Highlights from SNL's 'Weekend Update' with Seth Meyers and Cecily Strong

By: Dec. 23, 2013
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Below, check out highlights from Saturday Night Live 'Weekend Update' with Seth Meyers and Cecily Strong'. The show aired Saturday, December 21, 2013.

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR Seth Meyers - "A large number of conservatives on Thursday criticized A&E for suspending Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson for his anti-gay comments, including Senator Ted Cruz, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, and Governor Bobby Jindal. Or as they're collectively known, Dork Dynasty."

MEYERS - "Donald Trump said this week that he is considering running for governor of New York. Explained Trump, 'If I'm not constantly in the news, I will die.'"

STRONG - "North Korea on Thursday responded to South Korean protests against the regime by sending a fax message to Seoul threatening to "strike mercilessly without notice." Fax message? North Korea sure has a lot of relics from the 90s lying around."

STRONG - "The Vatican this week said that Pope Francis has drawn four times the number of visitors to St. Peter's Square than Pope Benedict did in all of 2012. It's amazing the difference a t-shirt cannon makes."

STRONG - "A new device is being developed that could translate a dog's thoughts into English. It's ideal for anyone who wants a device that's constantly saying: 'DUHHHHHHH.'"

MEYERS - "China's first moon rover, the Jade Rabbit, this week began its mission exploring the lunar surface. The rover is reportedly searching for a good location to leave some menus."

MEYERS - "NBC announced this week that Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb will host a prime time special on the network called "A Toast to 2013," in which they recount their favorite stories from the past year. But shhhh, it's actually an intervention."

STRONG - "A Kentucky man set a new world record when he ate 15 Indian ghost peppers, which are 400 times hotter than a jalapeno. When reached for comment, the man said, 'somebody's in here!'"

STRONG - "An 11 year-old Ohio boy was arrested after he punched his grandmother in a store when she refused to buy him a toy. So it sounds like they BOTH learned a valuable lesson."

MEYERS - "Toys R Us announced this week that its stores will remain open for 87 straight hours leading up to Christmas. Not to be outdone, the internet announced that it will be open all the time always forever."

MEYERS - "A new study suggests that older women spend about two-thirds of their time just sitting. And the other one-third is spent trying to remember what else that actor was in."

STRONG - "A man in Pennsylvania is selling a house that he has described as "slightly haunted," featuring phantom
footsteps, strange knocking and "hardly noticeable" screaming. That story again: a fully haunted house is being
sold by a slightly deaf guy."

STRONG - "A Florida man was arrested after he went into a convenience store and tried to trade a live alligator for a
12 pack of beer. His bail has been set at 4 alligators."

Photo credit: Dana Edelson/NBC



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