"...The HELL?!" moments in productions

[Jennifer Lynn]

This weekend, I saw a production of the musical "Scrooge" (the one that's adapted from the Albert Finney/Bricusse/Newley movie) that inspired me to create this thread. In productions of musicals that you've seen, can you name me any "...the HELL?" moments--in other words, things that the director has just dropped into the production that shows s/he isn't paying much attention to the work's coherence or meaning?

This production of Scrooge (which used recorded backing tracks instead of live music) was rife with them. Just after Scrooge saw Marley's face on the door knocker and went into his house, we "cut" to Mrs. Cratchit singing the Carpenters' "Merry Christmas, Darling," to her family. The CARPENTERS. In DICKENSIAN LONDON. With a 70'S POP BACKING TRACK. (Plus, she was singing a song about wishing a loved one were with her for Christmas...to her husband and children, who WERE there with her for Christmas.) Now, I realize that they needed to cover up a costume change for Scrooge, but couldn't they have just had some carolers come along to sing a more period-appropriate carol?

Then there was the Spirit of Christmas Past. She was portrayed by a grown woman and a child who spoke their lines in unison. Which, in and of itself, wasn't such a bad idea, since Dickens described this Ghost as being both young and old. But her appearance in Scrooge's room was heralded by her singing a jazz arrangement of "My Favorite Things." Apropos of what exactly? And with no lead-in dialogue or anything...she just showed up singing it.

Plus, when the Spirit left Scrooge back in his room, the younger Spirit said, "Let's blow this popsicle stand!" Uh...yeah.

At the Cratchit family Christmas, Mrs. Cratchit and the children sang a song called "Good Times" that wasn't in the movie (and no, it wasn't the theme from the TV show--at least we got spared that much). But I think it was from another show...it just didn't sound the same as the rest of the score. In fact, it almost sounded like it was from America in the thirties.

During the "Thank You Very Much" sequence, the Spirit of Christmas Future (portrayed on stilts) bounced along to the music. Kind of undermines the Spirit's menace, doesn't it?

Moments like that are what I'm talking about. Another example is two shows my alma mater did. Now, my alma mater has done excellent shows as well...their "student edition" of Les Mis rivaled any professinal production I've seen. But on occasion, the director can overdo the "merry villager" bit--that is, turning songs into chorus numbers when it doesn't really apply in the interest of getting more kids involved in the show. Which is fine for getting more people involved, but can hurt the show.

For example, in their production of "Sweeney Todd," Todd and Mrs. Lovett strolled the streets of London while singing "A Little Priest"...and, what's more, assorted Londoners joined in on "The history of the world, my pet..."

And in their summer production of "West Side Story," during the Quintet, a chorus of assorted New Yorkers, apropos of nothing in particular, joined in on the final chorus of "The Jets are gonna have their day/The Sharks are gonna have their way/We're gonna rock it tonight/TONIGHT!"

So...what are some "...the HELL?" moments you've seen in productions of plays/musicals you've seen?

[Mattbrain]

I saw this production of Julius Caesar that this troupe did for my school. It was so irritatingly stylized. Every single thing that did not appear onstage but was referred to in the text, like Cassius recounting when he saved Caesar from drowning, was actually reenacted onstage. Apparently, they thought, "Every part of this script must be visualized." Long story short, I wound up watching Caesar get murdered twice. Once, when they were just talking about the plan and again when the thing actually happened. And they used red ribbons for blood. It was screwed up. That's all I can say.

I also saw this...I can scarcely call it a production of Beauty and the Beast where it was cut down to 20 minutes. Not one word of the original screenplay remained. There were the same characters but it sure as hell wasn't Beauty and the Beast. Gaston had like two scenes. The Beast didn't even turn back into a Prince or get stabbed. It was also screwed up.

Then I saw this production of The Taming of the Shrew. It overemphasized the Italianness of the piece. It took place in Little Italy in Boston during the 50s. There were stereotypical Italian accents. There were countless ad-libs. At one point, one character said, "Who's your daddy?" Petruchio entered riding a moped. Towards the end, one character is getting chased off. He runs into the "audience" (this was on the Boston Common) and turns to two guys and says, "Stop! Fourth wall." Then he turns to the audience and says, "It's okay. Only Union actors can break the fourth wall." And then the two guys ran after him. It was a terrible production. The Bard must be rolling in his grave. Oh, and since I live in Boston, they felt the need to change the name from Padua to "Bostonia." Oy.

[Jennifer Lynn]

Hmmm. I wonder what it is that makes some Shakespeare-in-modern-dress performances work, and some not? For example, I love the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet, since it really brings home the idea of the feud being ugly and violent...something that traditional-dress productions, as much as I love them, can sometimes lose sight of. And this summer I saw a production of Twelfth Night at the Princeton Rep that set it in the sixties, and worked wonderfully.

I guess it's the difference between doing it in order to get us to see the work in a new way, and doing it just for a cheap gimmick.

[Sant]

"can you name me any "...the HELL?" moments--in other words, things that the director has just dropped into the production that shows s/he isn't paying much attention to the work's coherence or meaning? "

99,9% of the musical NOTRE DAME DE PARIS.

[CATSNYrevival]

it sounds like that production of "Scrooge" may have been illegal. there's no song on the CD titled "Merry Christmas, Darling" and the Carpenters surly did not contribute new songs to the score, though I have not seen the licensed script.

[Shawk]

I saw a college Jekyll and Hyde which was set in New Orleans, and they inexpliably started playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" in the middle of "Murder, Murder." They also threw Mardi Gras beads into the audience. This was in addition to "interpretive dance Death," who, somewhat sadly, was only in the beginning and did not appear every time someone died (by scene three, I was hoping for "amusingly bad" instead of "painfully bad," since the production was clearly going to be bad).

As to bad Shakespeare, my top two are Reservoir Dogs MacBeth, with the witches as homeless women scaling chain-link fences, and a production of "Taming of the Shrew" set in a Bakersfield Bowling Alley in the 50s. Petruchio looked like Elvis and had a motorcycle, Bianca was a cheerleader, and everyone would burst into snippets of Oldies at random moments.

[It's All Good]

At a regional theater a couple years ago I saw a production of "Much Ado about Nothing" where during the scene where people are tricked into thinking Hero is being unfatihful to Claudio, they suddenly flooded the stage with oranges. Yes. Oranges. They stayed there for the rest of the performance and I am surprised someone didn't trip on them. What the hell was that???

[LizzieCurry]

So...what are some "...the HELL?" moments you've seen in productions of plays/musicals you've seen?

Every 5 minutes or so of Lestat.

[Borstalboy]

The little white coffin in SWEENEY.

[jonartdesigns]

i saw a high school version of the king and i that the entire cast (including the sole real asian) save those playing brits were given a light coat of YELLOW grease paint and black lines under their eyes. The set would have been brilliant utilizing these gorgeous faux gold and enamel screens to create the illusion of there being more sets than they had except the fact that they all came out every time in the exact same order, in other words the 8 screens in the kings garden were in the same positions in the library, and his study, and the main palace... etc.

[luvliza89]

Mattbrain, I saw the same production of "Taming of the Shrew". Same qualms (Did they really need to go to Revere Beach, I mean come on!), but I did love the set. The actor playing Tranio was god awful with his "Bostonian" accent. I wanted to punch him in the face after the show, but thought better of it =)

[gumbo2]

I saw a stage adaptation of "Top Gun." Need I say more?

[popculture37]

It is pretty hilarious how Shakespearean text inspires people with such ridiculous ideas sometimes. I assume that the orange-throwing described by Its All Good is a reference to the line when Claudio calls Hero a "rotten orange", which supposedly symbolizes Hero's rotten state of lost innocence and is also somehow a reference to her blushing with guilt-I recently read an article about that line, and it seems to me that its one of those things that scholars read into way too much. That's crazy that they actually made that a major visual point for the scene!
I also saw the Italian/Bostonian Shrew, and I liked it for the most part. Some of it was definitely a little off, but I thought it was very visually striking and it managed not to be completely sickening in the end which that play can easily be.

[lilprima2b]

We're reading Hamlet in my AP English class right now, and my teacher told us about a production that was done here in Vegas a few years ago in which everyone was wearing red and carrying a red parasol, except for Hamlet, who was in black leather, carrying a black parasol. I can't explain to you how much more entertaining Hamlet has been for me with that mental image in my mind...

[ThankstoPhantom]

The Little Boy in Levieux's Fiddler on the Roof was a little out of place, although the intentions were wonderful...

He was just a random boy on stage, in the darkness, so he was barely noticeable. When he was noticed, he was a little distracting from the piece...but the part he played in the final image of the show had great intentions.

[Mattbrain]

Oh, yes, Lestat. When Lestat says, "She's not crying! See, no blood tears!", I thought, "What did he just say?" And there were times when I thought, "Can this guy read minds or something?" And why does Nicholas become a vegetable all of a sudden?

And that's right. Petruchio and Katherina did go to Revere Beach. And what about the bit where Lucentio gets a blow job from Bianca? Frankly, that was the only good bit.

And I lie. I live in a town called Randolph. It's in the South Shore. But the part about me seeing the production is true.

[StephanietheStar]

Original post, cracked me the hell up....thank you.


and even though I've seen A LOT of shows, I don't see a lot of WTH? moments...

[Perfectly Marvelous]

"So...what are some "...the HELL?" moments you've seen in productions of plays/musicals you've seen?

Every 5 minutes or so of Lestat."


I watched a scene from Lestat and it was probably one of the most awkward scenes known to mankind and musical theatre.

It had something to do with Lestat wanting to go out and getting some wine. But then, his 'buddy' (?) Nicholas wanted to play the fiddle and went something along the lines of "I want to play you a little tune" or what have you.


The only '...the HELL?' moment I can think of is when I saw The Crucible a few years ago. Actually, it was a scene from The Crucibe. I was at a one act festival with my school and the hosting school did a scene from The Crucible. Now, in those times, when someone said "Aye" it's said as "I" or "eye" but you get the idea. Did they pronounce it as such? Oooooh no. They said it as "a". It was like The Canadian Crucible. Not once did they say it like that, not even twice...but for the WHOLE TIME that term was used. Which was quite a lot. My poor director was ready to strangle those kids.

[DRSisLove]

The first Ian scene (the one where he's meditating) in High Fidelity.

[StephenSondheimWHOO]

agree with Borstalboy, I adored Sweeney but the white coffin was so weird

[B3TA07]

Elizabeth: In England, Grace O'Malley, we do not destroy good linen.

Grania: In Ireland, my Queen, we do not hold on to bad.





-The Pirate Queen

[It's All Good]

Thought of another one-- a production of "The Crucible" that was set at some indiscriminate point in the future and all the judges were like these robots who rode around on silver electric wheelchairs. I'm ashamed to admit that I was actually part of this production

[faithanytwo]

a robotic crucible? oh dear. that one has got to be the best one I've heard so far.

[husk_charmer]

Well, if I started listing my theatre department in high school WTF? i might not stop for a while. Although, the best was during the court scene in "Crucible" they all froze and a kangaroo hopped around holding a sign that said "Kangaroo Court."

I saw a high school production of "Wizard of Oz" where Emerald City was pink and orange. I have yet to figure that one out. Dorothy also didn't wear socks, but sheer pantyhose, so her legs sparkled the entire time. And the answer to any effect was fog machine.

A different high school did "Peter Pan" as a 2 Act musical, and that was just the start of the issues. The nursery wasn't done being painted. Nana's dog house was a children's backyard playhouse. They couldn't break the nursery apart, so instead they went to a minute long black out, with the orchestra holding the note, and then resumed once the set was offstage. The ship wasn't actually a ship so much as 3 rail fences and a mast. And when Hook jumped into the water they used a garden hose to create the very visible splash effect. And then left the audience in a 2 minute set change blackout.

At ACTF one year I saw an "A Lie of the Mind" that was about 3 hours of "What are they saying, what's going on, why is she fat and bruised and humping that guy?"

[mikem]

I saw a regional theater production in which one of the members of the ensemble sat down center stage, took off his shoe, and started chewing on his toenails. And spitting them out. This had nothing to do with the main action taking place stage left, but of course no one was paying any attention to what any of the other characters were doing or saying. And this was a relatively stodgy, well-established theater with an older subscription base, not an "edgy" theater company. I still don't understand what the director was thinking.