Favorite Sondheim rhymes?

[The Distinctive Baritone]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:02pm

What are some of your favorites? I'm doing "Assassins" right now and I cannot get enough of this score. What are some of your favorite Sondheim lyric rhymes? Here are some of mine:

"Johnny lived with a grace and glitter/Kind of like the lives he lived onstage/Died in a barn in pain and bitter/Twenty-seven years of age." (ASSASSINS)

"It's fop/Finest in the shop/And we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top." (SWEENEY TODD)

"Now as I try to adjust my original plan/How can I sleep half as deep as I usually can/When now I still want and or love you, now as always/Now, Anne" (A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC)

Anyone else?

[Princeton78]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:16pm

What would we do without you-oo?/How would we ever get through-oo?/Should there be a marital squabble,/available Bob'll be there with the glue.

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:20pm

"I was told just be faithful and never scold,
Sounded easy so I was sold -- I've been miserable since.
I was taught when the prince and the dragon fought
That the dragon was always caught,
Now I don't even wince
When it eats the prince."

and...

"In the depths of her interior
Were fears she was inferior.
And something even eerier.
But no one dared to query her superior exterior."



I everytime I hear "no one dared to query her superior exterior" I can't help but let out a sigh of delight.

kmc

[Jon]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:24pm

A real oldie:

MY FATHER IS A BASTARD
MY MA'S AN S.O.B.
MY GRANDPA'S ALWAYS PLASTERED
MY GRANDMA PUSHES TEA...

Unfortunately, for the movie, they had to change it to:

MY DADDY BEATS MY MOMMY
MY MOMMY CLOBBERS ME
MY GRANDPA IS A COMMIE
MY GRANDMA PUSHES TEA

[Pippin]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:39pm

Charlie Guiteau
Drew a crowd to his trial,
Led them in prayer,
Said, "I killed Garfield,
I'll make no denial.
I was just acting
For Someone up there.
The Lord's my employer,
And now he's my lawyer,
So do what you dare."

Charlie said, "Hell,
If I am guilty,
Then God is as well."
But God was acquitted
And Charlie committed
Until he should hang.

assassins.



Be you anything from king to baker of cakes,
You're a vegetable unless you're free!
It's a little word, but oh, the difference it makes!
It's the necessary essence of democracy,
It's the thing that every slave should have the right to be.
And I soon will have the right to buy a slave for me!

forum.

Updated On: 5/4/06 at 01:39 PM

[philcrosby]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 1:41pm

When a person's personality is personable
He shouldn't oughta sit like a lump
It's harder than a matador coercin' a bull
To try to get you off of your rump

[mrslovett7]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 2:02pm

But fortunately it's all so clear
That everybody goes down well with beer!
-Sweeney Todd

Somebody pull me too close
Somebody hurt me too deep
Somebody sit in my chair
And ruin my sleep
-Company

[shesamarshmallow]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 2:05pm

Damn you Lincoln, you righteous whore!/You turned your spite into civil war!
- Assassins.

Aaaand not to be cliched, but all of A Little Priest.

[kgee30]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 2:10pm

In view of her penchant for something romantic
De Sade is too trenchant and Dickens too frantic,
And Stendahl would ruin the plan of attack
as there isn't much blue in "The Red and the Black."

and:

With riotous laughter we quietly suffer
the season is town which is reason enough for
A weekend in the country...

both: A Little Night Music

[StephanietheStar]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 3:05pm

Not especially rhyme-y, but one of my current Sondheim obsessions

"It's his father's fault that the curse got placed,
And the place got cursed in the first place!" _into the woods (your fault)


I just effin' love that....it probably has something to do with how Bernadette sings/says it, which is hilarious.

[sondwisenheimer]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 3:13pm

"Life is often so unpleasant/You must know that as a peasant/Best to keep the moment present/As a present for the moment."

[keggss23]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:21pm

Damn my soul if you must,
Let my body turn to dust,
Let it mingle with the ashes of the country.

Let them curse me to hell,
Leave it to history to tell:
What I did, I did well,
And I did it for my country.

Let them cry, "dirty traitor!"
They will understand it later-
The country is not what it was...

-Assassins

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:27pm

The various meat pie ingredients in "A Little Priest" always slay me.

[philcrosby]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:34pm

If you gonna make it
Twinkle while you shake it
If you wanna grind it
Wait till you've refined it
If you're gonna bump it
Bump it with a trumpet

[singinswinga]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:36pm

Into the Woods is chock full of some awesome ones!
"There are bugs on her dugs/There are flies in her eyes/There's a lump on her rump big enough to be a hump/There's no time to sit and dither/While her withers wither with her"

"Not forgetting the tests unachievable/Mountains unscalable/If it's concievable/But unavailable"

"It takes just a bit more and we're done/We want four/We had none/We've got three/We need one/It takes two"

[singingwendy]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:39pm

We've no time to sit and dither,
While her withers wither with her......
from Into the Woods

Mercy no, sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer!
from Sweeney Todd

[shesamarshmallow]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:39pm

I feel pretty/oh, so pretty/I feel pretty and witty and gay!

HAHA JUST KIDDING.

[jam_man]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 4:56pm

Whenever we have a thread like this, I always list this one, but it's just so f^$king brilliant:

"Have charity towards the world my pet."
"Yes, yes, I know my love."
"We'll take the customers that we can get."
"High born and low, my love."
"We'll not discriminate from small -
no, we'll serve anyone - meaning anyone - and to anyone
at all!" --- from "A Little Priest" Sweeney Todd


Also, I was listening to this one in my car this morning:

"...or we'd have been left bereft of FDR." --- from "How I Saved Roosevelt" Assassins

[GovernorSlaton]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 5:15pm

Come on, most of these aren't the complex rhymes that Sondheim is famous for. Here, some REAL tongue-twisters:

She sits at the Ritz with her splits of Mumm's
And starts to pine for a stein with her village chums
But with her Schlitz in her mitts down in Fitzroy's Bar
She thinks of the Ritz, Oh, it's so schizo...

It's a wink and a wiggle
And a giggle in the grass
And I'll trip the light Fandango
A pinch and a diddle
In the middle of what passes by.

If the tea the Shogun drank will
Serve to keep the Shogun tranquil
I suggest, if I may, my Lord,
We consult the Confucians -
They have mystical solutions,
There are none wise as they, my Lord.

And, of course, the British ambassador of "Please Hello" in Pacific Overtures has the greatest rhymes I've ever heard - it's a shame most of them aren't heard due to the overlapping:

1: Hello, I come with letters from her Majesty Victoria
Who, learning how you're trading now, sand "Hallelujah, Gloria!"
And sent me to convey to you her positive euphoria
As well as little gifts from Britain's various emporia.

2: I think
Her letters do contain a few proposals to your Emperor
Which if, of course, he won't endorse, will put her in a temper
or,
More happily, should he agree, will serve to keep her placid, or
At least till I am followed by a permanent ambassador.

3: Great Britain wishes her position clear and indisputable
We're not amused at being used and therefore stand immutable
And though you Japs are foxy chaps and damnably inscrutable -

4: The British feel these latest dealings verge on immorality
The element of precedent imperils our neutrality
We're rather vexed, your giving extraterritoriality
We must insist you offer this to every nationality!

5: One moment please, I think that these assure us exclusivity
For Western ports and other sorts of maritime activity
And if you mean to intevene, as is the Dutch proclivity,
We'll blow you nits to little bits, with suitable festivity.

[allofmylife]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 6:16pm

Have a goldstone, Mister Egg Roll,
Tell me any little thing that I can do.
Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce,
Have a cookie, have a few!
What's the matter, Mr. G.?
Have another pot of tea!
Mr. Goldstone, I love you!

[The W.A.N.D]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 6:18pm

But fortunately it's all so clear
That everybody goes down well with beer!
-Sweeney Todd

Greatest.Rhyme.Ever.

[pemberlee]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 6:59pm

"Why did you do it boy, not just destroy, The pride and joy, Of Illinois, but all the USA?"

[OOTI2004]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 7:50pm

Into the Woods:

"It's your father's fault that the curse got placed and the place got cursed in the first place" from Your Fault (Actually I love all the rhymes in that song)

"Told a little lie, stole a little gold, broke a little vow, did you? Had to get your prince, had to get your cow, had to get your wish doesn't matter how, anyway it doesn't matter now" from Last Midnight--I just love the way that sounds

[Night Life Love]

Posted: 5/4/06 at 8:00pm

Hero:Many women want a father, he may want mine. It's possible...
Senex:He's a handsome lad of 20, I'm 39...It's possible
Hero:Older men know so much more.
Senex: In a way, I'm 44.
Hero:Next to him I'd seem a bore.
Senex: All right...50!



I heart forum.

[philcrosby]

Posted: 5/5/06 at 8:50am

And love is a lecture
On how to correct your
mistakes

"Little Night Music" film