EDINBURGH 2023: Review: A GAY DAD, TheSpace @ Symposium Hall - Annexe

Don't go into A Gay Dad with any expectations. Honestly. Don't. I had the feeling it was a stand-up show about being, well, a gay dad. And it was funny. But it was also a heck of a lot more, in many surprising ways.

This is Xander's first ever show. Ever. He's actually a maths teacher, a brother, a father, a son and really into fitness (as displayed by his oiled, muscly torso which is on display). He has wanted to do this for years and finally set himself the challenge. And I'm so pleased he did. 

This show isn't really stand-up though. The small description on the ticket page says, "makes you laugh, makes you think". He's not wrong. The jokes are occasionally crass, sometimes eye-rollingly ridiculous, but often-times they are subtle and clever and if you blink, you miss them. Xander displays that humour I've seen in many friends who are teachers and who make jokes to please themselves in front of neverending classrooms full of teens. The witticisms mainly fly over the heads of the kids whom they are aimed at and it's only later do they realise the butt of the joke was them. 

Xander looked nervous to start with. He was a bit shaky in the beginning but was so charming I couldn't help but sit mentally cheering him on. He is so open about his life with his husband, his feminist lesbian sister and the challenges of adopting a child when there is no "mother" in the picture, just two loving dads. 

He also had me crying when he spoke of the death of his mother. His pain was palpable. You will, as I did, want to take him into your arms as her last moments are recounted. But moments later he says something filthy and you're laughing once more. 

I don't know if this show would be for everyone. If you don't like risqué humour, jokes about religion and sexual abuse, bananas in pants, and comedy thoughts about a sibling's penchant for rug munching, then this production maybe won't be your cup of tea. I really enjoyed it though, and happily cackled most of the way through, except for when I was pondering something Xander was asking me to contemplate, or if I was crying about his dead mother.

Even the gags about his paedophile Scout Leader were clever. They were funny because they also made you think, and Xander is so deadpan and matter-of-fact, that you see his comments aren't churlish or vulgar. They are on-point and full of truth. You laugh because you have to and because he is inviting you to laugh. And also inviting you to think.  

I hope Xander comes back to the Fringe with this one man show. And I hope he does more of it and gains in confidence. I think he could have a great live comedy following (he already has a huge following on TikTok as FitXander). For now I'd like to thank him for making me laugh and making me think. And for showing me a whole new way of storing bananas.

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