BWW Blog: Kathryn Mowat Murphy - I'm an Everything Dancer

'I'm an everything dancer'. I sat on the floor of the dance studio and listened to a ballet girl tell me to my face that she, if she chose to, could go out and land herself a Broadway show, as "she is an everything dancer. " I told her to go out and do it, because it's that simple. One day you just wake up and say, "I think I will be a Broadway dancer. To say my blood boiled would be an understatement. Now I am not saying this girl wouldn't do it, she definitely has talent, but to say such a flippant comment directly to someone who has had a Broadway show, is not only arrogant, it is delusional.

Over the past few years I have come across many moments of head shaking and would always say to myself, "I should write about that."

Today I am.

Delusion can come in all forms. It can range from,"I can eat an entire pizza and not feel bad"' to "I can rule the world."

I, of course, have had moments of delusion. I remember one particular moment when I was 9 or 10 years old and playing Rugby in New Zealand. I thought I was invincible. During the game I was running towards the girl who had the ball, and I was going to tackle her. In my head she was going down. Imagine me, 45lbs of skin and bone, and steamrolling towards me from down the field was a 12 year old female version of The Rock.

You can deduce what happened. As I lay there, one thought crossed my mind: why didn't anybody warn me?

This is my question to many of the situations I observe. Why do family, friends and teachers allow people to continue on a path which really will not end well? I'm not saying destroy their dreams, as I am the first to say go for it, do what you love, yada yada yada, but you must possess some semblance of talent, and you must see yourself as others see you.

If we are lucky, we are in show business for many years. The years pass, and we have to grow with them, but, unfortunately, some do not. Some want to keep doing what they have always been doing, stuck in a dimension of time that has passed. We age, it's a fact. Accept it and work with it.

Here is an example of what I am talking about. Just recently I was chatting with an older dance student. She was coming to a dance class I was teaching. She commented on my darker hair color, and said she liked it. I said I like anything that covers my grey. She laughed and, quietly over her shoulder, said she did the same thing, as if it was a confession and nobody knew. I then said, and this is where my inability to filter comes into play, "why don't you just leave your hair to its natural color, you would look fantastic with grey hair especially at your age". By the look of horror on her face, I realized that I had actually said that out loud. Now I was not trying to be mean spirited at all, and I truly thought she would look great, as there are some older women who are stunning with grey hair. I tried to sprint past the faux pas, yet, the more I spoke, the more I dug myself into a hole. Here was a woman clearly in her late 60s saying she was still auditioning for parts of 50 year olds, and thinking that dyeing her hair would do the trick. I told her that I'm going to be 50 this year. The look on her face suggested that hell itself was going open up and swallow me into its desolate vortex. I think at that moment she realized time was catching up, and if I was 50, well then, she certainly couldn't be. She then said, "Well you can pass for someone in their 30s." Very nice of her to say that, especially after the grey hair comment, but no, I can't. If you put me in a room with 30 something year olds, you will see that one of these things just doesn't look like the other.

I understand that today 60 is the new 50 and 50 is the new 40, especially with all the clean living, exercise routines, and the occasional Botox and collagen treatments, but some tend to push the envelope way too far.

I will do what I can with what I have for as long as I can. I encourage others to do the same, but let's try to do it with grace and class. I am constantly seeing examples of mutton dressed up as lamb (a New Zealand saying my Mum Nelma would always say), mutton being an old sheep and lamb...well, you get the idea. Just recently, when I performed in the Dancers Over 40 concert, I met a performer whom I wish to emulate. Her name is Liliane Montevecchi. She is a woman who has aged beautifully in the business and appears to be completely comfortable within her own skin. She is herself, which is FABULOUS! She has class, elegance, and carries herself with aplomb. I watched her perform with such grace and beauty, and was the perfect example of what being older in this business should be. We don't have to lose our youth inside. As far as I am concerned, I am still a 14 year old kid, but we do have to see who we are now on the outside. Ladies, micro-miniskirts are for the under 40s; and men, pony tails are just gone...really ...... gone.

I am very sensitive to all of this, which is why I wanted to share my opinion and THAT, my friends, is all this is ...MY opinion. You can choose to agree or disagree, but I guarantee that within the next few days or weeks, you will see something and say to yourself that this was an example of what Kat was writing about. We are in this business to help others be humble. I realize that it takes hard work, practice, and perseverance to be a Broadway performer. I've been there. I continue on this path as well and, trust me, I am in for many more instances of being in front of the mirror trying to decide if I should venture out in what I am wearing and hear my inner voice telling me to take off what I have on, or else I'll look like a complete idiot.

It's now summer, almost, and I am loving it, but I do take a second look at myself before I go out and ask one simple question, "will I make someone twitch when they see me in this outfit?

Enjoy the heat wave.

Reebok Perf Team; I'm 30

On Tour with Chicago I'm 40 something (and yes that is the wonderful Patrick Swayze)

At 49....Trying to stay classy

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