Friday Morning Chuckle

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Friday Morning Chuckle#0
Posted: 8/27/04 at 7:05am
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment. Get their parents
to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the
kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said,
"My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we
were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car
when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and
broke and made a mess." "What's the moral of the story?" asked the
teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!" Very good," said the
teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time,
but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this
story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a
flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a
machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it
wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran
out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the
blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the f*** away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."


"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#1
Posted: 8/27/04 at 7:06am
LOL! I love it!
I hung out with Cheyenne Jackson in his dressing room waayyyyyy before he tickled D2.

"unleash the girly"

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Puppies are babies in fur coats.

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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#2
Posted: 8/27/04 at 7:18am
He he he, thanks again Boobs!
Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#3
Posted: 8/27/04 at 7:19am
oddly enough, that's how my parents met! what're the odds!

ok I kid, great joke though!

"The last train out of any station will not be full of nice guys." - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

"I wash my face, then drink beer, then I weep. Say a prayer and induce insincere self-abuse, till I'm fast asleep"- In Trousers

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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#4
Posted: 8/27/04 at 7:25am
Aunt Karen sounds like a blast...
"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#5
Posted: 8/27/04 at 8:16am
Excellent!!! Thanks!
"It's like I'm your lover or more like your ghost. I spend the day wondering what you do where you go" "A log is like this big around, you're lucky your head didn't fall off, you best get yourself to a hospital....
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#6
Posted: 8/27/04 at 9:21am
Simply your best yet, Possum!
"I don't really get the ending,all i can go with is when after several months,Judith saw Pat sang,and later she kissed him on the toilet,after that the story back to where Pat went down from the stage after he'd sung,and he went to the italian lady.I just don't get it,what Judith exatcly meant when he kissed Pat that she had seen,and did Pat end up together with The Italian Lady?Please help me,thank u very much!" Quote from someone on IMDB in reference to a movie he/she didn't understand. Such grammar!
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#7
Posted: 8/27/04 at 9:23am
thanks boobs -- a great way to start Friday....
"Sir K, the Viscount of Uppity-shire...." -- kissmycookie
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#8
Posted: 8/27/04 at 9:29am
Funny stuff! It's like an episode of Will and Grace.
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#9
Posted: 8/27/04 at 10:49am
We should start everyday with a chuckle
"Friends are the people you chose as family."....Me.
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#10
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:19am
uh yenta, we do. Thanks to Boobs!

Haha my name is Karen. And last night.....you did not want to mess with me while I was drunk!
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#11
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:20am
JID -- we all know NOT to mess with you --thats why we love you so much
"Sir K, the Viscount of Uppity-shire...." -- kissmycookie
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#12
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:22am
aww thanks KMF!
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#13
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:24am
Gosh. This is the same as the Tuesday Morning Chuckle, posted earlier this week or last week.

Can't we get a new chuckle?

President Bush, the First Lady, Dick Cheney and Colin Powell are flying on Air Force One. George looks at Dick, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy." Dick curls his lip and sneers, "Well, I could throw ten $10 bills out the window and make ten people very happy." Laura tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then I could throw one-hundred $1 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy." Colin rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country very happy."
"Life is a lesson in humility"
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#14
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:34am
Sam I Am, when YOU take the initiative to keep us laughing every morning, you can have a right to criticize.
Besides, i've never seen this chuckle before. Cheers to BB :)
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#15
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:36am
Good one SamIam!
"It's like I'm your lover or more like your ghost. I spend the day wondering what you do where you go" "A log is like this big around, you're lucky your head didn't fall off, you best get yourself to a hospital....
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#16
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:39am
Thanks JID...and by the way this is the first time this chuckle was posted...SamIAm, before you criticize you should do a search.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#17
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:42am
Boobs is the queen of morning chuckles -- I read them every day and this is not recycled...
"Sir K, the Viscount of Uppity-shire...." -- kissmycookie
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#18
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:48am
Thanks KMF...you know Boobs never double dips. re: Friday Morning Chuckle
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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re: Friday Morning Chuckle#19
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:49am
unless he's really hot -- then you go back for seconds, right Boobs....
"Sir K, the Viscount of Uppity-shire...." -- kissmycookie
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re: friday morning chuckle#20
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:52am
how dare you besmirch the integrity of my doll, boobs, just to attract attention to your shrill stab at an assault on the leaders of the free world. woe unto you sam, and may a swarm of locusts descend upon you and may a thousand rabid prairie dogs take up residence in your entrails! never ever attack the boobs.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

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re: friday morning chuckle#21
Posted: 8/27/04 at 11:57am
thanks Papa!
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re: friday morning chuckle#22
Posted: 8/27/04 at 12:02pm
Yes...thanks Papa...I will never post Political chuckles.
People on this board have different political views and I never want to insult any of my friends. re: friday morning chuckle
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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re: friday morning chuckle#23
Posted: 8/27/04 at 12:05pm
just one of the myriad reasons why i luvs, ya, boobs.
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.

...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty

pray to st. jude

i'm a sonic reducer

he was the gimmicky sort

fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
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re: friday morning chuckle#24
Posted: 8/27/04 at 2:39pm
Love the chuckle, Bboobs--it even got a "Possum" salute from
Dame Edna (Redhot).

Thanks for making Friday a bit nicer. :o)
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