Stuck crashing at his older boyfriend’s place, a jobless wannabe-OnlyFans twink becomes obsessed with dating a “vampire” he meets online in lieu of finding a new apartment. Meanwhile, said “vampire” – secretly just a college freshman theater nerd – is navigating a will-they-won’t-they with his roommate and on a mission to lose his virginity to impress her. No One’s Really a Vampire is about bad habits, gay sex, hot people, obsession, and the delusions we can fool ourselves into believing when reality gets a little annoying.
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