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what am i supposed to do?

b-waygirl
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what am i supposed to do?#0
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:21pm
ok here's my situation:
i'm friends with alot of different..."diverse" peoples. some of these people are considered "popular" and these are the friends who tick me off. they will constantly diss any gays, or even anyone whom they THINK is gay in our school. when they do this i sorta stand to the side and go...."ummmmmm w/e.....ummmmmm...(etc.)" if i tell them off about how i really feel then they'll go like "what are you a gay urself" then start spreading every kind of rumor available about me and basically make sure that my life will be miserable unless i move to somewhere like siberia(and they have the power to do this). but then if i keep my mouth shut, when they talk then i'll feel worse and worse, and also alot of my gay friends will be just like "what are you doing? are you turning against us or something? are you AGREEING with them?????" and so basically i'm stuck whatever i do. what am i supposed to do? has anyone else ever been stuck in this situation?
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LadyGuenevere
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re: what am i supposed to do?#1
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:29pm
When people ask me if I'm gay for hanging around homosexual guys all the time, I just look at them with a steady look. It's their decision to decide whether I am or not.

The steady look usually translates into "Yes, I am a lesbian," and the whole school knows the next day.

You know what? I could really care less about what they think. My real friends know that it isn't true (well, not yet, anyway).

Go with what your heart says. Be true. Don't lie to yourself and what you believe in.
broadwayguy2
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re: what am i supposed to do?#2
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:30pm
are those "popular" people who trash everyone REALLY worth being around if all they do is trash everyone else?? hmmmmm....

do you REALLY need someone to answer it for you? Check yourself. Check your priorities. Who you surround yourself with is a reflection of who YOU are.

You should know the answer.
b-waygirl
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re: re: what am i supposed to do?#3
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:32pm
i want to tell the "popular" people off....the only thing is that they have the power to make my entire life miserable and i have seen that happen many many times. jesus....i hate school....well most of it anyway.
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LadyGuenevere
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re: re: re: what am i supposed to do?#4
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:34pm
When you're an adult, high school shouldn't really matter to you anymore.

(i know that I won't be thinking of mine at all once I'm gone anyway!)

And those are teenagers. They've got no real power.
b-waygirl
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re: re: re: re: what am i supposed to do?#5
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:37pm
maybe high school doesn't really matter, socially at least, in real life, but while you're enduring it, it does matter because it's your life. that's what i'm talking about. and i've been thinking about the situation for literally months, but i've been going in infuriating circles all the time.
parking for drive-thru service only. thank you.
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son_of_a_gunn_25
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re: re: what am i supposed to do?#6
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:40pm
They aren't your true friends if they do that to you. You should speak up even though it is hard. Trust me when your friends get to college it'll be a rude awakening for them. Next time just tell them , "Stop its not cool." If they know it bothers you and they actually care about you they'll quit at least around you. It'd also help if you could get them in some sort of situation where the have to interact with people who are homosexual and bisexual without them knowing the person is until later. That will help them see that people ho are gay or bi are just as human as them. You need to be the vehicle for change if you can, and being younger you should really try to take the charge and try to make things right in middle school and high school. If they ask you if you are gay, be truthful, and just tell them you believe everyone has the right to live free of harrassment no matter what their beliefs. The biggest thing is to be friendly and outgoing to everyone. That was my philosophy in high school and now. I wasn't mean to anyone even though there were a few people who i would have gladly told off. If they accuse you of being gay, just ask them why the need to trea others like dirt. Are they doing it because they are afraid someone might see the truth below their harrassing? They might be using it to hide their own personal questions about their sexuality. Tell them that is what it seems like to you and that might stop it. Who knows. Like I said if they are your true friends they will listen. Trust me I had much more fun in high school just being myself than trying to fit in with the "in" crowd. It's not worth it.
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Updated On: 2/14/04 at 05:40 PM
broadwayguy2
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re: re: re: what am i supposed to do?#7
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:43pm
brava son
b-waygirl
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re: re: re: re: what am i supposed to do?#8
Posted: 2/14/04 at 5:48pm
umm wow....ok.....that's exactly what i was looking for, sonofagunn....tuesday............jesus...tuesday....................thx lots!!!
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LadyGuenevere
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*wipes tears away*

Beautiful.
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Karma76
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haha,yes very beautiful. son is VERY right! I agree b-way girl with the fact that you're scared now about what they will say BUT if you said oh stop their MIGHT actually be one or more who are thinking the same thing and are as scared as you. Actually i will not even go with might, there ARE other people who think the way you do and if one of you spoke up and said oh cut the crap, i bet others would agree!! so be the bigger person.

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Right Said Rick
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I can really relate to what yur sayin. People are always askin me if I am gay or something because I like Broadway music and soft, pretty things. So I tells em "back off you or I'll show them what a gay is like." Suddenly it's all fists a flyin' and I don't feel no pain. Once I beat them into bloody submission, I take my prize. Once I get done, I say "I ain't gay, I'm a top!"

So I guess my advice is to beat them up and then assault them like it's the guards day off at a Turkish prison.
b-waygirl
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i'll stick to sonofagunn's advice....
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Rick sounds like a horse of a different color I've heard tell about.

Sorry Rick.

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sabrelady
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re: re: re: re: what am i supposed to do?#14
Posted: 2/15/04 at 4:46pm
U can be a nice person & stand by your convictions. OR you can cut these people off @ the knees without seeming to. Point one: ALL teens in high school are insecure just what they are insecure about varys but insecurity is a given. Reflect this insecurity back at 'em. "u seem awfully interested in who's gay U looking for a date cos u aren't MY type" Lots of vocal denials fhum fhuming will occur. Shrug, "if u say so" " I guess we'll have to watch & see won't we?" They will be resentful BUT they will also be less quick to start up with u on this topic. Just be careful who u pick as friends REAL friends know who u are and want to be with u NOT use u as a target.
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innocentchoirboy
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i can understand that you want to bitch them out. trust me, i've done my fair share of bitching. but after a while, you realize that its just not worth it; these people are going to be dicks and you can't change it, no matter how hard you scream (or punch). and please, who cares about the popular people? i'm assuming that you are a freshman or a sophomore, and send me a nasty pm if i'm wrong, but junior year and on, you realize that the people who dominated middle school are all really ugly and become this tight-knit crowd of bitchy people who screw each other. chances are, they don't have any power to ruin your life. and if they do, i would suggest a shift in friends, because if your friends right now listen to popular people, they're no better than the inbreeding slobs. i'm not saying do it over night. that's just impossible. hell, it took me five years to find a group of REAL friends, but its well worth the struggle.

Rick, saying your not gay, your a top, means absolutely nothing. if all the gays in the world were bottoms, how would we get any? true its hard to find a top in America, a country of mostly bottoms, but go to mexico, and you'll find a bunch of tops clamoring to find a bottom (go to www.xymag.com for the stats). did you know that straight men can be bottoms, and women the top? its all in how the relationship plays out. just because you're a bottom in bed doesn't neccisarily mean that you're the bottom of the relationship. but i'm spending entirely too much thought trying to educate a G.W. follower. its just not possible (i think i've succesfully offended the next demographic on my list).
"We ought to make the pie higher." --George W. Bush, South Carolina Republican Debate; February 15, 2000