a good friend.

Written and directed by Dara Beth, this one-woman show is “an all too honest, mostly autobiographical reflection on love, desire, poor life choices, and how many cups of tea it takes to wake up and smell the coffee”. The production stars Qondiswa James as Echo, a hopeless romantic who probably wouldn’t describe herself that way.

This piece, just over an hour long, begins with Echo strolling casually onto the stage, mug of tea in hand, looking cozy, in an over-sized jersey. James immediately draws us in and makes us feel like her confidantes: we are the privileged few who have been selected to hear her musings on former loves, quasi-loves, almost loves, non-loves, unrequited loves, and favourite loves.

Much of the text is rich and beautifully poetic. I really enjoyed the metaphors and word play of the text. It’s lush and conjures up images that fit so well with the subject matter. Indeed, I wrote down some of my favourite lines from the piece:

“We let ourselves burn and call it warmth…I’d let myself burn because I thought that that was what it was supposed to be like”

On bad memories: “I cling to the memory as if I cherish it. If I let it go what will it become?”

“Lovers don’t appreciate how much you hold onto love – they appreciate how much you give it”

“Sometimes your love like a gift they don’t mind throwing out”.

Beth’s text is captivating and she captures truisms about love (or the lack thereof) that are beautifully delivered by James, in an earnest, natural performance.

 Admittedly, the last section of the piece lost me a little bit. I found that the show lost some momentum, that the pace dropped, and that some tone variation and impetus were needed in the text to drive the show towards its conclusion.

Despite this, the show remains a poignant exploration of love. I particularly enjoyed the section about one’s expectations of the ‘firsts’: dates, kisses, sex etc. These are universal experiences, which range from awkward to butterfly-inducing to awful and to euphoric.

James’ performance is poised, natural, heartfelt, authentic, and softly powerful. She has the audience rooting for her love stories from the get-go.

Ultimately, the show asks where ‘dead’ love goes. Does it ever die? For Echo, after the hate has dissipated (following the end of a love affair), the love remains, eternally. This idea is beautiful: that we all carry pieces of the indelible marks left by those we loved or cared about – at one time or another.

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