Are residents of Manhattan stressed out and frustrated?

chicagodannyd
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If you live in Manhattan, you can’t own a car.  There is no place to park it.  You live in an expensive apartment with no basement to take up a hobby project, little spare room, no chance to look out your kitchen window and see cardinals or woodpeckers feeding from your feeders; you get on the subway and get trampled by people.  You can’t take your car to a huge supermarket and buy plenty of food; you can't take up a hobby like flying airplanes in Manhattan; your rent is through the roof; you can’t cook a burger or ribs on your back yard grill; you can’t ride a bicycle down the street without fearing being killed; garbage all over the sidewalk on pickup day.  The kids don’t have enough space to play.  And if you make too much noise, you can get kicked out of the building.  I CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND WHY RESIDENTS OF MANHATTAN END UP STRESSED OUT AND VERY IRATE.  When you hear how people are living and enjoying life in other states and communities, you are angry, and rightly so.  Is this true or not?  Clue me in.  Educate me.   Didn’t Neil Simon write a play about this topic?

keithfromQueens
Updated On: 2/17/20 at 02:42 PM
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Interesting. I myself relocated back to the city about 5 years ago after living in San Francisco for 8. I found much has changed in New York not the least of which is the level of rudeness I am confronted with on an almost daily basis just simply walking down the street and minding my own business. 

People want to be first around here for everything: getting on the train, reaching the top of the stairs, crossing the street, going through a revolving door as if there were some prize they are going to be awarded for doing so. 

I find people here are not only impatient but intolerant. It's borderline disgusting. I hate my morning commute and I rarely venture out to go to lunch because of it.

I don't think that this attitude comes only from people who live in Manhattan who have no access to the things you've listed in your post. A lot of the people in the city on the weekdays work here and commute from the outer boroughs, New Jersey, Connecticut and Long Island and some live in homes with huge backyards, cars, pools, basements with access to huge supermarkets and malls. So I think that has very little do with it.

If you're a douche, you're a douche whether you're car-less living in a 5 floor walk up in Manhattan or living in the suburbs with a car, house, white picket fence, a hobby and 2.5 kids making six figures....

 

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I would think that more New Yorkers are stressed out about the fact that for every homeless person there are 3 unoccupied apartment units in nyc.

Are to worry about a BQQ when you don’t have a roof.
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Not at all true in my case. I love living in New York. I don't need a car, because I have my feet (New York is a great town for walking), a bike, the subway, cabs, and car services. Sure, sometimes the subways are crowded, but in over 20 years, I have never been "trampled", and often see people giving up their seats to the elderly and disabled. Instead of having to maintain and insure a car, gas it up and expose myself to the stress of traffic (and yes, park it), for $2.75 I can go almost anywhere in NYC and read a book on my way.

I have plants in window boxes, in a common courtyard - where we bbq - and I grow a lot of my own food in a nearby community garden, one of my many hobbies. There's a bird feeder and bird bath in the tiny courtyard, and I have seen many birds there, including cardinals, though I have only seen woodpeckers in street trees and in NYC's many parks (which have ample space for kids to play). There is a large birding community in NYC.

I don't need to go to a huge supermarket and buy plenty of food, because smaller markets, bodegas and delis are everywhere, and within walking distance. I get a weekly farmer's market bag from the community garden, full of veggies, fruits and greens. 

My living area is small, yes, but it's big enough, and I was able to find a place for a reasonable price.

The ocean is a subway ride away. 

All of this, plus world class museums, music, art, restaurants, and, of course, theater.

Why should I be stressed out and frustrated? :)

 

 

chicagodannyd
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Do you live in Manhattan?  And if you do, the South, Central or North Manhattan?  That might help in understanding your situation.  How can people who live ten stories up in a huge apartment bldgs. have a court yard to BBQ?  And without a court yard, how can they see Cardinals?  You situation sounds that it is not typical of people living in gigantic Manhattan apartment buildings. Thinking about it further, for me to believe that there are cardinals in midtown Manhattan, I would have to see a photo.  I lived in Chicago for 30 years and never saw a cardinal.  Upon moving to the another state and living in a rural area, we have plenty of cardinals.  I since learned that cardinals are very sensitive to noise, and flee from it because they rely heavily upon sound chirping for communication.  No question, traffic drives cardinals away.  That is a fact.  Is there a different family or species of cardinal that tolerates noise?  Doubt it. 

keithfromQueens
Updated On: 2/16/20 at 04:31 PM
ghostlight2
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Your question (which seems to be more of a statement, honestly) is about New Yorkers, and there are 5 of boroughs in NYC. If you want to stick to Manhattan, there are many huge apartment complexes with a shared courtyard (Washington Heights comes to mind), where you can bbq. There are other public places where you can bbq.

Many people in smaller apartment buildings have a courtyard off the sidewalk/street, and even without a courtyard, people have bbqs on the roof (aka "asphalt beaches"Are New Yorkers stressed out and frustrated? . Anyone can put a bird feeder outside their window., anywhere. You' can see cardinals and even snowy owls in Manhattan's parks. Central Park and Fort Tryon are 2 of the bigger ones in Manhattan, and there are many, many more.

Manhattan does not consist exclusively of "huge apartment bldgs", and there's nothing really "typical" about Manhattan living arrangements. There are all kinds of buildings.

I currently live in Brooklyn, but I have lived in Manhattan, and there is nothing in my post that cannot be said about Manhattan - and again, there are 5 boroughs in NYC.

People don't want the same things. I am more than fine with never owning a car ever again. I really dislike huge shopping markets, and if I want to bbq or watch birds, I can have that, too.

chicagodannyd
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Yes, this post is mostly about Manhattan.  That is where the population density is I think the highest in the nation.  And to see cardinals in midtown Manhattan will never occur.  Even a park has to be away from excessive noise to accommodate cardinals.  And clearly, Manhattanites who live in huge apartment buildings will not have convenient access to court yards for barbecuing.  The other boroughs are different.  I would think that Staten Island offers living like much of America.  And Brooklyn does have streets with houses and yards.  I have seen those.  I was just curious how residents living in the most dense areas of Manhattan cope with life. If I ever visited Manhattan, my interest would be in Little Italy and Chinatown in Lower Manhattan, and the restaurants there.  Would love to visit in the Summer.

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To get more accurate responses, you want to consider changing the subject line to specify Manhattan, because otherwise people might be confused that you mean all 5 boroughs or even the entire state because they're all new yorkers :)

"Even a park has to be away from excessive noise to accommodate cardinals." 

You underestimate their ability to adapt, at least to a degree. Cardinals won't nest in an area that is highly trafficked, but they will feed there. If you ever do visit NYC, shoot me a PM. There's a lot more  to New York than Manhattan. I think you might like the Jamaica Wildlife Reserve 

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War on cars. Crime spiking Squeegee Men back.Gee Whiz why would people be stressed out?

Bernie quoted JFK sickened him.. Imagine that 

 

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Updated On: 2/16/20 at 09:46 PM
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Yes, I’m stressed and frustrated. I basically live paycheck to paycheck and I don’t have the financial or life security that some of my family members back home do.

But I also didn’t move to New York with an expectation of any of the things the OP seems to think I should expect. The dream of having a car, a yard to frolic in, birds to chirp outside my window, a basement to take up scrapbooking in — that’s a fantasy world. Living in NYC isn’t for everyone and if you have even the tiniest inkling that it isn’t for you, then it’s not for you.

I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Everything I need is in walking distance and everything I want is a walk or a train ride away. And I can even read while I’m getting there (no need for audiobooks). Yeah, the train commutes can be frustrating, but car insurance is awful and car accidents are far more common than subway accidents.

And rude people are everywhere. New Yorkers care in their own way. As someone mentioned, I often see others giving up their seats for children, pregnant women, the disabled, and the elderly. I certainly do. Sometimes people can get pushy, but we all have a lot of pressure on us and we have somewhere to be. If everyone stays alert and keeps it moving, there’s no problem to be had.

Also, if you’re paying too much for your apartment, you weren’t being savvy enough. Find a roommate. Find a different neighborhood. Sacrifice. I don’t have a mortgage or more debt than I’ll ever be able to crawl out of. That’s something to remember whenever I get overstressed.
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Granted I don’t live in NYC, but I visit often (actually cooling my heels in the sky club currently in Atlanta on my layover on way to NYC). I have to say I’ve rarely had a negative encounter with a New Yorker. Granted, I mainly interact with other tourists or people in the service industry who have an incentive to be nice, but I can probably count on one hand how many rude New Yorkers I’ve encountered (two of them were within a minute of each other as they were both theater staff when I saw Tina last month). I get a little defensive when people start trashing New Yorkers (I have a similar reaction when people want to peg all Parisians as rude). I live in Oklahoma and there plenty of reasons to be stressed and frustrated here: state that perpetually votes red which pairs with lots of close-minded attitudes. I’ve encountered many more rude Oklahomans in my lifetime. Of course, I live here so that’s bound to happen. But they have all the things New Yorkers supposedly miss. Oklahomans will openly criticize you to your face with a smile on their faces. And there track record towards marginalized communities ain’t great. That’s not to say that everyone is like that. But I’d say we have more than our fair share of a$$hxxxs.
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Unless New York cardinals are different than cardinals throughout the country, cardinals will not feed at all in an area with loud noise.  Cardinals communicate by their distinct chirping sounds.  Noise interferes with their communication.  They flee noise, feeders or no feeders.  We have witnessed that first hand where I live.  And I studied it on the internet.  Studies have shown that cardinals will flee noise.  Cardinals are also very timid birds.  When challenged by blackbirds, the cardinal will always flee.  They are colorful, but timid.

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To color the hour:  I am trying to understand your response.  You say you do feel stressed, and you feel pressure.  What exactly is the source of the pressure?  Is it money worries, living in Manhattan?  Is it the hustle and bustle of Manhattan?  Is it the pressure of living in a society that places money and economic success at such a high premium that few can obtain, and those who do not are regarded as failures?  These things are not always clear to those who live in other parts of the country and live essentially and easy going life style.  I once worked at a company that had no honor or integrity at all and screwed every one of its employees.  That's pressure.  I left and never looked back.

Without ever living in Manhattan or N.Y., I will take one guess that is perhaps the key reason for all the stress.  COST OF LIVING.  My guess is that living in Manhattan is 4 to5 times more expensive than anywhere else in the country.  Take my home:  3 and1/2 baths, 3 bedrooms, full finished basement - carpeted, bathroom and sink included and workshop on 1/2 acre of land, with a forest in the back, 2 car garage, huge lawns front and back, built in 2002, all for $260,000.  Taxes? $2500/year.   Compare that to what you get for the same money in Manhattan.  Clue me in.

keithfromQueens
Updated On: 2/17/20 at 03:05 PM
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chicagodannyd said: "Unless New York cardinals are different than cardinals throughout the country, cardinals will not feed at all in an area with loud noise. Cardinals communicate by their distinct chirping sounds. Noise interferes with their communication. They flee noise, feeders or no feeders. We have witnessed that first hand where I live. And I studied it on the internet. Studies have shown that cardinals will flee noise. Cardinals are also very timid birds. When challenged by blackbirds, the cardinal will always flee. They are colorful, but timid."

What about the cardinals in St. Louis? I heard they actually like the noise. In fact, I heard they even encourage people to make more. I heard the same thing about the cardinals in Arizona. Can you explain this in light of your earlier comments?

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ghostlight2 said: "Not at all true in my case. I love living in New York. I don't need a car, because I have my feet (New York is a great town for walking), a bike, the subway, cabs, and car services. Sure, sometimes the subways are crowded, but in over 20 years, I have never been "trampled", and often see people giving up their seats to the elderly and disabled. Instead of having to maintain and insurea car, gas it up and expose myself to the stress of traffic (and yes, park it), for $2.75 I can go almost anywhere in NYC and read a book on my way.

I have plants in window boxes, in a common courtyard- where we bbq -and I grow a lot of my own food in a nearby community garden, one of my many hobbies.There's a bird feeder and bird bath in the tiny courtyard, and I have seen many birds there, including cardinals, though I have only seen woodpeckers in street trees and in NYC's many parks (which have ample space for kids to play). There is a large birding community in NYC.

I don't need to go to a huge supermarket and buy plenty of food, because smaller markets, bodegas and delis are everywhere, and within walking distance. I get a weekly farmer's market bag from the community garden, full of veggies, fruits and greens.

My living area is small, yes, but it's big enough, and I was able to find a place for a reasonable price.

The ocean is a subway ride away.

All of this, plus world class museums, music, art, restaurants, and, of course, theater.

Why should I be stressed out and frustrated? :)
"

 

 

I think there must be many who would love to live your life.  What's not to like?   I have thought of moving to the East Coast, but I am just too firmly planted on the West Coast.  But, I do look forward to my occasional visits.  Enjoy what you have (including those beautiful cardinals).

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Updated On: 2/17/20 at 03:58 PM
chicagodannyd
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Keep in mind Ghostlight does not live in Manhattan, but Brooklyn.  Don't expect Brooklyn to be like Manhattan.  Manhattan is its own distinct burrough.  Years ago I lived in Bayonne and made the huge mistake of not exploring all the variety and life Manhattan, like Little Italy.

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"Unless New York cardinals are different than cardinals throughout the country, cardinals will not feed at all in an area with loud noise.  Cardinals communicate by their distinct chirping sounds.  Noise interferes with their communication.  They flee noise, feeders or no feeders.  We have witnessed that first hand where I live.  And I studied it on the internet.  Studies have shown that cardinals will flee noise.  Cardinals are also very timid birds.  When challenged by blackbirds, the cardinal will always flee.  They are colorful, but timid."

Either they are different, or they learned to adapt. For 2 years, I had a nesting pair outside my window, in Brooklyn, 30 feet from a busy avenue, 4 blocks from a fire house, so noise was a constant
They did have a constant source of food (not just a bird feeder) but also the place where they nested, an old vine in an unused backyard, was absolutely undisturbed. It was unlikely that even a cat might pass through.

I think maybe they were willing to trade quiet for safety and isolation? Either way, we had a happy 2 years, and I saw 2 years of their babies from my window, and watched them fledge. In Brooklyn, as sirens from the fire department wailed. All creatures can learn to adapt, I suppose.

I lived in Bayonne, too, once, on a ship. Didn't see many birds but ospreys and gulls. Some terns and oyster catchers.

eta: fwiw, the only thing that changed is that people started using the yard again .Noise was a constant, and occurred 24/7 during the 2 years that the cardinals nested there. They abandoned it only after the immediate area was disturbed, not by noise, but by motion.



 

 
 

Updated On: 2/18/20 at 11:14 PM
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The answer is: not everyone needs the same things you seem to be fixated on. I could care less about birds, driving a car, or how often I go to the grocery store. These things are true in any major city. City living isnt right for everyone.
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"Take my home:  3 and1/2 baths, 3 bedrooms, full finished basement - carpeted, bathroom and sink included and workshop on 1/2 acre of land, with a forest in the back, 2 car garage, huge lawns front and back, built in 2002, all for $260,000.  Taxes? $2500/year.   Compare that to what you get for the same money in Manhattan.  Clue me in.

That is very nice. I live in Charlotte NC and in 1990 bought my home for $89,500. I moved from LI because my job was relocated to Charlotte. I have modest home that has three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, large living area, 2 car garage and fenced yard with deck. My yearly property taxes are about $1,600 a year.

If you live in Manhattan it is because you love the life of the city and all it has to offer. The theater, fantastic restaurants, sports, museums and many other things. I don't think having cardinals at your window are a top priority. BTW - not often but on occasion I do see a cardinal hanging on the fence in my backyard.

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"Bernie quoted JFK sickened him.. Imagine that "

Wow, that is really sad to hear.

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Maybe I am like Henry David Thoreau.  I lived in the big city for 30 years and finally the noise and traffic and the confined spaces drove me out.  Today I eat breakfast and lookout my back window and see in the forest: cardinals, finches, woodpeckers and 8 other varieties of songbirds, and the occasional deer.  Last year I saw a momma deer suckling her young one in the forest.  Last week I saw three deer.  I'll take that over a theatre any day.  If I need to enjoy my hobby, I go downstairs to my workshop.  And if I need a special piece of hardware, I hop in the car and go to Menards or Home Depot.  If I want to cook some burgers on the grill, I open my kitchen window and cook on the outdoor grill sitting 5 feet from my kitchen window.  Of course we have a clothes washer/dryer right off the kitchen, like any modern house.  NOW if I was an actor, or a dancer, I'd want to live right in Manhattan to have easy access to the theatres, and for auditions.  But I am not.  I am just a regular guy who enjoys his hobbies, nature, and starting a business. Space and peace are important to me.  Life is good!

keithfromQueens
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I'm more stressed and frustrated that I read this banal post to begin with. Give me Manhattan over this thread any day.

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On my last visit to Manhattan, I saw a rap star wannabe suckling a young tourist trying to get $10 for his CD. Ah, to be out in nature.
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Blue_Lotus said: "Interesting. I myself relocated back to the city about 5 years ago after living in San Francisco for 8. I found much has changed in New York not the least of which is the level of rudeness I am confronted with on an almost daily basis just simply walking down the street and minding my own business.

People want to be first around here for everything: getting on the train, reaching the top of the stairs, crossing the street, going through a revolving door as if there were some prize they are going to be awarded for doing so.

I find people here are not only impatient but intolerant. It's borderline disgusting. I hate my morning commute and I rarely venture out to go to lunch because of it.

I don't think that this attitude comes only from people who live in Manhattan who have no access to the things you've listed in your post.A lot of the people in the city on the weekdays work here and commute from the outer boroughs, New Jersey, Connecticut and Long Island and some live in homes with huge backyards, cars, pools, basements with access tohuge supermarkets and malls. So I think that has very little do with it.

If you're a douche, you're a douche whether you're car-less living in a 5 floor walk up in Manhattanor living in the suburbs with a car, house, white picket fence, a hobby and 2.5 kids making six figures...."


^^ ALL of this. 

I so wanted to live in NYC (Manhattan). I live in Jersey City and love it. It has its drawbacks when being out late and transportation not running as often. I had dreams of living in my studio, going to theater, listening to show tunes at home and being in the center of everything. Blue_Lotus hit the nail on the head as to why I am so glad I don't live in the city. I work there and that is enough. I LOVE my job so do not mind the commute. And my commute is actually shorter than some of my co-workers' that live in NY.

So I have a wonderful railroad apartment that I now pay $940.00 a month for. I don't have a car but don't need one. I live in a relatively quiet neighborhood where a few of my neighbors actually say hello and chat. I am known at the local stores and by the school crossing guards. We have a yard but I can only look at it since only one apartment can access it! But I have a huge beautiful tree outside of my kitchen and bathroom window. And I listen to show tunes.

 

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"Didn’t Neil Simon write a play about this topic?"

Neil Simon wrote "The Prisoner of Second Avenue" which is about a man having a midlife crisis.  In the play, he does portray some frustrating aspects of living in New York City.  It's sort of the bookend to his play "Barefoot In The Park" which portrays a young couple in love with NYC.

 

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