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I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...

Cruel_Sandwich
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I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#1
Posted: 8/16/07 at 2:56pm
I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...

Shank my skin and gore my liver. Impale my head and drain my blood. Crush my ribcage and suck out my heart. Crack open my skull and smash my brain into a gummy paste.
Human beings are the ultimate of follies. Continually thinking that their maniacal dance upon Earth's soils have merit and meaning. They cannot hear the literal clock just beneath their epidermal packaging: The literal biological clock. Each beat of the heart brings them closer to death.
To shield their brains from their imminent wasting away into the abyss of inevetibility, they have exploited their need for violence and their need for blood. They salivate, they drool, and they foam at the mouth. They howl for your blood. Within the bubbling pits that make up their minds, they have forged torture. Pain. Doom. Destruction.
Daddy Day Camp is an instrument of torture. No different than those used by the warriors on the battlefield onto their enemies. It conditions you so that your rationality disappears completely, and then it strikes. Fred Savage brings out the hounds, the troops, the snakes; each and every weapon at his arsenal. Blood. Gore. Gore. Blood. Bloor. Bloor. By the time all 93 minutes have elapsed, you are no longer an audience member. You are something more. You are a victim.

Updated On: 8/16/07 at 02:56 PM
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tazber
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#2
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:04pm
quit rambling and just tell us why you wasted your time? Did you lose a bet or something?
....but the world goes 'round
Cruel_Sandwich
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#2
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:09pm
I have a sister.
SorryGrateful
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#3
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:11pm
Seriously, when did Cuba Gooding, Jr., become that guy? He's talented, good-looking, why is he doing these heinous movies?
You promised me poems. ~Tricky
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Calvin
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#4
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:11pm
A young girl was trudging along a mountain path, trying to reach her grandmother's house. It was bitter cold, and the wind cut like a knife. When she was within sight of her destination, she heard a rustle at her feet.

Looking down, she saw a snake. Before she could move, the snake spoke to her. He said, "I am about to die. It is too cold for me up here, and I am freezing. There is no food in these mountains, and I am starving. Please put me under your coat and take me with you."

"No," replied the girl. "I know your kind. You are a rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you will bite me, and your bite is poisonous."

"No, no," said the snake. "If you help me, you will be my best friend. I will treat you differently."

The little girl sat down on a rock for a moment to rest and think things over. She looked at the beautiful markings on the snake and had to admit that it was the most beautiful snake she had ever seen.

Suddenly, she said, "I believe you. I will save you. All living things deserve to be treated with kindness."

The little girl reached over, put the snake gently under her coat and proceeded toward her grandmother's house.

Within a moment, she felt a sharp pain in her side. The snake had bitten her.

"How could you do this to me?" she cried. "You promised that you would not bite me, and I trusted you!"

"You knew what I was when you picked me up," hissed the snake as he slithered away.

(courtesy of the HD Thoreau school of plagiary)
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tazber
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#5
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:15pm
Shame on you Cruel. As a responsible brother it is your duty to shield your sister from horrors like this.

And SG, he won an Oscar too. What gives?
Still, it couldn't have been worse than Boat Trip.
....but the world goes 'round
Cruel_Sandwich
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#6
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:16pm
The trailer looked promising...
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RobbO
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#7
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:16pm
cal, is that a comment on the movie or the poster?
XING
PED
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yodamarie78
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#8
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:19pm
RobbO the beauty is how well it fits both.
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Calvin
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#9
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:22pm
Like David Lynch with "Mulholland Drive," I refuse to interpret my own work. Or, in this case, my own stolen work.

I say only this:
Notice the appearance of the red lampshade.
And where is Aunt Ruth?
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tazber
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#10
Posted: 8/16/07 at 3:34pm
When I saw Mullholland Drive it said on the insert "look for these clues in the movie to help unlock the secrets of Mullholland Drive" and then listed a few.
So I watched the movie thinking it was actually possible to make sense of it. Boy was I surprised.

Still loved it though.
....but the world goes 'round
worrell4077
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#11
Posted: 8/16/07 at 7:55pm
In one of the recent Batman comics by Paul Dini, The Joker says in the beginning "As the snake said to the little girl, you knew what I was when you picked me up." So, there's a reference back to that story Calvin posted.

I don't know why anyone would want to see Daddy Day Camp, it doesn't look like a good film. Half the films of the summer haven't been exactly great films. I guess we know why Eddie Murphy and the other main guy(Jeff from Curb Your Enthusiam I think) didn't want to come back.
Updated On: 8/16/07 at 07:55 PM
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sondheimboy2
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#12
Posted: 8/18/07 at 1:10pm
I'm always of two minds when it comes to Cuba Gooding's career since "Jerry Maguire":

One part says that it is a testament to how difficult it is for an actor of color to find intelligent roles worthy of your talents.

The other part feels that he is screaming "Please Take Away My Oscar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"A coherent existance after so many years of muddle" - Desiree' Armfelt, A Little Night Music "Life keeps happening everyday, Say Yes" - 70, Girls, 70 "Life is what you do while you're waiting to die" - Zorba
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pab
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re: I Actually Saw Daddy Day Camp...#13
Posted: 8/18/07 at 1:36pm
"Seriously, when did Cuba Gooding, Jr., become that guy? He's talented, good-looking, why is he doing these heinous movies?"

They showed him the money.
"Smart! And into all those exotic mystiques -- The Kama Sutra and Chinese techniques. I hear she knows more than seventy-five. Call me tomorrow if you're still alive!"