Student Blog: How to Kick Senior Year Anxiety

Surprise! I'm freaking out about post-grad again! 

The life of a performer comes with guaranteed uncertainty. Honestly, that uncertainty is probably the only guarantee we’ll ever have. I won’t lie to you, it’s freaking me out more than I’d like to admit. 

I come from a family of medical professionals. All I’ve known is a stable career trajectory. I think that’s why breaking out of that mold has been so hard for me. Sometimes I feel isolated in that feeling. I look around at all of my friends pursuing the same career path, and they all seem so confident and ready, while I feel like a total mess. After many talks with my therapist about how I feel, I think I’ve found a solution for my ever-present problem. 

I am someone who loves a schedule and loves consistency, so I need to be able to maintain that for myself to curb my anxiety. Luckily I’m in school for another semester, so I’m able to have the structure of my classes. When I’m on break however, throwing my all into my self tapes, and scheduling weekly dance classes and voice lessons has allowed me to feel like I have some semblance of control on something that is so widely out of my own grasp. I read plays like they’re air to my lungs, and I’ve started to view watching TV as ‘market research.’ If you think about it, it actually is, it’s important to know what kinds of things are being made these days. 

In terms of the senior year aspect of it all, I’m leaving time for myself to enjoy the last moments of college. Above all, I’m grateful for the four years that have not only given me lasting friendships and invaluable experiences, but incredible training that has prepared me for my next step into the world. Though focusing on what comes after is important, I must live in the now or I’ll truly be anxious forever.  

With my set schedule, free time is able to feel productive, and I begin to tighten my grasp on my own work and career. Motivating myself to stick to my own deadlines is not easy, but it’s necessary for ultimate survival and finally kicking my own anxiety to the curb.