Dinner with the ex

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Elphaba
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Dinner with the ex#1
Posted: 3/21/08 at 10:30am
last night I had dinner with my ex and his partner. I have seen them maybe twice in 9 years, the last time perhaps 5-6 years ago.

His partner and I were best friends when his partner and I lived in Michigan.
I moved to San Francisco best friend who moved to SF a year before me) introduces me to the ex who not too much later becomes "the current".
I break up with him, and the ex and best friend have now been together 11 years as a couple.

I loved seeing them, especially loved seeing their new home.
They make a great couple, yet I was not prepared for some of the intimacy they share.

I will always have a soft spot for the ex, but in some ways it's tough seeing them together.
Perhaps it's because it's like two lifetimes ago..my life here, and the life before in Detroit......

The best friend looks older, the ex (damn him) looks EXACTLY the same although he's 11 years older.

I just feel extremely sad today.....part of it could be that Steve couldn't come as he ahd to deal with the last part of his fathers estate (four years later) and I know how tough that was for him.
Part of it might be so many memories regurgitated.

It was a nice evening, lots of fun, but I'm not sure I can do it again, and that makes me incredibly sad.

Very strange these periods of life we go through, how they affect us then, and then how they do now....

Sigh
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story... AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
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CJR
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re: Dinner with the ex#2
Posted: 3/21/08 at 10:58am
Oh Elphaba, you are a better person than I.

I too, have a soft spot for this one particular ex. Lately, he's been trying to get me to have dinner with him, saying we should catch up and all that because it's been too long. It has, but I dont know that I can deal with resurrecting all those old feelings. I feel kind of bad that I've been putting him off for 6 months, but I just can't do it.

Mad props to you, Elphaba for being able to.... even though it's kind of messing with you today.
"You're every gay man's wet dream!" ~ MA

If in Heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell...

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xxnewgirlxx
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re: Dinner with the ex#2
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:06am
It's never easy to stay friends with an ex. I've seen it done before, but I'm not one that can do it. My most current ex and I are in that phase where we've maintained a "friendship" but its quickly fading away. It's almost like breaking up again; we just prolonged it.

It's sad that people we once loved dearly and knew so well could just fade away.
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Calvin
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re: Dinner with the ex#3
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:08am
Indeed, Elphie.

I just had a night out with my ex last weekend, in fact. I hadn't seen him in about a year. And we're both single right now, which has its own set of complications. It's left me considering things I told myself I'd never consider again. But which me was right?
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lildogs
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re: Dinner with the ex#4
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:11am
Wow, Elphie, those are some tangled branches...

I wish I could be cool but that's not me. I'm really not interested in someone who rejects me on a grand scale.

Cal--you thinking about heading back to the old ranch?
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Calvin
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re: Dinner with the ex#5
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:15am
Well, we live quite far apart right now, so it's not really an option, for better or for worse.

I guess it all depends on who ended the relationship. In this case, I was the rejector, not the rejectee.
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lildogs
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re: Dinner with the ex#6
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:18am
You bastard.
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nmartin
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re: Dinner with the ex#7
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:31am
There isn't enough money or morphine to make me have even a Clark bar with my ex.
Updated On: 3/21/08 at 11:31 AM
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lildogs
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re: Dinner with the ex#8
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:38am
Are there enough Clark bars to make you take morphine?
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dinner with the ex#9
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:41am
somebody handing out morphine? whose ex do i have to blank to get some?
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

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Calvin
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dinner with the ex#10
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:47am
Clark somebody-or-other.
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lildogs
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dinner with the ex#11
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:50am
I'd blank a Republican for some morphine right now
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Calvin
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dinner with the ex#12
Posted: 3/21/08 at 11:53am
Charles Nelson Reilly: Endorse
Betty White: Sleep with
McLean Stevenson: Endorse
Richard Dawson: Endorse
Brett Somers: Vote for
Jo Ann Pflug: Become
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DottieD'Luscia
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dinner with the ex#13
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:22pm
An ex of mine visited DC last year for the Stonewall Regatta. I hadn't seen him in at least 10 years. Well I saw him in the distance, and quite surprisingly and unexpectedly it brought up a whole bunch of feelings. Believe it or not, I bolted. I guess I wasn't ready to see him at that point, but we did meet up later in the weekend for dinner. By then the feelings had subsided and I actually had a nice time catching up with him. It was also hard to see that someone I thought was so hot at one time, aged (like we all do).
Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany
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dinner with the ex#14
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:25pm
I had dinner last week with my boyfriend from when I was 17. We hadn't seen each other in 34 years.

We're both in long-term relationships (him 12 years, me 14). He was bisexual for most of his 20s, engaged twice, until he finally started a series of several-year-long relationships with men. I felt nothing of the love and lust I felt for him when I was 17, but I felt an enormous amount of affection and we vowed to get the two couples together.

A few months ago, I had brunch with my very first boyfriend, from when I was 15. He was 17 then and a ballet dancer, and he was beautiful. He's retired now, also in a long-term relationship.

He was my first love and when he broke up with me, I was devastated. Although he doesn't have his dancer's body or pretty face anymore, I fell for him all over again.

I refrained, however, from asking him the question that has haunted me my whole life: Why, why, WHY did you break up with me?

Something just told me if I didn't ask the question, I would enjoy the reunion more. I would be who I am now than rather than that hurt 15-year-old again. We've chatted frequently since then.

I'm not sure what made me reunite with these two men this year, but it's been very healing.
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DottieD'Luscia
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dinner with the ex#15
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:27pm
Isn't it funny the feelings that are brought to the surface when one sees an ex?
Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany
DG
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dinner with the ex#16
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:29pm
I solve this dilemma by not having any exes.
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Calvin
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dinner with the ex#17
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:30pm
You're the AntiSOMMS!
DG
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dinner with the ex#18
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:31pm
I donated all my potentials to SOMMS.

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papalovesmambo
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dinner with the ex#19
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:39pm
years back, the one who i thought sure was the one - until she effin went and married someone else just because i moved to ny and didn't see her for two years - and i ran into one another while the mrs and i were back in the sticks. she thought it would be great if the four of us had lunch. her and her hubby and me and my mrs. hey, why not i thought.

it was just about the most awkward hour of my mrs and her mr's lives i think. we got on like gangbusters and both of them sat there and it was clear from their faces and body language that they were both thinking, "wtf are we doing here????"

i got a call from her a few weeks later and she said, "there's nothing that can be done now, but i screwed up. lunch made me realize it." but our time had passed, she was popping out kids like a palestinian rocketeer and the mad korean would have gutted us both like fish. that was the last time we ever spoke.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
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dinner with the ex#20
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:43pm
Papa, when you used the word "I" was it you or her who messed up?
Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany
husk_charmer
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dinner with the ex#21
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:50pm
My crazy ex story:

So, just after my 18th Birthday, I start dating this wonderful guy. He's cute, he's funny, he's great in bed, etc. Long about June, I get this call at work, that he's missing, and went psycho while at his job, and all sorts of crazy stuff. So, I go over to his apartment, and his roommate answers, hasn't seen him. The worry grows, so I head home to change and start looking. On my way back out the door, I get a call that he had commited suicide, and the scene was grizzly. His roommate talked me into staying home (which wasn't hard...I don't do blood/guts well.) I go the memorial service, and that's the end of it.

Flash forward to Thanksgiving that same year. Two of my old High School buddies and I are walking through the mall...and who do I see? My EX! I remember something like this:
Ex: I meant to call
Me: Being dead usually stops that, doesn't it?

I don't remember much after that, but it was apparently very scary. I found out later it was for an acting assignment...or something. Either way, it would have been nice to have been in on the joke.
http://www.youtube.com/huskcharmer
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nitsua
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dinner with the ex#22
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:55pm
I had a boyfriend in high school that I was crazy for. He was gorgeous and I loved him and I hurt him and we broke up. He actually lives in Vegas during the summer (he goes to school in another state). He week in touch, but we haven't seen each other since the day he moved here, in '04.

I don't know if I can.
"Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, then you do it for a few friends, and finally you do it for money." ~ Moliere
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Calvin
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dinner with the ex#23
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:55pm
They went as far as to fake a MEMORIAL SERVICE?

I've actually heard of a person being so passive-aggressive that he got a friend to write the boyfriend and say that he died to get out of a relationship without a mess, but my heavens. That beats all.
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papalovesmambo
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dinner with the ex#24
Posted: 3/21/08 at 12:58pm
her, dottie. i had begged and pleaded with her to give me 24 hours to prove that she was making a mistake before she married him. i offered to fly her to nyc. now, i'm happy she said no.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective