The Book Of Merman at Columbus Performing Arts Center, Van Fleet Theatre

Mormon missionaries, Aaron and Jacob, on a two-year stint to convert more Latter Day Saints, ring a buzzer that says E.M. Welcome. It doesnt mean Every Mormon Welcome as the hopeful proselytizers imagine. The owners name aint Welcome either. It is the sacred bungalow of Ethel Merman, who didnt die after all in 1984 but lives on. This meeting of squeaky-clean, fresh-faced, sexually-stunted Utah goody goodies with the brassy, bumptious, leather-lunged Queen of musical theatre not only proves that opposites dont just attract, they put on a show. Haunted by a dream not unlike the one in Gypsy, Aaron is a frustrated Broadway camp follower, gaga over seeing his idol. Ripe for Times Square corruption, stage-struck Aaron keeps La Mermans autobiography in his backpack. Resisting the urge to belt out ballads, demurer Jacob cant immediately bring himself to desert the cause of Brigham Young, though his repressed longings for Aaron demand a different destiny. It is up to earth-mother Ethel to teach them that the goddess is not godless and that destiny wins.