"We have a traditional untraditional marriage. I’m in a straight relationship to the outside world, but because I came out in my late 30s as queer, I didn’t get a chance to explore that as much as I would have liked. I identify as she/they and we have an open relationship. I don’t know if I would act on it, but knowing the door is unlocked is a comfort. It helps me in my queer identity. I might like Kurt to have a companion. That doesn’t worry me. There’s a level of respect and acceptance that comes with understanding your partner’s sexuality.
Being married does feel more permanent. Love is a commitment and a decision you make everyday. It’s an agreement to work as hard as you can together. Marriage means I’m there for Kurt in a supportive, financial, emotional, parenting, friendship and companionship way. And he’s there for me. We are equal partners, which seems rare. I hope to have that for the rest of our lives.:
"Hey little girls, look at all the men in shiny shirts and no wives!" - Jackie Hoffman, Xanadu, 19 Feb 2008