BWW Blog: Gillian Abbott - Life as an Underclassman

In August, 2009 I was greeted by incredibly enthusiastic students on 65th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam. The Juilliard School: this was my new home and although my mom and sisters were overwhelmed by the welcoming committee, they knew I'd fit right in. Orientation lasted one week in which I met students from all over the world, set up my dorm room, and got use to downsizing from my two-bedroom apartment in Las Vegas. The school held several seminars to orient us, and organized outings to help us get our bearings in the city while having some fun before the Juilliard schedule took over our lives!

September brought back all the other students including the forth year dancers or the freshman dancer's "seniors". Initiation week began. Thank goodness we weren't on a NCAA hockey team or rushing for a sorority. We had it easy- writing poems about the senior class, making collages about us, wearing funny costumes, and learning dances off videos to perform were the height of our embarrassment as new comers. My senior finally revealed herself to be a lovely gal from Canada. I truly felt at home.

As they told us during orientation week, the first semester was the "honey moon" phase of my experience. Living in New York, dancing at Juilliard and dating an actor felt like a dream come true. Our class got to work with Andrea Miller, director of Gallim Dance, to create a new work for our first major concert in December. Although I had spent a year of performing ten shows a week with Cirque du Soleil, there was something incredibly special about taking the stage for the first time at Juilliard.

After Christmas the reality of immersing myself in an intense conservatory environment day after day began to sink in. We were constantly asked to let go of old habits physically and mentally. Coming in as a very bubbly and happy girl, I was uncomfortable facing the deep end of my emotions which proved to be very muggy. It began a process of revealing myself which is continuing to this today. My little romance ended too which left me alone to face the challenges ahead, which looking back was the best thing that could have happened.

One of the biggest blessings of freshman year was developing a relationship with my Graham teacher, Terese Capucilli. She was a Graham dancer for many years, performing all the leads in Martha Graham's popular modern ballets. I really connected with the technique and began to understand how emotions can be drawn out of pure physicality. I spent part of my summer in Cattolica, Italy where Terese taught at an intensive which included classes in gyrokinesis, Graham, ballet and butoh. It was an incredible, soul filling experience.

Second year at Juilliard was the hardest of all. Our schedules almost duplicated and I felt completely lost with what I wanted to do professionally. I thought I knew myself when I was living on my own in Las Vegas and working professionally, yet suddenly I began questioning everything. The more unsure I became of myself the more everyone else seemed unsure about me. I had a difficult "New Dances" process and couldn't find my voice in our composition class.I began to get very nervous that this path was not for me. Second semester, while learning "Les Noces", a ballet from 1923 choreographed by Bronislava Nijinska, I developed serious plantar fasciitis which eventually forced me to take six weeks off as soon as school ended.

After six weeks of rest, I did a workshop for a new musical in Toronto, Canada choreographed by Stacey Tookey who has been a long time mentor and role model of mine. Sadly my body was not agreeing with dancing and as soon as the workshop was done I had to make an extremely hard decision to go back to Calgary instead of going on to Jacob's Pillow for their contemporary dance program. I was almost ready to give up on dancing.

When I got home I opened up a book a dear friend had given me called "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, which is a twelve week program that helps you get in touch with your "inner artist". About a quarter of the way through, it encouraged me to sign up for a class I had always wanted to take but laughed at myself for thinking it was a possibility or a good idea. For me that was acting class. I had been saying for two years that I secretly wished I was in the drama division at Juilliard and I decided to finally do something about it. I called an acting studio in Calgary and it turned out they had a three week intensive starting that day so I signed up! It was so nice to try something new; I loved it.

While on the dance floor at Juilliard's "welcome back cruise" down the Hudson river, I told one of my classmates that I wanted to be an actress. And so my third year of dancing at Juilliard began.

Tune in next week to see where this journey has taken me!

Love, Gillian Abbott

The Statue of Liberty- taken on my first Juilliard "Welcome" cruise down the Hudson River

Experiencing the joys of Christmas in NY with my classmates for the first time

The John Lennon memorial in Central Park- the Beatles will probably follow me everywhere from now on!

Backstage at my first performance at Juillaird

Cattolica, Italy- taking in the experience and feeling so grateful

A photo shoot I did in Calgary, Alberta (my home)

another photo from that shoot

A photo my mom sent me in second year that I still have as my desktop background!

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