HELP-Need comedic female performance vocal piece for Cabaret Series!!

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Daniela
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Hey guys,

Can you help me out? I need a great performance style comedic musical number to perform in a Cabaret in February.

Not Adele's Lament or Priviledge To Pee.

I am a belter up to an E. I am looking for something that will blow the socks of everyone. Pretty long with a story. Any suggestions?
If all the world's a stage, I want my own damn dressing room.
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Dance Ten, Looks Three from A Chorus Line (although it's not that long)

Over the Moon from Rent
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Shy from once upon a mattress is funny.
"`I grow old... I grow old... I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.` What does that mean, Mr. Marlowe?" "Not a bloody thing. It just sounds good." He smiled. "That is from the `Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.` Here's another one. `In the room women come and go/Talking of Michael Angelo.' Does that suggest anything to you, sir?" "Yeah -- it suggests to me that the guy didn't know very much about women." "My sentiments exactly, sir. Nonetheless I admire T. S. Eliot very much." "Did you say, 'nonetheless'?" - The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler
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Daniela
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I have done Dance Ten Looks Three. In fact I played Val in High School 17 years ago. Oh my God. Did I say 17 years? Yikes. I also played Winnifred from Once Upon A Mattress 16 years ago in High School and about 6 years ago again.

Keep em coming. I need something by tomorrow night. Something totally original.
If all the world's a stage, I want my own damn dressing room.
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alto's lament
taylor the latte boy
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Check out anything Mary Testa has ever sung.
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not to thread jack, but i suppose this is kind of relavent. Can you get sheet music to pieces from forbidden broadway? I'd love to perform altos lament one day
"talent is wanting something hard enough to work for it" - my drama teacher :)
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What about "(Not)Getting Married Today" or "Little Things You Do Together"? I agree with "100 Easy Ways," that's not expected I think. You could also sing "My New Philosophy" if you could find someone to play the other person.
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"The Boston Beguine" from New Faces of 1952 is one of my favorite comedic pieces. It was written by Sheldon Harnick and originally performed by Alice Ghostley.
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If You Hadn't But You Did from Two on the Aisle
Everybody's Girl (i forget what show it is from)
Im the Greatest Star from Funny Girl
A Call from the Vatican from Nine


Updated On: 1/24/06 at 02:49 AM
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MY NEW PHILOSOPHY! (duh...) re: HELP-Need comedic female performance vocal piece for Cabaret Series!!
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alto's lament would be great.

look at "lesbian love story" from the lippa wild party
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"You Can Always Count on Me" from City of Angels.
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Matchmaker, Matchmaker; get the music for this trio and figure how to reduce it for one singer playing all three parts. This might also work for Maria from The Sound of Music as well as other multi-role songs.

This joke will really only work if there is a distinct voice for each of the characters.
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Bernadette Peters use to sing that hysterical number about masturbation in her night club act years ago...it was titled something like "Making Love To The One You're Near". Anyone recall the exact title?
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I love Rays suggestions. Nice. Now if only I could sing...
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Demitri, it's called "Making Love Alone". The only reason I know this is because she performed it on SNL back in '81. :)
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teh_pretty
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Just One Step from Songs for a New World would be killer, but I don't think it's in the vocal selections, is it?
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What?