Student Blog: Building Lifelong Relationships in Theatre

The greatest beauty and biggest heartbreaks of life in theatre are the friends you make along the way. I have incredible friends around the country from various theatre contracts and programs. Something about creating art together forges deep lifelong friendships unlike anything else. The nature of theatre encourages these deep bonds, but also necessitates constant goodbyes. 

I met my best friend during a three-week vocal performance program the summer before our junior year of high school. We immediately bonded over our enthusiasm for theatre, dancing, and our shared joy for life. After the program, we returned to our separate lives, three hours from each other. When possible, we would make the drive to watch each other perform. Fast forward two years, and we commit to colleges across the country. North Carolina and Utah are two time zones and a flight away from each other. This semester, while I’m abroad, there are eight time zones and an ocean between us. Though the distance can be hard, it makes every reunion sweeter. It is also comforting to have someone removed from school to talk to when you need to make a difficult decision or rant about something. Our three weeks together three years ago has blossomed into a cherished friendship. Fun fact: she also writes for BroadwayWorld! Shoutout Ruby!

I spent 10 weeks this summer in Peterborough, New Hampshire, working at a summer stock theatre. I lived in a cabin on the theatre’s campus and shared a kitchen/community space with the other interns and most of the staff. Spending all day together (both at work and at home) allowed us to quickly jump from friends to family. The internship attracted many postgrad applicants, so I gained so many “older siblings.” They always jump to offer me wisdom and advice, about everything from technical skills to credit card habits. At the end of the internship, it was devastating to hug everyone goodbye, but I’m so grateful for the relationships I gained, and I’m looking forward to the next time I’ll see everyone!

I’m so grateful for the friendships theatre has provided me, but the goodbyes are definitely hard. Over the years, I’ve learned how I like to cope with the goodbyes and sustain the relationships I’ve built over a short time. My favorite way to end a show or program is to write handwritten notes to everyone involved. This allows me to express my gratitude for each individual, while providing me space to compose my thoughts. I’ve kept every letter I’ve received over the years, and they always bring me so much joy to look back upon.

Of course, when you’re not spending every day with people, it can be hard to stay in touch. Instead of pressuring myself to maintain the same amount of contact regardless of distance, I challenge myself to reach out to at least one old friend each week. This could be giving them a call, sliding up on a story, or just sending them a quick text letting them know I’m thinking of them. This helps me sustain my friendships even when I don’t get to see them in person. 

My friend Hayden offered me a new perspective towards goodbyes. He acknowledged their difficulty, but emphasized their beauty. He asked me, “how wonderful will it be when years from now you run into someone from this summer on the subway in New York and you get to rekindle your friendship and catch up?” Though it can be hard to temporarily leave behind a friendship, deep bonds don’t break overnight. The theatre world is small, and I know I’ll see these people again, and it will be a magical reunion.