Review: HANDLE WITH CARE, Battersea Arts Centre

At Battersea Arts Centre,
where the walls still mutter about that fire they once endured,
a lonely cardboard box sits onstage
like a cat pretending not to want attention.

The audience settles. The lights hush.
Then one brave soul stands up,
cracks the seal,
and suddenly we are all in the show
whether we planned to be or not.

Cards appear.
Instructions bloom.
Chaos tiptoes in wearing a cheeky grin.

Some scenes arrive with names so mysterious
they deserve their own art-house trailers.
Not Here, Not Now feels like a cosmic shrug
and then makes you question your entire relationship with theatre,
authorship, time, and whether any of us
ever know what we are doing here.

Another scene barges in like it owns the place.
Six Minutes Of Chaos is exactly that.
Imagine a room full of strangers
playing improvised pinball within their own confidence levels.
Some leap onstage like caffeinated heroes.
Others stay put and let the storm bounce politely off them.
Either way, it is oddly joyful,
a tiny revolution powered by pure silliness.

Caps get handed out with labels like a backstage fever dream.
Tasks are shuffled around.
People who never planned to speak
end up running the room for thirty seconds.
People who came to hide
get caught smiling despite themselves.
It is theatre without theatre
and performance without performers,
other than the dozens of us who suddenly realise
we are the entire cast list.

Then comes the finale.
A whisper of fire.
A theatrical tease.
A little tongue-in-cheek warning
about a blaze that does not actually happen
because Battersea Arts Centre has had quite enough
of real flames for one lifetime.
The joke lands with a spark of mischief
and everyone laughs twice
once at the idea
and once at the relief.

The box closes.
We clap for each other.
We walk out glowing a bit brighter
as if we have shared a secret
we cannot quite explain.

Handle With Care, this playful circus of audience invention
comes from Ontroerend Goed,
who began life as a poetry collective.

Ontroerend Goed's Handle With Care continues on tour.